If You Do Any Of These 20 Things, You're A Lot Nastier Than You Realize

Are You A Horrible Person?

A woman with long, wavy blonde hair is looking directly at the camera with a surprised and slightly puzzled expression. She is wearing a light pink tank top and pointing at herself with her right hand. The background is a plain grey wall.

You’re mean. Or at least, that’s what you’re wondering by clicking through on this article.

Perhaps you even take joy in being a little bit unpleasant or controversial.

Or maybe you don’t think you’re unpleasant to be around, but people always seem to react badly to you.

Well, if you’re doing any of these 20 things, you’re probably coming across a lot nastier than you realized.

1. You point out people’s flaws.

A woman is sitting on a couch, pointing her finger and talking to a man next to her who has his arms crossed and an unhappy expression. Both are casually dressed in a white T-shirt and jeans. The background shows a decorated living room.

You say nasty things to others which humiliates them. Perhaps you’re trying to inflate your own ego because you feel threatened.

You don’t hold your tongue when you should.

You point out people’s flaws and then use those shortcomings against them. You might even be mocking people and sharing things that they’re embarrassed about.

Don’t try to cure your own insecurities by using the insecurities of other people. It’s okay not to be perfect.

2. You’re rude.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a gray blazer and white shirt, sits at a desk and talks to a man in a suit. She gestures with one hand, possibly explaining something. They are in a bright office with large windows and several potted plants in the background.

You don’t always have to say exactly what’s on your mind, and, you don’t always have to mean it. People will enjoy your company more if you are polite, have good manners, and are kind.

Do you forget to say “please”, “thank you” and “I’m sorry” when the situation calls for it?

Try to be sincerely nicer. If you can’t, fake it until you make it. Just be sure that you’re sincere enough not to sound sarcastic.

3. You make demands rather than ask nicely.

A man with a serious facial expression and arms crossed stands in an office, listening to a woman holding documents. The woman, seen from behind, is engaged in conversation with him. The office setting includes shelves and industrial-style lighting.

Are you bossy? Do you demand things when you need them? People don’t like that.

Even if they’re perfectly willing to give you what you need, you should ask for it nicely, not order them to do things for you.

You might think that the world owes you something, but no one actually does. If you want something, just ask for it nicely.

4. You brag too much.

Three men are in a gym. One is wearing boxing gloves and a sleeveless shirt; the other two are casually dressed. They are standing near workout equipment and appear to be having a friendly conversation.

It’s good to be proud of yourself and your achievements, but it’s different from bragging. You overdo it by boasting about your achievements, especially around those you know won’t ever achieve those same things.

You rarely shift the focus onto others and their achievements. You don’t let them get a bit of attention instead of demanding that all the attention goes to you.

You should let someone else be in the spotlight every now and then, but more on that later.

5. You start arguments and always have the last word.

Three young professionals are having a discussion in an office. A man, looking distressed, holds his head with his hand, while a woman in front of him is speaking passionately. Another woman sits in the background looking contemplative. A world map is on the wall.

You don’t need to start arguments, and you don’t have to win each one that happens. Your ego might be hurt, but your reputation won’t be.

If you don’t want people to consider you nasty, avoid getting into arguments—especially the loud public ones. You don’t have to have the last word. Be the bigger person and forgive and forget.

Accept that things can’t always go your way and that that’s not a reason to get into fights. “Take a chill pill” whatever that means to you.

6. You make the conversation all about you.

Two women sit at an outdoor cafe table, engaged in conversation. One woman, wearing a floral dress and statement necklace, is talking animatedly with gestures. The other woman, in a colorful patterned shirt, is holding a white coffee cup near her mouth.

You have to be the center of attention during every conversation. It’s great if you love yourself, but not everyone loves you just as much.

You make all the conversations about you and as a result, you come across as selfish and self-centered, even if you don’t realize it.

You’re self-absorbed and want everyone to be interested in you. News flash – they’re not.

Don’t demand all the attention, be ready to give it, as well as share it with others.

7. You can’t handle criticism.

You cause fights or get defensive whenever you encounter criticism. Don’t take things so personally, and learn to take constructive criticism instead.

Even when the criticism is not constructive, you don’t have to get defensive. Accept that not everyone’s opinions are the same as yours. Use criticism to find more ways to improve yourself.

It’s good that you can stand up for yourself when necessary, but you consider every negative remark as an attack.

Your friends are afraid of telling you what they mean just because it might hurt your ego.

You can’t take a joke at your expense yet you make mean jokes towards others. People will be more apt to enjoy your company if you lighten up and aren’t so easily offended.

8. You can’t keep things to yourself.

Two women sit on a couch in a cozy setting, smiling and talking animatedly. The woman on the left holds a pink mug with both hands, looking excited, while the woman on the right holds a white mug and gestures with her hand. Soft lighting creates a warm atmosphere.

Honesty is usually a positive quality, but you can have too much of a good thing. It’s okay to speak your mind, but you never consider whether what you are saying could hurt someone and if it really needs to be said.

You also comment on everything that you see. You point out when someone is embarrassing themselves rather than looking the other way and saving them the embarrassment.

You might even want to embarrass and shame others. Don’t do this, and learn to keep things to yourself, especially people’s secrets, whether embarrassing or not.

9. You think you know everything.

A group of four people are gathered in a modern coffee shop. Two men and a woman are standing by a counter where one person is pouring coffee. The focus is on a woman in a denim shirt, and there's a woman seated at a table in the background.

Do you really know it all? No one expects you to, yet you act like you’re an expert on everything. You’re certainly not considered humble because you never show your humble side by being open and receptive to other’s thoughts and opinions.

People don’t always want your advice either, even if you know what you’re talking about, but you can’t seem to pick up on that. You state your opinions or give advice even when you’re not asked for it.

It’s okay to share your opinions, but you might be doing too much too often, and too loudly. You’re not okay with keeping things to yourself and admitting that you don’t know everything well enough to form an opinion.

10. You’re aggressive.

Three people are in a hallway, seemingly having a heated conversation. A man on the left has his arms raised and appears frustrated. Another man on the right is gesturing and looks upset. A woman in the middle has her head down and appears distressed.

Being aggressive doesn’t apply only to screaming and fights.

It also means that you push your advice on your friend and think that you’re helpful when you’re just meddling in their business without being asked.

When people want you to back off, and you act like their mom, you are being aggressive in a way. You’re trying to get them to do what you want.

Just like you shouldn’t get defensive, you shouldn’t make others feel attacked, but somehow you manage to.

If most of your conversations sound more like arguments, criticism, or pointing fingers, you’re being aggressive.

11. You’re two-faced and give false compliments.

Two women sitting in a brightly lit room with blue accents, engaged in a cheerful conversation. The woman facing the camera has red hair, glasses, and is smiling, while the other woman, with blurred features, faces away from the camera.

Being two-faced is one of the negative traits that people hate the most. You say something, then you do the opposite. You act in one way in front of someone and then completely change once they’re not there.

No one likes people who do this. You talk behind someone’s back and change your opinion depending on who you’re speaking with. You gossip, and you betray your friends.

Perhaps you even give false compliments. For instance, you’ll tell your friend that they look amazing while in reality, you’re wondering what the hell they are wearing.

Compliments shouldn’t be lies; they should be genuine.

People can sense when you’re not being sincere. If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. And if you do have something nice to say, make sure that you mean it.

12. You complain all the time.

A man in a blue shirt is sitting at a restaurant table with a plate of food, looking confused or frustrated as he talks to a female server who is out of focus. The table has a glass of wine. The background shows shelves with wine bottles and glasses.

No one likes people who complain all the time; it’s negative and exhausting. When you’re single, you complain about not having a partner, and when you have a partner, you complain about them.

There’s constantly a problem in your life, and your friends are tired of hearing about it. What’s more, maybe you always blame someone else for your problems. It’s like it’s never your fault.

Try to become more accountable and positive instead. When people see that you’re constantly complaining about something and doing nothing to resolve it, they’re not going to want to hear about it anymore.

Maybe you don’t complain about your life that often, but you always manage to find the negative side of things. The bar’s too loud, the apartment’s too small, it’s too hot in the park…

Don’t always search for flaws. Remind yourself that no one and nothing is perfect.

13. You flirt with people who are already taken.

Two people enjoying drinks and smiling in an outdoor setting. The person on the left is wearing a light blue shirt and holding a drink with an orange slice. The person on the right is wearing a white top, holding a drink, and laughing. The background is bright and blurred.

Be honest, did you ever steal your friend’s boyfriend? Did you try to? Maybe you constantly crave romantic attention, so much so that you don’t mind flirting with your friend’s partner just so you can get that attention.

It would be best to simply avoid flirting with anyone who’s already in a relationship, but the least you can do is not flirt with your friends’ partners.

Doing these things will just make people stick the “nasty” label on you, and they will avoid being your friend.

14. You judge.

Two women sit at a table in a cozy setting, engaged in an intense conversation. The woman on the left has red hair, is wearing a gray sweater, and gestures expressively. The woman on the right has dark hair, appears frustrated, and rests her hand on her head. They have coffee drinks in front of them.

You don’t like it when things don’t go your way, and you avoid opening your mind to new things. Basically, you’re judgmental even if you don’t like to admit it. You constantly look for flaws, judge others, and criticize everything.

That’s a very negative and closed-off mindset. You jump to conclusions and assume that you already know everything.

You can’t seem to understand that everyone has the right to lead their life the way they want to, and you don’t have the right to judge them for it.

It’s good that you can voice your opinions, but you should know when to keep quiet—your opinions are not always wanted, despite what you might think.

Perhaps you even mock people or make fun of them. But know that when you make fun of people, it’s not funny.

15. You use humor as an excuse to be nasty.

Three people are standing and engaging in a lively conversation. A person in a black outfit is laughing with a hand covering their mouth, while another person in a black outfit is smiling. A third person in a blue shirt is observing and touching their chin.

You might think that you have a great sense of humor when in reality, you’re just being mean. Pranks and insults can make your friends feel like you’re just putting them down.

As a result, they’ll call you awful names and avoid hanging out with you. By all means, be funny, but understand the difference between being funny and being mean.

Perhaps you think you have a great sense of humor, but if you put your friends down and get offended when they playfully tease you, your sense of humor is not as great as you might think.

You may be sarcastic too. It can be funny, but when it crosses the line, it’s just mean.

Don’t insult others, and think before you speak. If they’re more likely to get offended than to laugh, it’s not really a joke.

16. You crave attention badly.

A group of five friends enjoying drinks at a bar. Two women on the left hold colorful cocktails while chatting. The other three, one man and two women, are cheerfully toasting with their drinks. The bar is dimly lit with vibrant lights in the background.

You aren’t happy when you’re not the center of attention. You’re not just seeking romantic attention, you want it from everyone in every possible situation.

You have to be the life of any party and the loudest person at any table. This is not really a positive trait. You don’t have to steal the spotlight everywhere you go and become the focus of every conversation.

The thing is, even if it feels like you’re a superstar when you get all the attention, people don’t really see you that way. They’re probably thinking the complete opposite.

17. You’re too competitive.

Two men in business suits and ties crouching in starting positions on a running track, ready to race. The background shows a blurred stadium with empty seating. The image symbolizes competition in the business world.

Do you get too competitive, even when playing a board game with your friends? If you’ve ever caught yourself screaming because you lost a game, you are definitely too competitive.

Maybe you use insulting words to describe other people that you find intimidating. For instance, if you think someone looks more attractive than you, you use an offensive slur to describe them.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and remind yourself again that no one’s perfect. Although your behavior is self-centered, it’s probably coming from self-esteem issues.

18. You take joy in other people’s misfortune.

A woman in a stained shirt holding a cup and notebooks looks down at the mess on her clothes. Two people in the background are pointing and laughing. An old building and a tree are visible in the background.

If you secretly feel glad when your friends fail, you’re not really their friend, and you might well be a very nasty person.

Maybe you envy your friend for their relationship. So, you find pleasure in their pain when they tell you that their relationship has ended.

These behaviors are awful and nasty. Learn to be happy for others when they succeed at something.

When others fail, be compassionate and give them a shoulder to cry on. Try to show empathy and understand their pain instead of being glad that they have it worse than you.

20. You make your friends fear you.

A woman with long, dark hair sits at an outdoor café table, resting her chin on her hand. She wears a red coat and looks thoughtful. In front of her is a dessert glass with whipped cream and a teapot. Her phone is on the table next to her.

Your friends might be afraid of you to the point that they can’t be honest with you. This is especially true if you snap at them whenever they say what they mean instead of what you want to hear.

You make people feel like they must walk on eggshells around you to avoid upsetting you.

Your friends could also be afraid of you if you have an aggressive approach. It’s not fun to be friends with someone intimidating. People should respect you, but they shouldn’t fear you, and these two things aren’t the same.