12 Smart Ways To Deal With That Person Who Doesn't Like You (Who You Can't Avoid)

Not Everyone Is Going To Like You

Three individuals are sitting at a table with colorful sticky notes and a laptop, engaged in a discussion. A fourth person in the background is placing notes on a board. Glasses of water are on the table, and there are plants in the room.

There are times in your life when you will meet someone who does not like you.

Their reasoning may be logical and fair…

Perhaps you did something to harm them or maybe they were hurt by an indirect action you’re not aware of.

Or it might be totally unreasonable…

Sometimes people just think or believe things for no reason, because emotion isn’t often logical. People can have personality clashes where they just can’t see one another eye-to-eye.

You can try to cut those people out of your life, but what if you can’t? How do you deal with people who don’t like you that you can’t avoid?

1. Remember that everyone is a critic.

A man and woman, both in business attire and wearing glasses, are engaged in an intense conversation outside a modern office building. The man gestures emphatically with his hands, while the woman looks at him with a serious expression, holding one hand open.

People like things. People don’t like things.

People love to be critical of anyone that does a particular thing, oftentimes out of envy that they aren’t the one who is able to do it.

Sometimes people hate just to be able to hate on something.

They may be a miserable person who is looking to find fault elsewhere to avoid dealing with their own negative feelings.

They could also be someone who is lashing out as they struggle to find control in their own life.

2. Understand you’re not responsible for their feelings.

Three women sit around a wooden table in a modern café, each holding a mug of coffee. They appear engaged in conversation. The table has a small potted plant in the center and one woman is looking at her phone. The background shows a bright, airy café interior.

There are a lot of reasons why a person may dislike you.

The problem may be something that you weren’t responsible for at all…

You and your coworker both apply for the same position, you get the position, and they get angry about it. That’s nothing you did directly. You’re allowed to pursue a better wage, life, and progress for yourself, but they may still be angry with you about it.

It’s much easier to be a hater than a positive contributor. It really doesn’t take much effort for a negative person to be negative or hostile to those around them. On the other hand, it takes a lot of effort to be positive when things aren’t going to so well.

3. Choose what to take away from the situation.

Three people, two women and one man, are seated around a table in a modern office setting, engaged in a meeting. The table is cluttered with laptops, notebooks, and stationery. A white brick wall and office chair are visible in the background.

However, not every critic is a hater. Constructive criticism, even if it’s not delivered in the most compassionate of ways, is necessary for improvement. Sometimes you can find pearls of wisdom buried in their feelings and words to you.

Don’t pour too much emotional investment into either positive or negative perceptions of you.

Everyone will have a different point of view and you can choose how you let that affect you.

4. Make an honest assessment of the situation.

A person with brown hair sits indoors, looking thoughtful. They are resting their chin on their interlocked fingers. The background is blurry, with what appears to be bookshelves and various objects. The person is wearing a light blue button-up shirt.

Sometimes a person dislikes another person for no reason. It happens.

But there is a good chance that there is a reason.

Actually, there might be many reasons that a person doesn’t like you.

And some are definitely more valid than others.

Take some time to assess the situation, the other person’s behavior, and why they might not like you.

The reason may be obvious. A coworker might be jealous if you have differing views on an important project and your boss sides with you.

Their feelings might be hurt and they have no way to really channel that in a socially acceptable way in the workplace. That can devolve into passive-aggressiveness or even aggressive-aggressiveness.

5. Get an unbiased, impartial opinion.

Two men sitting in a light-filled room. The man on the left, wearing a striped t-shirt and sporting a tattoo on his left arm, looks thoughtful. The man on the right, in a long-sleeve shirt and jeans, is looking ahead. Shelves with books are visible in the background.

Can you identify why the person doesn’t like you?

If not, is there an unbiased, honest party that you trust who you can ask about the situation?

You might be doing something insensitive or offensive that damages other people’s perceptions of you without realizing it.

6. Accept that you don’t have to get along with everyone.

A woman with blonde hair gazes thoughtfully into the distance. She is wearing an orange blouse and holds a white smartphone in her hand, resting her chin on it. The background is softly blurred, suggesting an indoor setting with some artwork visible.

Perhaps you’re not doing anything that others would consider offensive or insensitive.

It may just be that the two of you don’t mix – like oil and water.

Some people you click with, some people you don’t. It’s not your job to convince everyone in the world to like you.

7. But find a way to keep it civil.

A man in a denim shirt and glasses points to a document on a table while a woman with long hair and a white vest listens attentively. They are working at a desk with a computer, notebook, and coffee cup in an office setting with greenery in the background.

All you really have to do is find a way to peacefully coexist with the people that you don’t get along with if you need to be close to one another.

You may not be able to avoid a coworker that you don’t get along with, but you can keep the work relationship professional by acting with courteousness and respect.

That may be difficult if it’s a matter of clashing personalities. People with strong personalities can end up in conflict if they cannot find a comfortable middle ground to operate from.

8. Don’t engage in petty conflicts.

A group of four young adults sitting at a table, engaging in conversation. One woman with long hair in a ponytail, wearing a gray top, is speaking while holding a yellow mug. The table has various beverages and snacks. Light streams in from a window behind them.

The person you don’t get along with may try to throw hostility at you. Avoid throwing it back at them, no matter how justified it may be.

This may appear to be contrary to the common advice of always standing up for yourself, but standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you should throw yourself into an unwinnable conflict either.

You may end up fighting with that person, throwing away bits of your emotional energy, peace, and happiness.

And for what? To do it all over again tomorrow.

It’s just not worth it in many cases.

9. Don’t give them ammunition.

A group of people sit around a dining table engaging in conversation. A woman with gray hair gestures with her hands while speaking. A man in a blue shirt listens attentively. The table has food, including a salad, and a vase of colorful flowers.

By refusing to engage and respond with your own negativity, you are stripping them of power in the conflict.

That coworker may try to goad you into doing or saying something that can get you disciplined or fired. They may go to management and say that you’re causing a hostile workplace for them.

And then you’ll have to prove yourself. What if you can’t? Do you want to be goaded into losing a job or relationship? Of course not!

If you have to work with this person, stay on target with whatever the job is and get it done as efficiently as possible. Then you can get away from that person and move on to something else.

This might mean yielding some ground on how a joint task is done. They might want to do things their way – a way that is different to yours.

Ask yourself whether you can bend this time in an effort to reduce tension – assuming that their way is not detrimental to the result of the task.

10. Minimize contact.

A woman with short blonde hair is focused on writing in a small notebook while sitting at a desk with a laptop in front of her. In the background, two people are standing and talking, with a shelf of binders and books behind them. The setting appears to be an office.

Of course, the only option you might have is to just minimize contact with the person to avoid any unnecessary conflicts.

And if you do reach a point where a clash with the person is inevitable, do carefully consider the environment and the potential repercussions if you do.

It might be better to address the issue with a third person. At work, this should be your boss or line manager. They can mediate the disagreement and their presence might make the two of you calmer and less like to display your anger.

11. Release your anger and frustration.

A person with long blonde hair is standing on a beach with eyes closed, arms raised, and a peaceful expression. The person is wearing a red and white T-shirt. The ocean and blue sky serve as the backdrop.

The worst thing you can do with not being liked is dwell on it.

It’s something that needs to be pushed out of your mind when you’re not actively engaged in dealing with it, otherwise it will cause you unnecessary stress and anxiety.

You don’t want to live your life dreading interactions with a person who doesn’t like you and that you can’t avoid.

Don’t let them have free room and board in your head.

They don’t deserve it.

Do whatever it takes to get those thoughts out of your head. Ground yourself in the moment and focus on whatever activity needs to be done. It will help pull your mind away from dwelling on the dealings you had with that person.

12. Spend more time with people who love you.

Four adults, two men and two women, stand around a kitchen island preparing a meal. One man is pouring wine into a glass. There are various bowls of salad, bottles of oil, and vegetables on the counter. The group appears to be enjoying each other's company.

The easiest way to cancel out a negative person is to surround yourself with positive, loving people who care about you.

That positive energy will help to counteract the stress and frustration that comes from dealing with a negative person.

And if you happen to be in a place where you don’t have those kinds of circles, focus on building some.

Don’t throw away valuable time and emotional energy on those negative interactions. Get through them when you must and move on to more worthwhile things.

Life is too short to play pointless games with petty people.