If Your Man Has Become Distant, Do These 14 Things Before It's Too Late

Is your man slipping away? Act now!

A young woman with long blonde hair looks worried while sitting indoors, resting her hand on her temple. In the blurred background, an older man with gray hair and a beard sits with his arms crossed, also appearing concerned.

While there’s no easy fix for things like this, there’s always something you can do.

Naturally, you are going to need to talk about this, and while you shouldn’t push someone who’s pulling away, it will be easier to solve the problem once you’ve identified it.

Let’s start from the start though, because the first thing you need to do when your boyfriend is acting distant is respect his wishes.

1. Give him time and space.

A young man with curly hair and stubble extends his hand toward the camera as if to stop or block the view. He wears a dark blazer and a scarf while standing in front of large stone columns bathed in warm sunlight. The background is out of focus.

When a man needs space, you have no other choice but to give him what he needs.

Don’t push someone who is pulling away. When he takes a step back, you need to take one too.

You probably don’t want to do this, and you’d rather spend even more time with him to try to fix the problem, but accept that you can’t force him into anything.

What’s more, you want the desire to reconnect to be something he feels naturally, and not be the result of you pressuring him into doing it.

2. Respect his needs.

A woman and a man sit on a couch, both looking displeased. The woman, wearing a red plaid shirt and jeans, has her arms folded and looks away. The man, wearing a black shirt and jeans, looks focused on a tablet he's holding. The setting appears to be a living room.

Show emotional maturity by respecting his needs and letting him have the time and space he needs to figure out what he wants.

What if you lose him by doing so? There’s always a risk of losing him, but you’re certainly not increasing the odds by letting him have what he wants. In fact, you’re making the odds work in your favor by doing the best thing you can do in your situation!

Let your partner do what he thinks is right in this situation, and don’t pressure him into doing anything that he’s not yet comfortable doing.

3. Slow things down.

A man with short brown hair and a beard is sitting on a couch with his arms crossed, looking away to his left. A woman with blonde hair is sitting beside him, gently holding his arm and looking at him with concern. They are in a room with a white brick wall.

Speaking of pressuring him, have you been bringing up commitment, moving in, getting married or having kids? Even if you didn’t pressure him into taking the next step, things might be moving too fast for him.

How long have you been together? If you’ve only recently met and jumped right into a committed relationship, he might feel the need to take a step back.

Maybe you got married or had kids quickly, or you’re not married but you instantly clicked so much that you’ve been spending every waking hour next to each other ever since. It might not even be such a bad idea to pull back a little if that’s the case.

4. Take it back a step.

A man and a woman sit at a table in a modern, well-lit café, smiling and having a conversation. The man holds a cup of coffee, and the woman has a glass of orange juice with a straw. The background features large windows with daylight streaming in.

All in all, when a man becomes distant, it can be because things are moving too fast, so try to slow them down. Go back to “just dating” for now even if you’ve made significant progress from “just dating” so far.

Or if you’re married and wanting kids, take it back to just enjoying being a couple for now.

This doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly in a less committed relationship, but you should dial things back a bit until he seems ready to approach them again.

5. Don’t try to prevent him from doing things.

A woman with curly hair, wearing a light pink sweater, stands behind a man in a checkered shirt, resting her head on his back and holding onto his arms. The man looks forward with a serious expression. The background is plain white.

Men fear being trapped in a relationship, and to them, this means not getting to see their friends or engage in other activities that matter to them. So, in light of this fact, start encouraging your boyfriend to have a life outside of the relationship.

Surely you don’t mind that he spends time with his friends, but maybe you’ve prevented him from doing so on several different occasions. Maybe you thought that watching a movie with you was more important than playing video games with the guys, but was it more important to him?

6. Encourage him to have his own life.

Four men are standing together outdoors by a fence, near a basketball court. One man is holding a basketball, and they appear to be engaged in friendly conversation. The weather is sunny with a clear blue sky. They are all dressed in casual athletic wear.

He might feel like you’re not letting him have a life outside of the relationship, and this is what makes men run for the hills. So, encourage him to live his life and don’t ask him to spend all of his free time with you.

Be the kind of girlfriend that lets him go out with his friends without texting or calling all night to check up on him. Let him have time for things he enjoys doing, even if you don’t understand why he enjoys doing them. If he’d rather spend Friday night watching sports with his friends instead of going to a restaurant with you, that should be okay.

Instead of getting mad at him, do your thing while he does his. It’s so simple, and yet it can do wonders for your relationship.

7. Have a life outside of the relationship.

A woman with a red headband and hoop earrings is focused on painting. She is seated in a studio with various art supplies and furniture in the background. She wears a green shirt and holds a brush, working on a canvas. The environment is cozy and artistic.

Just like your man needs a life outside of the relationship, so do you. When you encourage him to go out with his friends, don’t just sit there wishing he was there next to you. Live your life while he lives his.

Focus on yourself and try to make yourself happy. If you expect him to make you happy, you’re putting a tremendous burden on him. Yes, your partner should make you happy, but your happiness shouldn’t depend on him. You should feel like a complete person without him and find fulfillment outside of your love life.

8. Don’t neglect your own needs.

Two women sit at a round, white metal table outdoors, engaged in a lively conversation. One woman wears a light blue striped shirt, the other a beige top. Books and a drink are on the table. The background is a cozy café with plants and other customers seated.

Surely you have friends, family, a job, and hobbies just like he does. So, don’t neglect those things just because you’re head over heels in love. It can be tempting to obsess over your love life, but having something else to focus on is good for you and can ease the pressure on your relationship.

Don’t let your entire life revolve around your love life. Again, when your boyfriend is out there doing his thing, you should be doing yours.

9. Talk about it.

A man and a woman are engaged in a serious conversation at a white table in a minimalist room. Both are holding pens and have papers in front of them. The woman is gesturing with her pen, while the man listens attentively. There are white mugs on the table.

If the problem doesn’t go away on its own, it will have to come up in a conversation eventually.

If you gave your man the time, space, and freedom he needs, and are trying to move at a pace he is comfortable with, but things aren’t getting better, you have no choice but to talk about it.

10. But be supportive.

A woman with curly hair wearing a striped shirt looks down with a pensive expression. In the blurry background, a man in a blue shirt stands with his head down and hand covering his face, appearing distressed.

Try to be supportive instead of overbearing and let him know that you’re there for him if he needs your help. Let him know that he can tell you anything and that you can work on it together.

He may find it hard to open up and express his thoughts and feelings for a number of reasons. You might be met with some resistance when you try to broach the topic of him becoming distant.

Make him feel safe and able to tell you what’s bothering him, even if it’s something you have been doing. You can do this by showing him that you’re open to working on yourself and by not taking an aggressive or defensive approach.

Try to be understanding and get him to open up to you so that you could find a solution together.

11. Don’t nag him.

A man with glasses, wearing a blue shirt, stands with his arms crossed and looks away. A woman with long hair and a gray sweater stands behind him, with her arms out and a frustrated expression. They are in a bright room with curtains and large windows.

While there’s nothing wrong with bringing up this issue, there’s a difference between talking about it and just nagging him to tell you the problem.

If you have tried to have a serious conversation with him, but he keeps avoiding it and doesn’t want to give you a straightforward answer, there’s no point in pushing him.

Don’t nag him into telling you because you could do the opposite of what you want and push him even further away from you.

12. Don’t obsess over it.

A woman with blonde hair and a serious expression lies on a bed, staring thoughtfully upward. Beside her, a man with dark hair and beard lies close, looking at her with a soft expression. Both are dressed in casual white tops in a relaxed bedroom setting.

To avoid nagging him, try not to obsess over it in the first place.

Maybe he can’t give you the answer because he doesn’t know what that answer is yet. Give him time to figure out his feelings on his own and focus on yourself. Don’t chase him; let him come to you when he’s ready.

13. Talk about your relationship goals.

A man and a woman sit across from each other at a wooden table, holding white mugs and smiling. They are both wearing white shirts. A bright window with greenery in the background illuminates the scene. Glasses rest on the table near the woman.

Maybe he doesn’t want to tell you why he’s being distant, but you certainly have a right to know where you stand with him. Talk about your relationship and figure out whether he’s willing to work on it or is considering ending it. After all, that’s the real question you want an answer to.

Unfortunately, though, you have to be prepared that there aren’t always simple answers when it comes to love. It would certainly be fair of him to tell you if he’s having doubts about the relationship, but he might not do that. He might not be sure of what he wants to begin with.

Give him time to find out, but don’t wait for him forever. If you can’t have a conversation about where your relationship’s going right now, you can’t postpone it forever.

14. Seek professional help.

A woman wearing glasses and a gray suit is seated on a couch, facing a man and a woman. The woman has a thoughtful expression, holding a pen and paper. The background shows shelves with books and binders.

As you have already learned, the biggest problem with someone being distant in a relationship is that that they might not have the answers you’re looking for, even if they’re willing to give you them.

As long as both of you still want to save your relationship, it can be saved, and there are people that can help you with that. You can talk to a professional right now or try the above-mentioned ways to deal with this problem alone.

Even if the reason your boyfriend’s being distant has nothing to do with you and your relationship, encourage him to seek help in resolving the issue. Whether or not the issue is related to you, if you’re both willing to work on it, you can find a solution together. You might just need a little help.

Let an experienced relationship expert help you with that so that you can go back to being happily in love.

On the other hand, if your boyfriend just gets more and more distant until he makes himself disappear, you’ll have to accept that and move on.

It’s not too late. So try to identify the problem and seek the help of a professional in resolving it.