15 Phrases That Scream Gaslighting In Everyday Conversations

Have You Heard These Phrases Recently?

A woman and a man are working at a desk with laptops and desktop monitors in front of a textured gray wall. The woman is speaking seriously while the man, wearing glasses, looks thoughtful with his hand on his chin. A coffee cup and model airplanes are on the desk.

Gaslighting is the emotional equivalent of someone rearranging your furniture while you’re out and then insisting it’s always been that way. It’s a sneaky tactic used by some people to gain control and power in relationships, whether personal or professional.

Recognizing the signs of gaslighting is crucial for protecting your mental health and maintaining healthy relationships.

Here we’ve got 15 common phrases that often indicate gaslighting behavior. By learning to identify these red flags, you’ll be better equipped to stand up for yourself and maintain your sense of truth.

1. “That never happened.”

A smiling woman wearing glasses and a blue sweater sits at a desk, engaging in conversation with another woman in a white shirt, who has her back to the camera. A man in a red jacket stands blurred in the background. The scene appears to be in a casual setting.

Ah, the classic “That never happened.” Like someone eating the last cookie and then swearing there never was a cookie. It’s designed to make you question your memory and maybe even your sanity.

If you hear this phrase often, pay attention. It might be a sign that someone is trying to manipulate your reality and undermine your confidence in your own memories.

(And maybe start labeling your cookies.)

2. “You’re too sensitive.”

A woman and a man sit on a beige couch in a well-lit room. The man gestures with his hand, appearing to speak, while the woman rests her hand on her head, looking distressed. There is a birdcage and a window with blinds in the background.

When someone tells you “You’re too sensitive,” what they really mean is, “I don’t want to deal with your feelings, so I’ll just invalidate them instead.”

Your feelings are valid. If something upsets you, it’s okay to express that. Don’t let others make you doubt your own emotional responses.

3. “You’re imagining things.”

A woman and a man are having an intense conversation while sitting on a couch in a living room. The woman is gesturing with her hands, and the man, wearing glasses and a checkered shirt, is leaning forward and looking at her seriously. A fruit bowl is visible on a nearby table.

When someone tells you you’re imagining things, they’re essentially saying your reality is a figment of your imagination. Newsflash: Your experiences are real, and you’re not losing your marbles.

If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts. Don’t let others convince you that your perceptions are wrong.

4. “It’s all in your head.”

A woman and a man sit across from each other at a table, engaging in a conversation. The woman, holding a coffee cup, gestures with her hand, while the man listens attentively with an open posture. Both appear to be in a casual setting, possibly a café.

This one is a favorite among gaslighters. When someone says this, they’re invalidating your reality and hoping you’ll start doubting yourself.

Don’t fall for it. Trust yourself, even if others try to convince you otherwise. You’re not a hypochondriac; you’re perceptive.

5. “You’re overreacting.”

Two men sitting at a desk in a discussion. One man with a beard is wearing a light blue shirt and has a disposable coffee cup in front of him. The other man, with glasses and a gray sweater, gestures with his hand as he speaks. Both have laptops on the desk.

When someone tells you you’re overreacting, they might as well be saying, “Your feelings are an inconvenience to me.” It minimizes your emotions and suggests you’re not justified in your response.

As we keep saying, your feelings are valid, and you have the right to express them. If you hear this often, it might be a sign of emotional manipulation in your relationship. Don’t let others dictate how you should feel or make you out to be a drama queen. You’re emotionally intelligent, are they?

6. “It was just a joke.”

Ah, the good old “It was just a joke.” This is the gaslighter’s get-out-of-jail-free card. They use it to backtrack when they realize you won’t go along with their nonsense.

But if a joke hurts you, it’s not funny. And if it’s not funny, it’s not a joke, is it?

Don’t be made to feel like you just don’t get humor. The only joke here is the person gaslighting you.

7. “No one else thinks that.”

Three women stand outdoors in front of a forest, smiling and enjoying drinks in plastic cups. They are wearing summer dresses and wide-brimmed hats. Sunlight filters through the trees, creating a warm and bright atmosphere.

This phrase is designed to make you feel like you’re the odd one out, like you’re the only person in the world who thinks pineapple on pizza is a bad idea.

Remember, your thoughts and feelings are real and true, even if others don’t agree. Trust your own judgment and don’t let someone else define your reality.

8. “You’re being paranoid.”

Two men are sitting at a wooden table in a bar, each holding a beer bottle. The man on the left, looking distressed, has his head resting on his hand. The man on the right is comforting him with a hand on his shoulder. A plate of nachos is on the table.

When someone tells you you’re being paranoid, they’re essentially saying, “Your concerns are too much for me to handle right now.” It’s a classic gaslighting tactic that shifts blame onto you instead of acknowledging the issue at hand. By labeling your worries as paranoia, they’re implying that your thoughts are irrational or unfounded.

But if something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts and don’t let others minimize your experiences. Chances are, you’re not paranoid, you’re highly perceptive.

9. “I didn’t say that.”

Two women sit on the floor in front of an open laptop, engaged in discussion. One has braided hair and wears glasses and a white shirt; the other has light hair tied back and wears a striped shirt. An open book lies in front of them, with a gray couch in the background.

This one’s like someone hitting the undo button on a conversation. You might clearly remember the person saying something, but they deny it outright, leaving you questioning your sanity.

It’s crucial to trust your recollection and not let others manipulate your memories. If possible, keep records or ask others present to verify what was said.

10. “You must be confused.”

Two women sit at a table covered with notebooks, coffee cups, pens, and a potted plant. One woman, in a red polka dot blouse, points at the other woman's notebook. The other woman, in a striped shirt, looks down, appearing to study or read.

When someone tells you “You must be confused,” they’re subtly undermining your perception of reality. This phrase implies you’re misunderstanding the situation, even when you’re sure of what happened.

It’s a tactic used to make you doubt your memory and judgment. The gaslighter shifts blame onto you, suggesting your confusion is the problem, not their actions.

By questioning your clarity, they avoid taking responsibility and maintain control over the narrative. Trust your instincts if you hear this phrase often in your interactions.

11. “You’re remembering it wrong.”

A woman in a gray blazer and a man with glasses, a beard, and arm tattoos are having a conversation at a desk in a modern office. They are facing each other with a laptop, small potted plant, and glass of water on the desk between them.

When someone tells you that you’re remembering something incorrectly, it’s like they’re trying to rewrite history in their favor. Your memories and experiences are equally real and valid, even if they differ from someone else’s. Who’s to say which is correct?

If this happens a lot, consider keeping a journal to document important events.

12. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

Two people sit across from each other at a small table in a café. The woman, wearing a blue shirt, looks down while stirring her drink with a straw. The man, in a gray t-shirt, faces her with his back to the camera. White chairs and windows are in the background.

This phrase dismisses your feelings and experiences. It suggests your concerns are trivial or overblown. By using these words, someone may be trying to downplay a situation that’s important to you. They’re implying you’re overreacting or being too sensitive.

You’re not crazy for having feelings, folks. If something bothers you, it bothers you. End of. Don’t let anyone brush off your concerns with this dismissive line.

13. “Everyone agrees with me.”

A man leaning against a kitchen counter, wearing a plaid shirt, looks away with a contemplative expression. A woman standing behind him is pointing and appears to be speaking to him sternly. The kitchen has modern decor with open shelves and various dishes.

News flash: Not everyone agrees with them. In fact, most people probably don’t. It’s just their way of trying to make you doubt yourself and your own opinions.

Remember, it’s highly unlikely that everyone agrees with any single viewpoint. Your opinions and feelings are valid, even if they differ from others.

14. “You’re crazy.”

A woman with long blonde hair sits at a table in a coffee shop, looking stressed and resting her temples on her hands. She appears to be in a serious conversation with a man, who is facing away from the camera. Blurred background of the cafe interior.

This phrase is the ultimate gaslighting tactic. When someone calls you “crazy,” they’re dismissing your feelings and experiences, hoping you’ll doubt your own perceptions.

Hopefully you’ve gathered by now that your emotions and thoughts are valid. If someone uses this phrase, it’s often a huge red flag in the relationship. Run for the hills.

15. “No one else would put up with you.”

A man in a green sweater sits on a couch, gently touching the shoulder of a woman in a striped pink-and-white long-sleeve shirt and blue jeans. The woman looks down, appearing upset or deep in thought, while the man looks at her with concern.

Ever heard this gem? Congratulations! You’re apparently so unbearable that only this one special person can tolerate you.

But wait, there’s more! This phrase comes with a free side of isolation and self-doubt. You might start wondering if you’re really that awful. Spoiler alert: You’re not. It’s just a classic gaslighting tactic to keep you feeling dependent and grateful for their “patience.” Don’t fall for it, you’re awesome.