14 Attitudes That Instantly Make You Unapproachable

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Stop scaring people off with these attitudes!

Two women are sitting on a bench in a park. One woman with light hair gestures as she speaks, while the other woman with dark hair listens with a serious expression. Trees and a building are visible in the background under sunny weather.

Ever wondered why some people seem to have an invisible force field around them, repelling others like opposite magnets? It’s not because they’re secretly superheroes or have a bad case of body odor. The truth is, certain attitudes can turn you into a human porcupine, making others think twice before approaching you.

You might be unknowingly sending out “stay away” vibes without realizing it. Don’t worry, though! This article will expose 14 attitudes that instantly make you as approachable as a cactus in a balloon store.

1. A sense of entitlement.

Two women having a conversation outdoors. The woman on the left is facing away from the camera, and the woman on the right, with long dark hair and wearing a light-colored jacket, appears to be reacting with a surprised or confused expression.

You know that person who acts like the world owes them something? Yeah, that’s not a good look.

When you strut around expecting special treatment, people tend to run the other way. It’s like wearing an “I’m too important for you” sign on your forehead.

Nobody wants to approach someone who thinks they’re above everyone else. So maybe dial down the diva act a notch or two, eh?

2. Defensiveness.

Do you treat every conversation like a courtroom drama? That’s defensiveness in action. It’s like you’re trying not to get sent down for a crime no one has even accused you of—you deflect even the gentlest suggestions.

Want to make people run for the hills? Just respond to everything with “It’s not my fault!” or “You’re wrong!” Bonus points if you cross your arms and pout while doing it.

3. Arrogance.

A man with a neatly groomed beard, dressed in a light gray suit and white shirt, leans against a large window in a modern office. He holds a smartphone in his right hand and gazes thoughtfully out the window. The room features white brick walls and ample natural light.

Do you think you’re God’s gift to humanity? Yeah, don’t be that person. Arrogance is the social equivalent of dousing yourself in eau de skunk—people won’t come near you.

Want to make friends? Try humility instead. It’s much more attractive and doesn’t require such a big hat size.

4. Pessimism.

Young man with short, light brown hair and a beard looking directly into the camera. He is resting his chin on his hands and wearing a blue sweater over a collared shirt. The background appears to be out of focus, suggesting a bright and airy indoor setting.

Feeling down in the dumps? Great, let’s spread that gloom around like it’s your job! Nothing says “stay away” quite like a cloud of negativity hovering over your head.

You’ve mastered the art of finding the worst in every situation. Congratulations! Your ability to crush dreams and expectations is truly unparalleled.

Why settle for a silver lining when you can have a storm cloud? Keep that frown firmly in place, and watch as people scatter like leaves in the wind.

5. Being judgmental.

Three women wearing denim jackets are conversing on a street in an urban area. One woman with long, wavy hair is pointing to her cheek while speaking. Trees and buildings are visible in the background, creating a lively city atmosphere.

If you always have something negative to say about everyone, don’t expect people to come near you. Constantly critiquing others’ choices, appearance, or lifestyle is a surefire way to make people avoid you like the plague. Remember, nobody’s perfect—not even you. So, lighten up and save the judgmental attitude for reality TV shows.

6. Self-absorption.

Two young women are sitting on a couch, engaged in a conversation. The woman on the left, wearing a maroon shirt, looks bored or disinterested, resting her head on her hand. The woman on the right, wearing a grey shirt, is speaking animatedly, using hand gestures.

Have you got a friend who can’t stop talking about themselves? Oh wait, that’s you, right? Self-absorbed folks have a special talent for making others feel invisible.

Your endless monologues about your amazing life achievements might seem fascinating to you, but trust us, everyone else is plotting their escape. Try asking others about their day instead. You might even learn something!

7. Cynicism.

A woman with long brown hair and a gray shirt is engaged in conversation with another person whose back is to the camera. They are standing on a city street with blurred buildings and vehicles in the background, bathed in warm sunlight.

Do you know someone who always sees the glass as half empty? It’s like they’ve got a PhD in spotting the worst in every situation.

Want to repel people faster than garlic at a vampire convention? Just sprinkle some cynical comments into your conversations. You’ll be amazed at how quickly folks scatter!

8. Inflexibility.

A man in a white T-shirt is leaning on a stone ledge and looking thoughtfully into the distance. The background features a historic, stone building with arched windows.

Stuck in your ways? You might as well be a statue. People love approaching those who are as rigid as a board, right? Wrong! Your unwillingness to bend or adapt can make others feel like they’re talking to a brick wall.

Loosen up a bit, or you’ll find yourself standing alone at parties, wondering why no one wants to chat with Mr. or Ms. Immovable.

9. Disinterest.

A woman with short hair is sitting at a table, resting her elbow on the table and her head on her hand while yawning. A person with a blurred face is seated across from her. The background includes blurred decor and a window.

You know that feeling when you’re talking to someone, and their eyes glaze over like a donut? That’s disinterest pure and simple. It’s the ultimate people repellent.

When you radiate boredom, folks will flee faster than cats at a dog show. So perk up, buttercup! Show some enthusiasm, or you’ll be left alone with your yawns.

10. Dismissiveness.

A woman wearing a gray beret and holding a paper coffee cup is speaking to another person, whose face is not visible, but their red beret is in focus. They are outside, with a blurred background of greenery and a brick building.

Are you the friend who always waves off others’ ideas? When you constantly dismiss others, you’re essentially broadcasting a message that says, “Not open for discussion!”

It’s like you’ve mastered the art of eye-rolling without actually moving your eyes. Impressive, but not exactly inviting. Remember, every time you brush someone off, a little piece of your approachability dies. RIP, social life.

11. Outright hostility.

Two business professionals sit in the back seat of a car, both holding coffee cups. They are engaged in a serious conversation. The woman is writing in a notebook and the man is gesturing with his hand. They are both dressed in business attire and wearing glasses.

If you want to create a barrier between yourself and potential friends, nothing does the trick quite like a hostile demeanor. Imagine walking into a room and immediately scowling at everyone—it’s not exactly the warm welcome people are looking for.

Your body language speaks volumes; crossed arms, a furrowed brow, and a perpetual frown send a clear message: “I’m not interested in connecting.” It’s a guaranteed method to maintain your personal space bubble.

12. Aloofness.

A man with short blonde hair and a trimmed beard is wearing a brown leather jacket and a navy shirt. He looks off into the distance with a thoughtful expression. The background is a blurred outdoor setting with trees and a building. Sunlight filters through the leaves.

You know that cool, distant vibe you give off when you’re trying to impress someone? Yeah, that’s not working. Aloofness might make you feel mysterious, but it’s really just pushing people away.

Want to be more approachable? Try cracking a smile or two. It won’t kill you, promise. And hey, maybe even throw in a friendly “hello” for good measure. Baby steps, right?

13. Being overly serious.

A young woman wearing a yellow turtleneck sweater and a backpack is holding a notebook and water bottle. She appears to be engaged in a conversation with someone whose back is to the camera. The background features an urban setting with buildings and people.

When was the last time you cracked a smile? 1987? You’re kidding me! Lighten up a little! Life’s too short to walk around with a permanent scowl.

Try cracking a joke now and then. You might just find you like looking on the bright side. Besides, approachability and a sense of humor go hand in hand.

14. Guardedness.

Two women are sitting in a brightly-lit room, engaged in a serious conversation. The woman on the right, with brown hair and wearing a blue shirt, is gesturing with her hands. The woman on the left, with blonde hair, is partially out of focus in the foreground.

Got your emotional armor on? That’s great for medieval battles, not so much for making friends. When you’re guarded, you send out a vibe that screams, “I’m not open for friendship!”

People can sense those invisible walls you’ve built. They’ll start tiptoeing around you like you’re a grumpy cat ready to pounce. Loosen up that emotional corset a bit, will ya?

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.