Spot the traitors before they strike!
How can you tell if someone in your life can be trusted, or if they’ll stab you in the back without a moment’s hesitation? If they show any of the following signs, you might want to keep your distance.
1. They’re quick to justify their bad behaviors.
When someone calls them out on their crap behavior, they always find an excuse for it. Many play the victim, claiming that they’re damaged from past traumas or going through a rough time, and so expect everyone else to accept their childishness or belligerence because that’s “just how they are”.
2. They challenge your authority at every turn.
If you’re in charge of a group get-together, they’ll undermine you. Similarly, if you work together and you’re in a superior position, they might mock you or pretend that you have no real authority over them. They seek to be king or queen of the rubbish heap at all times.
3. They break small promises.
The amount of diligence that a person puts into keeping a small promise will show you how they’ll behave if they make a significant one. If they can’t keep their word about the small stuff, you know they can’t be trusted with anything truly important.
4. They talk about you behind your back.
Finding out that someone thinks poorly of you is always disappointing, but it’s much worse when you find out that they’ve been trash-talking you behind your back—especially if what they’re saying is slanderous and untrue. Their lies may cause irreparable harm in your life if they aren’t curbed immediately.
5. They have a history of backstabbing other people.
If a person cheats with you, then they’ll cheat onyou too. This is as true in business dealings and so-called friendships as it is in romantic relationships. If this person is known for screwing other people over, you can rest assured that they’ll do the same thing to you.
6. They intentionally push boundaries to see what they can get away with.
You might tell them that your snacks are off limits, but they intentionally eat them in front of you, laughing, to see if you’ll get mad at them. Then they’ll brush it off as a joke and imply that you’re overreacting. To them, a boundary is merely a tempting challenge.
7. They lack transparency in shared affairs and/or business interests.
They keep details about important things to themselves—even if you’re working on a project together or have a shared business investment—and just tell you not to worry about it. Any attempt to get clarity about finances or details about progress will be brushed off or circumvented.
8. They keep their social network circles very separate.
None of their social groups ever intersect with one another, and they’ll go to great lengths to ensure that there’s no overlap. If you run into them when they’re out with people you don’t know, they either pretend they don’t know you well, or get hostile if you try to make introductions.
9. They’re rude to your family/partner/important people in your life.
They might make a point of being rude or inappropriate toward those close to you in an attempt to establish dominance in the situation. For example, if they attend a function with you and your family, they might flirt with your spouse, insult your mother, ask who your kids’ real dad is, and so on.
10. They constantly interrupt you.
A person who constantly interrupts you or talks over you doesn’t respect you, and a person who doesn’t respect you will have no problem betraying your trust or stepping on your neck to gain an advantage. Colleagues who do this will undoubtedly throw you under the bus for personal advancement.
11. They lack empathy.
If they find out that their actions have hurt someone, they either don’t care at all, or they find it amusing. They don’t hesitate to show whatever face is needed in order to get what they want, but none of those “faces” are real: they seem more like self-serving, hollow shells.
