9 Signs Your Partner Is Micro-Cheating (And What Does It Mean?)

What Is Micro Cheating?

A man in a white t-shirt and plaid pajama pants sits on a bed engrossed in his smartphone. Behind him, a woman in a casual dress sits with her knees drawn up, looking at him with a neutral expression. The room is softly lit by sunlight streaming through the window blinds.

Micro cheating and emotional affairs are more common than you might think. They involve small, seemingly harmless actions that hint at infidelity without physical lines being crossed. Think constant Instagram likes, flirty texts, or late-night chats with a “friend.”

And modern technology and communication is making them easier to carry out.

It’s so easy for people to connect in nontraditional ways, particularly through social media, that a platonic friendship can easily morph into an affair of the heart and mind.

Though they may never become physical, an emotional affair can be more devastating than a physical affair.

After all, a physical affair can easily be the result of bad decisions or impulsiveness.

An emotional affair, however, requires lies, deceit, manipulation, and omission of truth.

That level of betrayal can easily destroy all of the trust in the relationship.

There are some clear signs that your partner may be having an emotional affair, here are 8 of them.

1. They start acting secretive about personal electronics.

A man and a woman sit on a couch, both dressed in casual denim shirts. The woman is looking surprised while holding a smartphone, showing something to the man, who leans in with a curious expression. A bookshelf with decor is in the background.

A partner who is emotionally cheating may install a passcode on their own phone when they didn’t have one before, clear the screen or put it into sleep mode when you come near, or never let their phone out of their eyesight.

This is one of the biggest and most obvious tells that your partner is hiding something from you.

2. They are suddenly on social media a lot more.

A man and a woman are sitting at a table in a restaurant. The man is looking at his smartphone while the woman, with blonde hair, is resting her chin on her hand, gazing at him. Both have plates of food in front of them on the table.

You may start to notice they are glued to their phone lately, scrolling and tapping away. If they’re suddenly spending way more time on social media, it might be more than just catching up on memes. Increased social media activity can be a sign they’re seeking attention or validation outside the relationship. They may be engaging with someone new or rekindling old flames.

3.They’ve started using their phone in private.

A woman in a white tank top is holding a smartphone and looking thoughtfully to the side. In the background, a man is lying in bed, facing away and appearing to be asleep. The room has a dark backdrop, adding a contrasting element to the scene.

If your partner suddenly starts taking their phone calls and texts into another room, it’s time to raise an eyebrow. Using their phone in private can be a red flag, suggesting they have something to hide. Whether it’s secretive conversations or sneaky messages, this change in behavior can indicate micro-cheating.

3.They start mentioning a particular friend a lot.

A woman with long brown hair is wearing a white shirt with a black skull design and blue jeans, standing outdoors near a body of water. A man in a green shirt faces her, sitting on a bench. Street lamps and a bridge in the background. Sunny day.

They mention this person far more often than they mention any of their other friends. They may seem to be entranced by what this person thinks, how they do things, or relate an excessive number of stories about the person and you generally hear a lot about this person’s opinions.

4. They withdraw and have become critical of you.

A man with gray hair and wearing a blue plaid shirt and jeans, sits on a couch with a concerned expression. A woman with long blond hair, a white sweater, and jeans, wearing glasses, sits beside him, pointing her finger and looking frustrated. Shelves are visible in the background.

Your partner may be overly critical of you, your choices, and how you do things. This may seem like it comes out of nowhere, but it may be the result of your partner comparing you to this idealized person they are talking to.

5. They are making extra time to be with the other person.

Two colleagues having a friendly conversation at a table. The woman is holding a coffee cup while smiling, and the man is engaged in the discussion, gesturing with one hand. Both are dressed in business attire, with bright natural light coming through the windows.

This may look like needing to have more meetings, lunches, extra projects, or extracurricular activities that involve the other person. New hobbies and interests that take your partner away from the family that seem to come out of nowhere may also be an indicator.

For most people, they’ll have talked about being interested in a thing long before they actually try it. But if, all of a sudden, your partner is getting into racquetball, even though they’ve never expressed any interest in racquetball before, this is a big red flag.

6. They leave their wedding ring at home a lot.

A man with a beard and tattoos, dressed in a beige t-shirt, is taking off his wedding ring while looking away with a concerned expression. He stands in front of a bed where a woman with long brown hair, dressed in white, sits with a sad expression.

Everyone forgets things now and then, but if your partner’s ring seems to be on a permanent vacation, it’s worth a second look. A wedding ring is a symbol of commitment, so consistently leaving it behind can be a red flag. It might signal they want to appear single or avoid questions about their relationship status. If this becomes a pattern, don’t ignore it.

7. They refuse to talk about the other person.

A woman and a man sitting on a yellow couch, holding white mugs and engaged in conversation. The woman has blonde hair, and is wearing a pink striped shirt, while the man has brown hair and is wearing a light blue shirt. They are indoors with a white background.

A person who is having an emotional affair, whether they realize it or not, will try to control the information that will allow their partner to see what is going on. They may become angry or agitated when you want to talk about that person with them. They may deflect and vehemently claim ignorance. Responding with anger is a pretty large red flag that there is emotional infidelity going on. What do they have to be angry about if nothing is going on?

They may also try to push that fault back onto you, as though you have no right to ask questions about their friendship with the person.

You always have a right to ask, don’t let them suggest otherwise.