Build lasting respect through everyday behaviors!
You’ve likely noticed that some people seem to command respect from others (or at least earn it quite easily), while others struggle to be treated well. Here are 12 things you can do that will naturally make people sit up and show you greater respect.
1. Speak articulately, in an even, measured tone.
Avoid using “filler” words and sounds such as “like” and “uh” whenever possible. Although these have become common in day-to-day speech, they’re considered annoying and childish by most professionals. People generally respect those who speak clearly and eloquently, as doing so implies higher education and overall grace and dignity.
2. Behave like an adult.
Keep your emotions in check, because throwing tantrums or crying about minor issues won’t do anything except lessen you in other people’s eyes. Avoid being a “giggler”, keep laughter at a minimum, and seek to be contained and dignified in your day-to-day bearing and mannerisms.
3. Don’t behave like a clown in order to put others at ease.
A lot of people go into “clown mode” when they’re uncomfortable, and will either crack jokes, behave in a silly manner (such as making faces), or do something vulgar in an attempt to make others laugh. If you set a precedent of infantile behavior, that’s what others will associate you with.
4. Ensure that your integrity is maintained.
A person who shows their integrity through actions, not just words, can’t help but be respected by those around them. Keep your word, show up on time, don’t gossip, and ensure that you always behave in a manner that allows you to respect yourself, even when you think nobody else is watching.
5. Don’t always be available to others on demand.
If you’re in the middle of something and a person asks something of you, let them know that you’ll get to it when you’ve finished what you were doing. It’s great to help others, but you’re not an animal that should be expected to come running when others snap their fingers.
6. Ensure that you have decent table manners and general etiquette.
Most people will lose respect for someone who eats their meals like a starving hobgoblin. The same goes for people who clear their throats and spit in public, floss their teeth at their desk, and so on. Decent manners will always gain respect from others, while vulgar displays will do the opposite.
7. Establish and maintain your boundaries in a firm, but respectful manner.
It’s difficult for people to respect those whose boundaries shift and change on a daily basis, especially if they cave under any pressure. Remain consistent with the personal rules that you establish, and you’ll find that others will be much more likely to respect them (and you, by extension).
8. Bare your teeth when you need to.
It’s great to be nice, but don’t hesitate to stand up to yourself when needed. For example, if a colleague keeps interrupting you during work meetings, call them out on their unacceptable behavior and ask them to leave if they can’t remain silent when you’re speaking. Passivity encourages further disrespect.
9. Admit when you’re wrong.
If you discover that you’re incorrect in a debate or discussion, then own up to it with grace. Anyone of worth in the room will immediately respect you more, whereas those who take the opportunity to rub your nose in your mistake will lose the respect of everyone around them.
10. Don’t be overly submissive.
Acknowledging hierarchies is fine—even admirable in some circumstances—but bowing and scraping in an attempt to gain favor is undignified. If you’re given a task by a superior at work, accept it with grace and get it done, but don’t behave like a cocker spaniel baring its belly to a Rottweiler.
11. Keep intimate details about your life to yourself.
Your colleagues and acquaintances don’t need to know about the age gap between you and your partner, how often you two are intimate, or the results of your last colonoscopy. Explicit details can lessen you in their eyes, and additionally, people can use personal information as ammunition in future arguments.
12. Think of a person you truly respect, and seek to emulate them.
When you think of the people you respect most—be they celebrities, historical figures, or even your own ancestors—do you behave like they do? If not, consider what it is about these people that you respect, and adjust your own behaviors to follow the examples they set.