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If someone secretly dislikes you, they’ll do these 15 things around you

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Is someone doing these things around you?

Two businesswomen standing outdoors, both wearing light-colored blazers. The woman in the foreground has dark hair tied back and is looking seriously at the camera with her arms crossed. The woman in the background has blonde hair and is slightly out of focus.

Do you get the feeling that someone in your life just isn’t that into you? It can be tough to navigate the subtle signals of dislike, especially when they come from those you interact with regularly. When in doubt, look for these telltale signs that someone might secretly detest you, so you can better understand those puzzling interactions.

1. They talk over you.

Three people, two women and one man, are seated around a table in a modern office setting, engaged in a meeting. The table is cluttered with laptops, notebooks, and stationery. A white brick wall and office chair are visible in the background.

It’s disheartening when your voice is drowned out in conversation. If someone consistently interrupts you, it’s a clear sign they’re not interested in what you have to say. This behavior reveals a blatant disregard for your thoughts, making it evident they’d rather dominate the discussion than engage meaningfully.

2. They seek to disagree with you at every opportunity.

Two women in an office setting. One woman sits at a desk with a concerned expression, while the other woman, in a beige blazer, stands beside her, pointing at a document on the desk. The office has large windows with blinds.

Imagine sharing an idea only to be met with a barrage of counterarguments. When someone seems to thrive on disagreement, it signals that they might not appreciate your perspective. It can feel exhausting to always be in a debate with someone who should ideally be in your corner.

3. They seem disinterested in what you have to say.

Two women are seated at a desk in an office. One, with red hair, is gesturing towards a tablet in front of them, appearing to explain something. The other, with blonde hair, looks thoughtful with her hand on her head. Office supplies and a phone are on the desk.

Ever felt like you were talking to a brick wall? If someone appears disengaged during your conversations, it can be frustrating. A lack of interest in your stories or opinions suggests they’re not invested in your relationship, leaving you feeling undervalued.

4. They give you backhanded compliments.

Two people are seated at an outdoor café table engaged in an animated conversation. One person is wearing a red sweater and gesturing with hands raised. The table has notebooks, a tablet, and coffee cups. The background shows a glass building and other café furniture.

“Wow, you actually did a decent job on that!” This kind of comment can sting more than a direct insult. Backhanded compliments are a sneaky way of expressing disdain while pretending to be nice. It’s a classic tactic for those who want to undermine you without being overtly rude.

5. They have negative body language when talking to you.

A man in a blue sweater and white shirt sits at a table, crossing his arms and smiling while talking to two people. One person has blond hair and the other has dark hair. There are plants, documents, and a bowl on the table, with large windows in the background.

Trying to connect with someone whose arms are crossed and whose body is turned away is often pointless. Negative body language can speak volumes about how someone feels. If they consistently display closed-off gestures, it’s a sign they’re uncomfortable—or worse, they’re not fond of you.

6. They keep responses and conversations short.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a black shirt, sits at an outdoor café table, gesturing expressively with her hands while engaging in conversation. A laptop and a cup of coffee are on the table in front of her. Other patrons are seen in the background.

When your exchanges feel like a game of ping-pong with no real back-and-forth, something’s amiss. One-word answers and sudden topic changes indicate a lack of engagement. This kind of interaction can leave you feeling like you’re pulling teeth to get a conversation going.

7. They make subtle digs masked as jokes.

Two women are seated at a desk in an office setting. The woman on the left is focused on paperwork, while the woman on the right, seated beside a computer, appears to be glancing at her colleague. The desk is cluttered with office supplies, notebooks, and a calculator.

“You’ve got a real talent for making the simple things look so complicated!” This kind of humor can cut deeper than intended. Subtle digs disguised as jokes are a way for someone to express their dislike while hiding behind a facade of friendliness. It’s a clever tactic, but it stings nonetheless.

8. They downplay your achievements.

Two women are having a conversation outdoors near an urban overpass. One woman, with blonde hair, is wearing a blue long-sleeve shirt and has her arms crossed. The other woman, with curly hair, is wearing a red sleeveless top and dark pants, and is gesturing with her hands.

When you share your successes, do they respond with a dismissive “That’s nice”? Minimizing your accomplishments is a way to diminish your worth in their eyes. It’s like standing on a pedestal only to have someone pull it out from under you—frustrating and demoralizing.

9. They make no effort to ask about your life.

Two women are standing and engaged in a conversation. One woman is wearing a red blouse and the other is wearing a white blouse. They appear to be smiling and talking to each other naturally. The background features a light-colored indoor wall.

If someone shows no interest in your life or experiences, it’s a clear sign they’re not invested in you. Relationships thrive on mutual curiosity, and if they’re only focused on themselves, it’s worth reconsidering their role in your life.

10. They’ll try to put physical distance between you.

Aerial view of five people sitting around a wooden table engaged in a meeting. They have various devices and documents such as laptops, tablets, notebooks, and sheets of paper. The setting is well-lit, with bright, natural light from large windows.

Have you noticed them leaning away during conversations? Or sitting at the opposite end of the table during work meetings or family dinners? This physical distancing can be a subtle expression of their discomfort or dislike. It’s as if they’re trying to create an invisible barrier, signaling that they’d prefer to be anywhere but next to you.

11. They plaster a fake smile on their face.

Two women are sitting at an outdoor café, each holding a red cup of coffee. One woman, with long brown hair, is smiling as she takes a sip. They are surrounded by greenery and potted plants, creating a relaxed and inviting atmosphere.

You might catch someone smiling at you, but their eyes tell a different story. A forced smile can mask true feelings, and when someone puts on a facade of friendliness, it might just be a cover for their actual disdain.

12. They stop talking when you enter the room.

A woman with long brown hair wearing a brown shirt holds her index finger to her lips in a 'shushing' gesture, suggesting silence. She has a calm expression and is standing against a plain gray background.

Walking into a room only to be met with silence can be uncomfortable. If conversations come to a halt when you arrive, it’s a strong indicator that you’re not welcome. This awkward moment can make you feel like an outsider in your own social circle.

13. They undermine you.

A woman with dark hair in a ponytail, wearing a blue and white checkered shirt, appears frustrated and gestures with her hand. A man with a beard, dressed in a light blue shirt and carrying a shoulder bag, stands facing her, partially out of focus.

“Are you sure that’s the best approach?” If someone consistently questions your decisions or abilities, it’s a clear sign of undermining. This behavior can chip away at your confidence and shows a lack of respect for your capabilities.

14. They shift blame onto you.

A man wearing glasses and a blue shirt is pointing his finger while speaking to a woman in a white blouse and gray skirt. The woman appears to be listening intently with her hands clasped. They are in a modern, bright office with large windows and city views.

When something goes wrong, do they quickly point fingers at you? Shifting blame is a classic tactic for those who want to deflect responsibility. It’s a manipulative way to make you feel guilty while they escape accountability, revealing their true colors.

15. They compare you unfavorably to others.

A woman in a sleeveless black top gestures while speaking to a man in a white shirt in an office setting. Both are sitting at desks with computers. In the background, two other people are working at their desks. The office environment appears bright and modern.

“That’s a bold outfit choice, but I think it would suit Claire’s figure better.” Constantly comparing you to others is a surefire sign of their dislike. This behavior not only undermines your self-esteem but also shows they’re not supportive of your individuality.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.