9 Straight-Talking Reasons To Choose Marriage Over Cohabitation

What’s All The Fuss About?

A close-up of a bride and groom touching their foreheads together and smiling lovingly. The bride wears a white veil and lace dress, and the groom is in a gray suit with a black bow tie and a small floral boutonniere.

If you’re currently in a healthy and stable relationship, marriage might be something that you’re thinking about.

Perhaps your partner has brought it up in conversation, or even a helpful aunt. But you may be wondering, “Why should I get married?”

Surely marriage isn’t for everyone…Isn’t living together enough?

Of course marriage isn’t compulsory for a successful lifelong partnership. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t good reasons to tie the knot.

Because there are… several of them. And some of them might not be what you’re expecting.

Even if your relationship is already solid, here are 8 very good motives for choosing marriage.

1. The Symbolic Show Of Love And Trust

Close-up of two fingers with drawn-on smiling faces, each wearing a gold ring. In the background, a bride and groom slightly out of focus, smiling. The groom's finger has a bow tie drawn on it, while the bride's finger has a simple smile and eyelashes.

There’s no doubt about it, the biggest reason why people get married is because it symbolizes a union that is built on love and trust.

A ceremony, whether religious or secular, might include declarations such as these:

“All that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you.”

This is you, saying to your partner, “This is my very being, which is now yours too, and I trust you to take good care of it.”

What bigger demonstration of trust is there?

And when they speak in return, you symbolically (but silently) say, “I receive your being, which is now mine too, and I will take care of it, always.”

What bigger demonstration of love is there?

Even if you don’t often say “I love you” in your relationship and even if you have never directly told your partner that you trust them, a marriage is confirmation of both these things.

2. A Sense Of Finality

An elderly couple sits on a couch, cozily wrapped in a pink blanket. The man, wearing glasses and a brown shirt, points at a tablet, while the woman, also wearing glasses and a striped shirt, leans in and looks at the screen intently. Houseplants are visible in the background.

Of course people get divorced. But divorce is not the aim of marriage.

When people get married, it is in the firm belief that the bond between the two parties is permanent.

And this sense of finality is a worthwhile reason to choose marriage over cohabitation.

This is important if the marriage is taking place within the first decade of the relationship.

Sure, if you’ve been unmarried, but together for 25 years, you probably already have the feeling that the relationship is permanent.

But in that first 10 years, and especially given that many marriages happen well before this relationship milestone, it is mentally and emotionally grounding to affirm your belief in the lifelong nature of your commitment to someone.

A very important distinction needs to be made here.

Marriage is not designed to cure relationship anxiety or insecurity. It should only be considered if you genuinely believe that the union between you is strong and will be lasting.

If you are insecure in your relationship, marriage will not make any difference to how you feel.

3. Religious Beliefs And Values

A bride and groom stand at the altar during their wedding ceremony. The bride, in a white dress and veil, holds a bouquet of flowers, while the groom, in a dark suit, looks down. In the background, guests are seated attentively in a decorated church.

If religion plays an important part in the lives of you and your partner, it is understandable that you may wish to get married.

This reason may often be downplayed as unimportant by those who are not religious, but if your beliefs are that the love of two people should be recognized in marriage, it is a very good reason indeed.

Your faith is yours and no one else can diminish that.

This is not to say that you could not be happy as lifelong cohabiting companions, because if the foundations are solid, you probably could.

But if your religious beliefs and values are such that marriage feels right to you, it is certainly the right choice.

4. Tradition

A bride and groom, both smiling, stand outdoors surrounded by cheering friends. The bride holds a bouquet of flowers, and colorful confetti is being thrown into the air. The joyful group, dressed in formal attire, celebrates on a sunny day with trees in the background.

It’s no bad thing to feel that marriage is the right choice over long term cohabitation if this is what you see as being the “right” thing to do based on tradition.

This is likely to be a more important reason for people whose families have a history of lasting marriages.

If your parents have been married for decades, your grandparents even longer, and you have siblings who are married, it may simply feel like the sensible option.

Of course, you still need the foundations of love and trust, among other things, but if tradition for you means marriage and you find comfort in that tradition, then by all means make it a part of your decision to take the plunge.

5. Commitment

A smiling couple embraces in a joyful hug in a lush, green park. The man is wearing a dark suit, and the woman is dressed in a white lace garment. Both look happy and content, with sunlight filtering through the trees in the background.

You may be wondering how this differs to the sense of finality listed above. After all, committing to someone is a way of saying that you see them in your future.

But commitment is only a good reason to get married if it is something you are giving, not if you believe it proves you are receiving commitment.

Your individual decision to get married should be based on how you feel about the relationship.

Your partner’s decision should be based on how they feel about the relationship.

Your decision should not be based on how they feel.

You have to trust that they feel confident in your relationship, but you can only be responsible for your commitment. You can’t be responsible for theirs.

This ties back into insecurity. You should not rush to commit to someone for no other reason than to hope they commit to you in return.

You should feel secure in that knowledge before you even think about tying the knot.

6. Setting A Foundation For A Family

A diverse group of people sharing a Thanksgiving meal. A woman stands while serving food, smiling at the guests seated at the table, which is laden with dishes, including a roasted turkey, corn, and various side dishes. Glasses of juice and wine are also on the table.

By no means does a happy and stable family life depend on the parents being married.

But it can help.

Remember the points about finality and commitment from above. It you and your partner have made the ultimate demonstration of togetherness, it may bring confidence into a decision to have a child.

And, for some, that feeling of it being “right” to bring a child into a married household will be important.

7. Security In Case Of Death

Two women are seen embracing on a couch. One woman is crying and holding a tissue to her nose while being comforted by the other woman. The comforting woman has her arm wrapped around the crying woman, providing support and solace.

Depending on where you live and what laws you live under, an unmarried partner may already be entitled to the estate and benefits of their deceased loved one.

But if this is not guaranteed, marriage can provide a safety net in case the worst should happen.

The last thing you want in a time of grief is a legal fight over who receives what.

It’s certainly something to think about.

8. Health Insurance

A woman lying in a hospital bed with a nasal cannula and a monitor attached to her arm is talking to a male healthcare professional in scrubs, who is holding a clipboard and writing notes. The healthcare professional is wearing a mask.

In countries such as the United States where universal healthcare does not exist, marriage can give one partner access to the insurance of their husband or wife.

Whilst this may not be a big factor for some, it may play an important role in the decision for some couples to choose marriage over cohabitation.

Just check the policy thoroughly to ensure that it does actually cover you both once married. This should not be assumed.

9. Visitation Rights And Child Support

A woman sits at a desk, talking on the phone with a concerned expression, while holding a child in her lap. The desk has a laptop, notebook, glasses, and various plants. The room is brightly lit with a table lamp and decorated with plants and colorful items.

This is hardly the best reason to get married because it assumes the risk of separation or divorce.

But, for peace of mind and security, it may be a small factor in why some people get married.

After all, you don’t want to be left looking after a child, unable to work, and yet not entitled to the full level of child support from the other parent of the child who may be in employment.

Similarly, marriage might guarantee one parent’s right to see their child regularly, even if they are no longer the primary caregiver.

Depending on where you live, these things may or may not be relevant.

Finally…

A man kneels on a sandy beach, proposing with a ring to a surprised woman who covers her mouth with her hands. The ocean and a cloudy sky are in the background, creating a romantic setting. Both are casually dressed in light-colored clothing.

So there we have it. Some of the reasons may not be as romantic as others, but you could argue that the practical reasons are even more important. A life long marriage isn’t all about romance after all.