Mutual respect awaits couples who do these 18 things

1. Honor boundaries.

Two people are engaged in a conversation outdoors. The woman on the right, with long brown hair and wearing a gray sweater, is gesturing with her hands and has an expressive look on her face. The man on the left, with short brown hair, faces away from the camera.

Imagine your relationship as a garden, with each partner tending to their own plot. Respecting boundaries is like acknowledging the invisible fence between these plots—you can admire and support your partner’s growth, but you don’t trample on their space. This means recognizing that your significant other has the right to their own thoughts, feelings, and personal time. It’s important to understand that finding “we” doesn’t mean losing “me.”

By honoring these boundaries, you’re not just avoiding conflict; you’re fostering an environment where individuality thrives alongside togetherness.

2. Resolve conflicts in a civil way.

A close-up image of a couple consoling each other. The woman is looking down with a sad expression, while the man gently holds her face and rests his forehead against hers in a comforting gesture. They both have serious, concerned looks on their faces.

Resolving conflicts civilly isn’t about avoiding disagreements—it’s about handling them with grace and maturity. It means listening without interrupting, expressing feelings without accusation, and focusing on solutions rather than blame.

I remember a time when my partner and I disagreed about where to spend the holidays. Instead of letting it escalate into a shouting match, we sat down and calmly discussed our reasons. This approach turned a potential powder keg into a productive conversation.

When you approach conflicts as opportunities for understanding rather than battles to be won, you can transform potential relationship landmines into stepping stones for growth.

3. Share responsibilities.

A smiling man is ironing a pair of jeans on an ironing board in a modern kitchen while a woman, also smiling, stands next to him with her arm around his shoulder. A laptop, coffee cup, and papers are on the table in the background.

Gone are the days when household chores were solely the domain of the woman. In today’s world, sharing responsibilities is not just about fairness; it’s about showing respect for each other’s time and effort. Think of it as a team sport—both players need to contribute for the win.

This extends beyond just divvying up the dishes and laundry. It includes equally shouldering the mental load of running a household or raising children. When both partners step up, it creates a sense of equality and mutual appreciation, turning the mundane into opportunities for collaboration and growth.

4. Practice forgiveness.

A close-up of two people sitting on a couch holding hands. One person wears a long-sleeved striped shirt and jeans, and the other wears a light jacket and jeans. They are sitting closely together, providing support and comfort to each other.

Forgiveness is the balm that heals the wounds of resentment. Don’t mistake forgiveness for forgetting or condoning hurtful actions, but rather about choosing to release the grip of anger and move forward. This doesn’t mean being a doormat; it means acknowledging that we’re all fallible humans capable of making mistakes.

Practicing forgiveness involves empathy, understanding the other person’s perspective, and recognizing that holding onto grudges only poisons your own well-being. It’s a gift you give not just to your partner, but to yourself, freeing up emotional energy that can be channeled into nurturing your relationship instead of nursing old wounds.

5. Demonstrate trust.

A man and woman stand against a neutral background, looking at each other with thoughtful expressions. The man is wearing a denim shirt and has his hand on his neck, while the woman, in a white top and black hat, has her hand under her chin.

Trust is the invisible thread that binds a relationship together. It’s demonstrated not just in grand gestures, but in daily actions that show you have faith in your partner’s integrity and intentions. Maybe that means avoiding the temptation to snoop through their phone or interrogate them about their whereabouts. It’s about believing in their capabilities and supporting their decisions, even when they differ from your own.

Demonstrating trust is also about being trustworthy yourself—following through on commitments, being honest even when it’s difficult, and showing up consistently. In essence, you must create a safe haven where both partners can be vulnerable without fear of judgment or betrayal.

6. Communicate empathetically.

A man and woman are sitting indoors, talking and smiling at each other. The woman is holding a white mug, while the man is sitting on a bed. Soft, natural light is streaming in through a window, and there are lens flare effects in the image.

Empathetic communication is the art of truly hearing what your partner is saying—not just with your ears, but with your heart. You have to step into their shoes and see the world through their eyes, even if their perspective differs from yours.

This involves active listening—giving your full attention, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting back what you’ve heard to ensure understanding. It also means being mindful of your tone and body language, which often speak louder than words.

7. Express gratitude.

A couple holds hands while walking on a paved street. The man, with dark hair and beard, wears sunglasses, a long-sleeve gray shirt, and black pants. The woman, with sunglasses and long hair, wears a denim vest over a white dress. Trees and buildings are in the background.

In the humdrum of daily life, it’s easy to take your partner for granted. But expressing gratitude is like watering a plant —it helps your relationship flourish. It’s not about grand gestures or expensive gifts but about noticing and appreciating the small things. Maybe it’s thanking them for making coffee in the morning, or acknowledging their support during a tough work week.

The key is to be specific and sincere. By regularly expressing gratitude, you’re not just being polite; you’re actively reinforcing positive behaviors and creating a culture of appreciation in your relationship.

8. Validate each other’s feelings.

A middle-aged couple sits on a white couch engaged in conversation. The man, with gray hair, is wearing a white shirt, and the woman, with blonde hair, is wearing a light blue striped shirt. Shelves with glassware are visible in the background.

Validation is the relationship equivalent of a warm hug for the soul. It’s about acknowledging your partner’s emotions without judgment, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them. This doesn’t mean you have to fix their problems or change their feelings. Sometimes, a simple “I understand why you feel that way” can be incredibly powerful.

Through mutual validation of each other’s feelings, both partners feel seen and heard. This fosters deeper intimacy and strengthens your emotional bond, making your relationship more resilient in the face of challenges.

9. Show vulnerability.

A couple stands outdoors among autumn foliage. The man, in a white sweater and scarf, gently holds the hand of the woman, who wears a white sweater and a red beret. They're engaged in a quiet, intimate moment with warm sunlight filtering through the trees.

Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but in relationships, it’s a superpower. It involves having the courage to let your guard down and show your true self, flaws and all. This might mean sharing your fears, admitting when you’re struggling, or asking for help when you need it. By showing vulnerability, you’re inviting your partner into your inner world, fostering deeper understanding and connection.

It’s a reciprocal process—the more you open up, the more your partner is likely to do the same. This mutual vulnerability forges a foundation of trust and intimacy, allowing your relationship to reach new depths of closeness.

10. Practice patience.

A man and a woman sit on a couch in a bright living room, smiling and holding hands. They appear to be engaged in a cheerful conversation. The room has white walls, a floor lamp, and large windows allowing natural light to fill the space.

In our fast-paced world, patience can feel like a lost art. But it’s so important. Practicing patience means understanding that personal growth and change take time. You ought to give your partner space to evolve at their own pace, rather than expecting instant transformations. This might mean biting your tongue when they’re learning a new skill, or showing understanding when they’re struggling with a personal challenge.

Patience also involves managing your own reactions and emotions, choosing to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.

11. Support one another.

A man and woman sit closely together at a wooden table in a cozy café. The man, with short hair and a beard, is wearing a blue checkered shirt. The woman, with long, straight hair, wears a sleeveless denim jacket. Both are holding white coffee cups, smiling softly.

Support in a relationship is like a safety net—it gives you the confidence to take risks and pursue your dreams, knowing someone has your back. This goes beyond just cheering from the sidelines to actively engaging in your partner’s goals and challenges.

It might mean offering a listening ear when they’re stressed, helping brainstorm solutions to a problem, or simply believing in them when they doubt themselves. Supporting one another also involves celebrating each other’s successes, no matter how small.

12. Accept each other’s right to privacy.

A woman with folded arms looks upset while sitting on a couch next to a man who is gesturing with his hand and holding a smartphone. They are in a modern living room with a kitchen in the background.

Privacy in a relationship isn’t about keeping secrets; it’s about respecting each other’s need for personal space and autonomy. This means understanding that your partner doesn’t need to share every thought, conversation, or experience with you. It also reflects the fact that you trust them to maintain appropriate boundaries with others and you won’t demand access to their personal communications or belongings.

Accepting each other’s right to privacy also involves being mindful of oversharing about your relationship with others. By respecting privacy, you’re demonstrating trust and acknowledging that healthy relationships involve two whole individuals, not two halves of a whole.

13. Share decision-making.

A young couple sits on a gray couch in a cozy living room. The woman, with short blonde hair and wearing a yellow top and jeans, leans on the man's shoulder. The man, in a gray shirt and jeans, holds a laptop on his lap. They both smile while looking at the screen.

Shared decision-making is the hallmark of an egalitarian relationship. It involves recognizing that both partners have valuable insights and perspectives to contribute, whether you’re deciding on a major life change or just what to have for dinner.

Every decision need not be a drawn-out debate. Instead, try to create a culture where both voices are heard and valued. It might involve taking turns making decisions, finding compromises, or deferring to the partner with more expertise in a particular area.

14. Be reliable.

A young couple sits on an empty paved surface outdoors, leaning against each other. The man, with a beard, wears a denim jacket over an olive shirt. The woman, with long hair, wears a black leather jacket and white sneakers. They appear content and relaxed.

Reliability is the unsung hero of strong relationships. It’s about being someone your partner can count on, day in and day out. This means following through on your commitments, big and small, from remembering to pick up milk on the way home to being there during life’s major challenges.

Being reliable also involves consistency in your behavior and emotions, creating a sense of stability and security in the relationship. You have to show up, not just physically but emotionally and mentally as well.

15. Behave like an adult.

A man and woman sit at a cafe table, each with a cup of coffee. They are engaged in conversation, and the woman is smiling warmly while resting her head on her hand. The background shows a modern, minimalistic interior with shelves and a TV screen.

Adulting in a relationship goes beyond paying bills and doing laundry; it’s about emotional maturity and taking responsibility for your actions. This includes avoiding childish behaviors like sulking, giving the silent treatment, or throwing tantrums when things don’t go your way. Instead, you must address issues directly, manage your emotions, and be willing to compromise.

Behaving like an adult also means taking initiative in the relationship—not waiting for your partner to fix problems or read your mind.

16. Ensure actions match up to words.

A woman with light brown hair rests her head on the shoulder of a man with short brown hair. They are standing close to each other, with the woman looking off into the distance. The background is blurry and appears to be an outdoor setting, possibly near water.

Words are beautiful, but actions are the true poetry of relationships. Ensuring your actions align with your words is about integrity—being true to your promises and following through on your commitments.

Perhaps that means planning that romantic getaway you’ve been talking about, or consistently helping with household chores instead of just saying you will. Being mindful of the gap between what you say and what you do—and constantly striving to narrow it—will do wonders for the respect your partner feels for you.

17. Admit when you are wrong.

A close-up of a couple standing forehead to forehead with their eyes closed, creating an intimate and serene moment. The background is softly blurred, capturing a warm and gentle light. Both are dressed casually in light-colored clothing.

Admitting fault is about having the humility to acknowledge your mistakes and the courage to take responsibility for them. This doesn’t mean being a pushover or always assuming you’re in the wrong. Rather, it’s about honest self-reflection and valuing the health of your relationship over the need to be right.

When you admit you’re wrong, you’re not just resolving a conflict; you’re modeling vulnerability and honesty, encouraging a culture of openness in your relationship. It’s a powerful way to show respect for your partner and demonstrate your commitment to personal growth.

18. Accept your flaws and those of your partner.

An elderly couple sits on a bench under a tree, looking up and smiling. Both are casually dressed; the woman wears a dark jacket and jeans, while the man has on a blue denim shirt and khaki pants. Behind them, there's a colorful wooden building and greenery.

In the quest for perfection, it’s easy to forget that flaws are what make us uniquely human. Accepting your own flaws and those of your partner is about embracing the reality of human imperfection. You don’t have to ignore serious issues or enable harmful behaviors; instead, you must simply understand that everyone has quirks and shortcomings.

This might mean learning to laugh at your partner’s terrible puns instead of rolling your eyes, or being patient with their forgetfulness. It’s also about being gentle with yourself, recognizing that you too have rough edges.