12 Traits Highly Skilled Manipulators Look For In Their Victims

These traits make for an ideal target.

A woman with long brown hair tied back in a ponytail with a pink hair tie is shown in profile against a turquoise background. She is looking downwards and wearing an off-the-shoulder white top. The image has a soft and serene feel.

Highly skilled manipulators, narcissists, and those who prey on others tend to look for very specific traits in their victims. Such traits make these people easier to bend to the manipulator’s will. Those on this list are some of the most common.

1. Low self-esteem.

A black and white close-up portrait of a person looking slightly to the right. The face is partially shadowed, highlighting the person's intense, wide-eyed expression. They have short hair and are wearing a light-colored collared shirt. The background is black.

A person with low self-esteem is an ideal target for a manipulator. They know that this individual has likely been mistreated by others all their life and doesn’t have a high opinion of themselves. By being kind, flattering, and even affectionate, they can make their victim dependent upon them for positive reinforcement.

2. Empathy.

A woman with shoulder-length auburn hair gazes pensively into the distance in a dimly lit room. The soft lighting creates shadows on her face, highlighting her thoughtful expression and serene demeanor.

Those with high degrees of empathy don’t just want to help others whenever they can—they’re suckers for a sob story if a person seems to be down on their luck. Manipulators and narcissists prey on empaths because they’ll bend over backwards for other people’s needs, and feel bad if they don’t.

3. Low social standing.

Close-up of a person with a beard, appearing to be in deep thought or concern. They rest their chin on their hand, with fingers partially covering their mouth. The background is dark and blurred, drawing focus to the person's contemplative expression.

A person who’s currently unemployed or unhoused is in a perfect position to be taken advantage of and manipulated. For example, a person who’s desperate for a place to live will often endure atrocious hardship and sick social games for the sake of a clean bed and regular meals.

4. Naivete (or lack of life experience).

A woman with long brown hair lies on a bed, staring directly at the camera. She is dressed in a white shirt and surrounded by white pillows, with a calm expression on her face. The overall atmosphere is serene and relaxed.

Those who have a trusting nature due to innate naivete or lack of life experience might as well paint targets on themselves. Skilled manipulators are drawn to them like wasps to nectar. They will prey upon them until they have nothing left to give, and are grey husks of their former, effervescent selves.

5. Self-sacrifice.

Two people hug warmly on a sunlit street. One person has sunglasses resting on her head and wears a dark sweater, while the other wears a striped shirt. Cars and trees are visible in the blurred background, giving a sense of a peaceful, urban setting.

Those who willingly sacrifice their own happiness and wellbeing to ensure others are happy and cared for are a manipulator’s paradise. These giving souls will deplete themselves for other people’s benefit, and perpetually feel that they’re not doing enough; a perspective that will be used to great effect by their tormentor.

6. People-pleasing tendencies.

A woman in a business suit is sitting at a desk in an office, looking at her laptop with excitement. She has a big smile and is giving two thumbs up. The background features office shelves and plants.

Those who revolve their personalities around others’ wants and preferences are perfect victims here. Not only are they desperate to be loved and appreciated, but they’ll tamp down their own wants and preferences for the sake of making others happy. There’s no give and take necessary with a partner like this: just take.

7. Conflict avoidance.

Two people with long hair, one in a blue shirt and the other in a black top, are standing side by side near a body of water. Both are gazing into the distance with a calm expression. The background is slightly blurred, showing the shoreline and a cloudy sky.

Those who are desperate to avoid conflict or confrontation will tolerate all kinds of terrible behavior. They don’t like the discomfort, stress, or emotional upheaval that comes with defending boundaries or speaking up about mistreatment, so they’ll take whatever manipulation and abuse is flung at them, without defense or reciprocity.

8. Rejection sensitivity.

A close-up of a man with a beard and a furrowed brow looking downward. The lighting casts an orange hue on one side of his face, highlighting his contemplative or serious expression. He is wearing a black shirt and the background is blurred.

People who have been rejected by those they’ve cared about, or are terrified of losing loved ones for various reasons, will do just about anything to keep these folks in their lives. Manipulators love this trait, as they know they can get away with just about anything without any consequence.

9. Worries about what other people think.

A man with short curly hair and a beard sits on a couch, resting his elbow on his knee and his head in his hand. He is wearing a green t-shirt and appears to be deep in thought or stressed, with a worried expression on his face.

A person who’s terrified about others potentially thinking negatively of them will do all they can to ensure that they’re well thought of. As such, a toxic person who’s targeting them only has to imply that others will judge them poorly, or that secrets will be made public, to bend them to their will.

10. Perfectionism.

A bearded man sits at a desk, intently looking at a computer monitor. His hands are clasped near his mouth in concentration. He is in a bright office space with shelves, plants, and other items in the background.

Those who strive for perfection in every aspect of their lives are often easy to victimize because they have unrealistic expectations of themselves. A manipulator simply has to imply that their victim is incapable of doing or achieving something, and they’ll throw themselves into that pursuit to prove them wrong.

11. Overly submissive behavior.

Two people stand near the ocean on a sunny day. The person in the foreground with curly hair, eyes closed, wears a gray sweater. The person in the background, with light hair and a scarf, looks at the first person. The sea and clear sky are visible behind them.

People who grew up in abusive situations, or who otherwise had to become very meek and submissive in order to survive, are ideal victims for manipulators and narcissists. They’ll simply do as they’re told without question, taking the orders and abuse that are served, without any complaint or defiance.

12. Vulnerability.

An elderly man with white hair sits alone on a wooden park bench, looking pensively to the side. The park is bathed in warm sunlight, with trees and more empty benches lining the path. The brick walkway beneath him adds to the serene environment.

A person who’s elderly, disabled, neurodivergent, or infirm due to illness, is sadly an ideal victim for those who prey upon others. They’re often dependent upon their caregivers, and if they don’t do what their abuser wants, their safety—or their life—is at risk. That’s a huge motivating factor for tolerating mistreatment.