Life Is Hard
Life is hard. There’s no doubt about it. But hard doesn’t have to mean unhappy, despite how contradictory that might seem.
If you’re seeking a happier life, asking yourself these 17 questions will set you on the path to achieving it.
1. Is my life unnecessarily stressful or drama fuelled?
Everyone should examine the different areas of their life to see which are causing unnecessary stress and drama.
That could be toxic people that you’ve outgrown, a bad job with a difficult boss, or personal issues that need to change.
It’s impossible to live a perfectly stress-free life. Life will always have its ups and down. What is possible is to separate yourself from negative people and situations that hinder more than help.
2. Am I holding on to any anger, regret, or guilt?
Life is challenging for everyone, though some of those challenges can be greater than others. It’s helpful to stop and examine the anger, regret, and guilt that you hold on to and consider if it is time to let it go.
These are things that can follow a person for their entire life if they do not make an active effort to process the emotions so those feelings can stop weighing heavily on their shoulders.
3. Are there people in my life who leave me drained?
People are not always meant to be there for life. As we grow and life moves forward, friends and even family can fall away as we all follow our individual paths. Sometimes that’s just the natural progression of things.
Other times, we may be faced with an unpleasant choice because someone we care about is incessantly negative and is a drain on mental and emotional energy.
It is impossible to have a happy, healthy life when you are surrounded by people who leave you feeling drained and unhappy.
4. Do I get enough time away from devices and social media?
Social media and electronic device usage are both tied to an increase in mental health issues including depression and anxiety.
It’s so important to step away from electronics regularly to ensure the mind is getting a healthy dose of the rest of life. People need face-to-face socialization, sunshine, and regular exercise to be happy and healthy.
Responsible use of electronic devices and social media can be a boon to one’s life, but excessive use can cause many problems.
5. Do I have healthy coping mechanisms?
Life throws us positive and negative experiences. The positive experiences are something that we can simply enjoy in the moment as we move forward. The negatives, however, can stick around and cause many problems for one’s mental health and quality of life.
Healthy coping mechanisms for navigating stress, grief, and trauma are essential for processing negative events and continuing to move forward in life. They are skills that you will use for the rest of your life.
6. Am I able to love myself, “warts and all”?
Do you truly love yourself? All the good and bad? All of the things that make you the unique individual that you are?
The journey of self-love is long and winding, but it brings with it peace, happiness, and confidence once you’re able to accept all of your pieces.
People like to bury their negative and avoid it so that it cannot hurt them, but in doing so they avoid the growth and love that comes from healing.
7. Am I working toward being the best version of myself?
Self-improvement is about crafting yourself into an ideal version of you. There are a lot of self-help gurus and books out there that want people to subscribe to their way of thinking, to be more like them.
Though you can use other materials as guidance, each person needs to figure out what it means to be the best version of themselves.
That may mean working on physical and mental health, it may mean working to improve one’s personal or professional life. The answer to that question is as unique as you are!
8. Am I settling in areas of my life where I should be reaching?
There are a lot of people who confuse not experiencing anything bad with being good. That neutral, flat experience of nothing bad but nothing good is a sure way to grow bored and restless.
People who have had a lot of bad in their life often confuse a lack of good or bad as a positive thing, but it’s not. That neutral space does not provide something that every person needs – fulfillment.
Does that mean everyone should just up and flee their leaves for potentially greener fields? No. What it does mean is that we should take stock and ensure that what we have in our life provides a positive benefit; that we aren’t stagnating in neutrality.
9. What am I avoiding in my life right now?
Avoidance is a waster and killer of the most valuable resource you have – time. You only get twenty-four hours in each of your days, and only so many days in your life. Once they pass, they’re gone.
People waste so much time avoiding responsibility and confrontation because it’s uncomfortable for them. The problem is that meaningful progress is accomplished in a place of discomfort.
One must strive to confront and make an active effort to overcome their challenges instead of avoiding them.
10. Do I have a mental image of my future self?
Who do you want to be in the future? Where do you want to be in the future? A strong mental image of your future self can help you plan the appropriate route to success.
Even if you can’t define a clear image of the far future, you can aim within the next couple of years to get you moving on your path.
11. Am I doing what I truly want to be doing in life?
People often find themselves pushed by the expectations of their friends, family, and society. That doesn’t necessarily coincide with what is actually right for you. No one other than you can decide what is best for your life.
One should stop and periodically take stock of their personal goals, life, and direction to make sure that these things are in line with what they actually want for themselves.
You can’t live the dreams and aspirations of someone else and expect to feel happy, accomplished, and content.
12. Am I living true to myself, my beliefs and my values?
People are often influenced by those around them. It can cause them to grow distant from who they actually are, what they believe in, what they hold to be true. This can cause discomfort and unhappiness.
Grow too distant from your core values and you may find that you are leaving an important part of yourself behind.
13. Do people see me differently than I see myself?
Though it is bad to shape yourself to meet the expectations of other people, it is worth examining if there are any discrepancies in one’s personal view of themselves versus how others perceive you.
The reason is that healthy relationships are typically based on trust and communication. If there is a discrepancy, it likely indicates that there is some problem with trust or communication.
Perhaps the person doesn’t feel comfortable being their authentic self. Perhaps one or the other is not clearly communicating who they are and their expectations.
It doesn’t mean you need to change to meet expectations, but it may help establish greater trust and rapport which will provide a positive benefit in your life.
14. Am I saying the things that need to be said?
There are times to be and not be silent. Avoiding conversations that need to happen is a fast track to failed relationships and unhappiness.
A lot of people avoid uncomfortable conversations because they don’t want to rock the boat or be seen as the bad guy.
Sometimes you have to risk it. Sometimes there needs to be an argument to get to the bottom of the truth and work out a reasonable solution.
15. Do I have strong enough boundaries?
People can be complicated. They are rough and abrasive, sometimes without compassion and unkind.
At times, they are also people we call friends and family members. Perhaps they don’t offer the kind of support or kindness that we would hope they’d offer.
While it would be nice if people would strive to be kinder or more understanding, it’s not something we should expect. Personal development of one’s boundaries makes it much easier to shrug off the negativity, preserve one’s mental health, and keep moving forward.
16. Is there anything within my power that would make me a happier person?
All too often we look past necessary changes that we need to make in our life to bring ourselves greater happiness or contentment.
It’s easy to fall into a rut when you’re grinding through the monotony of life, whether it’s keeping up with family, work, or school.
If you’re not feeling happy, is there anything within your power that you can change? Can you shake up your routine or have some new experiences?
Don’t let your life, and your happiness, pass you by. Take action now, before it’s too late.
