10 Behaviors That Make Other People Uncomfortable Around You

Are you unknowingly making others uncomfortable?

Two women are seated at a wooden table in a modern café with large windows. The woman on the left is wearing a red sweater and smiling, while the woman on the right, in a brown jacket, is gesturing with her hands as she speaks.

As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Even if our intentions are good, sometimes the behaviors and habits we exhibit around others can make them feel uneasy, and this can lead to misunderstandings and awkward moments that could have been prevented. Here are 10 behaviors that you should avoid if you want to have positive interactions with people around you.

(Note: If you’re autistic, ADHD, or both (AuDHD), you might inadvertently do some of these things because that’s how your brain is wired. You should not feel the need to change who you are or mask behaviors that are natural to you. And if you’re reading this but you’re not autistic or ADHD, growing your awareness of these behaviors and the reasons for them will help you understand them better when you encounter them.)

1. You give too much or too little eye contact.

Two women are sitting at an outdoor café, each holding a red cup of coffee. One woman, with long brown hair, is smiling as she takes a sip. They are surrounded by greenery and potted plants, creating a relaxed and inviting atmosphere.

While eye contact is an important part of any conversation, it is crucial to find a balance regarding how much eye contact you give without making the other person uncomfortable. Too much eye contact can make someone feel like their personal space is being invaded, or that they’re being interrogated. On the other hand, too little eye contact can give off the impression that you don’t care about what the other person has to say. By finding the perfect balance, you can show that you are genuinely interested in the conversation while giving the other person some breathing room.

2. You interrupt others in conversation.

Two women are seated in a cozy café, engaged in a lively conversation. The woman on the left, with curly hair and glasses, is gesturing animatedly with her hands. The woman on the right, with long, blonde hair, is smiling and holding a tablet.

When you’re talking with your friends about something you love, sometimes you’re so excited that you can’t help but jump in before your friend has finished. If you often to do this, it can come across as rude and disrespectful and make the other person feel dismissed or undervalued. Before you chime in, listen to what they have to say, and wait for a natural pause so you know when it’s your turn to speak.

3. You’re constantly checking your phone.

A woman with short brown hair and a yellow dress sits at a table, looking frustrated, while a man with short brown hair and a blue checkered shirt sits across from her, absorbed in his smartphone. Two cups of coffee and a sugar bowl are on the wooden table.

Technology and social media have taken over almost every aspect of our lives, so it is no surprise we find ourselves constantly glued to our screens. But if you are regularly checking your notifications or scrolling through social media during a conversation, it can make the other person think you’re not interested or that you’re ignoring them. Next time you catch yourself reaching for your phone during a conversation, put it down and see what the difference it can make.

4. You offer unsolicited advice.

A man with a serious facial expression and arms crossed stands in an office, listening to a woman holding documents. The woman, seen from behind, is engaged in conversation with him. The office setting includes shelves and industrial-style lighting.

When a loved one confides in you about their feelings or about an issue they are currently experiencing, it’s normal to want to help them by offering advice that you think would best resolve their problem. However, giving your opinion when it’s not asked for can come off as condescending to the other person. If you want to give advice, wait until they ask you for it first. Or, at the very least, ask them if they would like your input.

5. You do not respect personal space.

Two women are outdoors, interacting and smiling. One holds a tablet while the other gestures with her hand. Both have light hair, and the background shows buildings and faint sunlight. They appear to be having a pleasant conversation.

Just like everyone enjoys their morning coffee a particular way, everyone has their own comfort level when it comes to how close or far away they like people to be, physically. When you stand or sit too close to someone, you could cause them discomfort without even realizing it. To prevent this, ask the other person what their boundaries are when it comes to personal space and make an effort to respect them.

6. You are too negative.

Two men in business attire sit at a desk cluttered with paper and documents. The man on the left gestures with a raised hand, appearing to dismiss or reject something. The man on the right holds a pen and tablet, engaging in a discussion.

Everyone has good days and bad days. But if you find yourself constantly complaining, criticizing, or being extremely negative, this could drive other people away. A negative attitude can not only drain the energy from a conversation, but make other people feel self-conscious or uncomfortable. You don’t have to completely shove your negative feelings away, but it could be beneficial to focus on the bright side of things instead.

7. You display negative body language.

Two women are sitting on a gray couch with their arms crossed, facing away from each other. One wears a yellow shirt and glasses, the other wears a white shirt. The background features a green wall with framed pictures. They seem upset or in disagreement.

Negativity isn’t only shown in your words; it can also be seen in how you present yourself around others. Subtle signs like crossing your arms, rolling your eyes, or frowning can give other people the impression that you’re not a friendly person to be around. To make yourself look more welcoming to others, try to incorporate some open and inviting body language into your conversations, such as standing up straight or smiling.

8. You overshare.

Being honest and transparent is an important quality to have, especially during conversations with others. However, if you’re not careful, you can take openness too far. While sharing things about yourself can help build connections, spilling all your thoughts and feelings without considering how the other person may feel about it can create awkward moments that make both parties uncomfortable. Remember to think before you speak and consider whether the information you want to share is too intimate or inappropriate in your conversation’s context.

9. You dominate the conversation.

Three women sitting at a table with drinks and desserts. The woman on the left appears indifferent, the woman in the middle is animatedly talking, and the woman on the right looks annoyed, resting her head on her hand.

It’s understandable that if a friend or a coworker is sharing a funny or embarrassing moment with you, you would want to contribute a similar story of your own to relate to them. But if you find yourself talking excessively, talking over others, or only talking about yourself during a conversation, this could make other people feel disrespected, unheard, or overshadowed. Instead, take a step back by allowing others to share their perspective and actively listen to what they have to say.

10. You’re too clingy.

Two women seated at a wooden table in a café are enthusiastically greeting each other. One woman, wearing a brown plaid cap and jacket, has an expressive smile and raised hand. The other woman, wearing glasses, mirrors the gesture. A smartphone and notepad are on the table.

Making new connections is a natural thing to be excited about, but there is such a thing as being too excited. Coming across as overly available, or trying to talk to someone every moment of the day, can make them feel suffocated and pressured to speak with you out of obligation, not because they want to. Always try to respect the other person’s boundaries, and remember that just because they’re not talking to you doesn’t mean they don’t care about you.