14 Brutally Honest Reasons Selfish People Live Much Happier, Healthier Lives

Selfishness Gets A Bad Rap

A woman with dark hair tied back stands with her arms crossed, wearing a maroon sweater over a gray shirt. She stands outdoors in an urban setting with a wire fence and modern buildings in the background on a sunny day.

From the moment we’re old enough to listen, selfishness is drilled into us as a terrible trait. We’re taught we must share, think of others first, and essentially neglect our own needs.

People who are selfless and self-sacrificing are lauded as some sort of superior, almost god like beings.

But are they actually happy? Successful? Healthy? Probably not.

And here’s why. These are just 14 of the many reasons being selfish will actually improve your life.

1. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

A woman with brown hair is shown resting her face in her hand, appearing distressed or tired. She is wearing a white shirt, and the background is blurred, indicating an indoor setting with indistinct objects.

It’s a common saying used to promote self-care, but it really is true.

If you are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, how do you expect to be of any service to others?

You can try to help others and work yourself into the ground, but the value of your input diminishes along with your personal well-being.

In other words, if you’re not looking after yourself, you can’t look after others.

So selfishness – the good kind – is necessary in order to make a positive contribution to society and the lives of the people around you.

2. You avoid resentment.

A woman is slicing oranges at a kitchen counter while looking at a man who is adjusting his tie. The counter is filled with breakfast items, including coffee cups, croissants, and oranges. The kitchen is modern with white shelves and a brick wall.

How do you feel after you have given your all for somebody else?

That will partly depend on how thankful they are and if they ever return the favor.

But it also depends on whether you make self-care a priority.

If you have gone above and beyond in order to help someone, but you feel run into the ground as a result, you’ll likely be filled with resentment.

If, on the other hand, you set reasonable limits on the amount you are able to give, you will hold on to the warm feeling that comes from being of services to others.

Some self-sacrifice is often a good thing. Just don’t take it to extremes.

3. You’ll have time to work on your health.

Two people wearing black workout clothing are doing yoga on mats indoors. The woman in the foreground is lying on her stomach with her hands clasped, while the man in the background is seated and stretching. The space appears calm and minimalistic.

You know what it’s like when you’re run ragged trying to take care of everyone else… you let your own care suffer.

You eat more junk food, you exercise less, and you don’t check in with how YOU are feeling.

As soon as you start to be a little bit more selfish, you create time and space to work on your health.

You can make nutritious home-cooked meals.

You can follow an exercise regime or play sports you enjoy.

And you can do things that nourish your mind.

4. You can develop your skills.

A person with short red hair is meticulously sculpting a clay pot on a table in a pottery studio. The individual is dressed in a white, long-sleeved shirt and surrounded by various pottery tools and shelves filled with pottery items in the background.

It can take a long time to become good at something. It takes practice and perseverance.

If you are forever giving up your time to other people and causes, you won’t have time to develop the skills that matter to you.

You won’t be able to learn new things or improve the ways in which you do certain tasks.

You will struggle to excel at something if you aren’t able to dedicate some time to practicing it.

So selfishness is necessary for self-improvement.

5. You can follow your goals.

A woman with dark hair in a ponytail, wearing a white shirt and green apron, kneels in an outdoor area with dirt ground and metal fenced enclosures. She is petting two dogs, one light-colored and one brown. Sunlight filters through the trees, casting dappled shadows.

As with skills, goals do not achieve themselves. They require grit and determination… and time.

You can’t expect to make progress toward your goals if you are too busy serving the needs of other people.

By ring fencing a proportion of your time to spend working on yourself, you can maintain steady forward movement in the direction of your goals and dreams.

This has other benefits too. You will feel more satisfied with your life and more motivated to help others when you can see the things you aspire to getting ever closer.

6. You’ll have more time for self-reflection.

A man with brown hair and a beard sits at a wooden table by a window, writing in a notebook. He is wearing a gray shirt. A glass of a dark beverage sits on the table, along with other items like books, a bread roll, and various kitchenware in the background.

It’s important to check in with ourselves from time to time in order to ensure we are living the kind of life we wish to lead.

Self-reflection allows us to examine how we feel about what we are doing now so that we can adjust our efforts to focus on the things that are of greater importance.

This could be assessing our goals and aspirations to make sure they are still a good fit for us.

It could be asking where we can be of most help to others so that we spend more time on those things.

Or it could be identifying things that we don’t wish to do anymore.

7. You’ll realize your independence.

A woman with a serious expression, wearing a dark trench coat and a red striped shirt, stands in an urban setting with a defocused background featuring a graffiti-covered wall and distant buildings. The sky is clear and bright.

When you are wrapped up in the lives of others, it can be hard to see and value your own independence.

When you take a step back, you’ll realize just how capable you are of looking after yourself.

And when you remember how independent you can be, you’ll appreciate it all the more.

You’ll start to take better care of yourself and you will feel more confident in your abilities.

You’ll feel more comfortable being alone and won’t seek to fill every waking moment with solving other people’s problems.

8. You’ll be more resilient.

A woman with long, dark hair is smiling at the camera. She is wearing a mustard yellow top and is outdoors with a blurred background, likely an urban setting. The image exudes a friendly and approachable vibe.

Part of being selfish is looking after yourself. By doing so, you’ll be in a better position to deal with the setbacks of life.

We all face times that are either painful or difficult or both. If you are well-rested, generally happier, and have a handle on your main duties, you’ll feel better able to cope with such setbacks.

Selfishness also means you are more willing to forego other commitments in favor of getting through the difficult times you face.

You won’t be overburdened by responsibilities and will have a little breathing room that you can use to address whatever issues crop up.

9. You’ll increase your self-worth.

A man with short brown hair and a beard, wearing a grey shirt, is looking directly at the camera while wearing white earphones. The background is blurred, suggesting an outdoor setting with urban elements. The lighting is soft, coming from the left side.

The worth you see in yourself and the amount of time you spend working on/for yourself are directly connected.

And it’s a two-way relationship.

Yes, if you have high self-worth, you are more likely to properly care for yourself.

But the very act of taking care of yourself and making yourself a priority increases your self-worth too.

So being selfish means recognizing that you are a person who is worthy of your own care and attention. You don’t have to give it all to other people.

10. You won’t live by the expectations of others.

An older man with white hair and glasses is engaged in a serious conversation with a younger man with a beard. They are sitting on a gray couch in a well-lit room, facing each other, with the older man gesturing with his hands.

When you are entirely selfless, you give away control over the type of life you lead.

You are always at the beck and call of other people and thus you live by their expectations of you.

Equally, you may not wish to disappoint important people in your life – primarily your parents or partner – and so you do what they want you to do.

You follow a career path they set out for you, you dress how they want you to dress, and you act how they want you to act.

A little selfishness is good in these instances. Instead of falling in line and obeying their wishes, you can pursue things that are important to you, not them.

11. You’ll choose quality over quantity.

Four adults, two men and two women, stand around a kitchen island preparing a meal. One man is pouring wine into a glass. There are various bowls of salad, bottles of oil, and vegetables on the counter. The group appears to be enjoying each other's company.

Are you suffering from FOMO – the fear of missing out?

So many invitations to do things and go places. So many people to keep happy.

So you say yes to everyone and everything because you think that’s what you should be doing.

But half the time you aren’t that keen on doing the thing or seeing the person.

In fact, you just want to stay at home with a good book or TV series.

Well, being selfish allows you to do that. It gives you confidence in your ability to say no.

It allows you to focus on the quality of the things that you do say yes to, so that you get the most enjoyment out of them.

12. Your relationships will benefit.

A couple embraces outdoors, smiling warmly. The woman is wearing a denim jacket, and the man has a light denim shirt layered under a red and white checkered blanket. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a peaceful and sunny rural setting.

As has already been established, if you are always giving to other people, you have little left for yourself.

And if you are running on empty, you will not be able to maintain the bond that is so vital for relationships to remain strong and healthy.

In fact, you’re more likely to snap at others and generally be grumpy toward them.

So, as counterintuitive as it sounds, a little selfishness can actually be good for your relationships.

You will be better company to be around, you will have the energy to partake in proper conversation, and you will feel more caring and loving.

13. You will be more productive.

A man in a white shirt is intently working at a desk, holding a compass over architectural plans or blueprints. He is focused and appears to be in an office with glass walls and modern lighting in the background.

When you take care of yourself, you are better equipped to do all of the things you need to do.

When you don’t stretch yourself too thin with commitments, you can really focus on those that you do make.

So you will be more productive in all things.

At work, you will be able to get on with the job at hand whilst also thinking about your future career.

At home, you will be able to take care of your family without neglecting yourself.

You will actually get more done by being selfish than you would if you weren’t.

14. You will require less care from others.

A caregiver with red hair smiles and leans over a seated elderly woman in a wheelchair. The elderly woman, wearing glasses and a white shirt, looks up at the caregiver. They are outside in a garden setting with trees and a building in the background.

If you spend your entire life involved in the concerns of others, there’s a good chance that you will need someone to take care of you.

Burning yourself out in the services of other people will make you more susceptible to physical ailments and mental health concerns.

At the very least, you will find yourself venting your troubles and frustrations onto those close to you.

So you have to ask yourself whether this is what you want. Do you want to burden a loved one because you are trying too hard to be all things to all people?

The answer you’re looking for is “no.”