Are You The Happy One?
In any group of people – be it friends or family – there always seem to be those who are genuinely happier than others.
If you’ve ever looked at these people and wondered what they do that makes them so happy, here are some ideas for you (and if you haven’t, then you are probably the happy person that everyone else is looking at).
The truly and deeply happy people among us probably have many or all of these habits in their lives, and by understanding each of them, you can start implementing them in your own life.
1. They Don’t Avoid Issues When They Arise
When life presents us with an issue or some other unwelcome event, there is little happiness to be found in avoiding it or skirting around the edges. Very few issues will resolve themselves without some action on your part, and when you refuse to take this action, the associated clouds of negativity will remain hanging above you.
A happy person will face an issue with a determination to find a resolution to it, knowing that once it has been dealt with, the weight it carries will be lifted and happiness will once again ensue.
2. They Don’t Fear Or Resist Natural Change
We, as human beings, are not fixed identities. Instead, we are ever evolving in terms of our physical, mental, and spiritual characteristics. If you try to resist this change or live in fear of it, your happiness will be stifled.
But, if you accept and even embrace this natural process – as happy people have a tendency to do – then you release yourself from the underlying anxiety that uncertainty over the future may bring.
One thing that you have to remember is that even when change seems bad, it is quite often good; it only appears bad because it is unfamiliar to you.
3. They Seek The Silver Linings From The Bad
No life is free from its ups and downs, but when the bad times hit, the person who is able to look for and find the good in a situation is the one who will be most at ease and most happy.
So while it may be all too easy to fall into despair or have some other negative reaction to an event, if you can uncover some crumbs of good that might come out of it, you can more quickly find peace with what has happened.
4. They Find Wonder In The Little Things
Life may seem mundane to many, with the somewhat repetitive nature of our everyday lives filling our time and our minds. Look a little closer, however, and you’ll come across moments and things that can fill anyone with a sense of wonder and awe.
Forging a habit whereby you actively seek out these little things is something that comes naturally to happy people.
5. They Take Note Of The Signs Telling Them To Slow Down
Sometimes we all take on a little more than we should do and it’s common to feel a sense of dread at the prospect of trying to meet all of your commitments. While some people will try to persevere and battle through to completion, a happy person will observe their body and mind and listen to what it is saying.
If the signs are telling them that they risk a burnout then they will act upon these and scale back their obligations and find a balance in their life. One way they do this is to ask for help which, as we talked about above, is a sign of mental strength. What they don’t do, however, is ignore the symptoms of overwork as this rarely ever promotes good mental health.
6. They Are Patient
‘Good things come to those who wait’ is a variation on an old English saying, most famously used by Heinz to advertise their ketchup, but there is certainly some truth in it.
Being patient is something that can have a dramatic effect on the pleasure and happiness you receive from an item or event. Delayed gratification is one embodiment of this premise and there is abundant scientific literature to support the claims that showing patience by passing up smaller wins now for the prospect of bigger wins later is linked to many positive physical and psychological outcomes.
That’s not to say that good things will always come to those who simply wait for them to happen. Instead, good things most often come to those who lay the foundations with specific groundwork and planning. When they then reap the rewards of this, they will experience even greater joy than those who receive the same reward without putting in the equivalent level of work.
7. They Don’t Apportion Blame To Others
When things do go awry, a happy person will not seek to blame other people for it. They know that if they want to take the plaudits when good things come their way, they also have to take responsibility when they have acted in a manner that has seen them, or someone else, come to harm.
Laying the blame at another’s door is an act that very much comes from the ego, while accepting the consequences of one’s actions shows a maturity that naturally comes from the higher self.
8. They Don’t Try To Save Or Change Other People
Regardless of the good intentions involved, when you attempt to change another person, the result will rarely be one of happiness on either your part or theirs. In your mind, you may be trying to save them from a situation they find themselves in, but unless they, too, believe there is a problem, they may well end up resenting your actions.
Sometimes you may be trying to help someone just because they do not meet your expectations. If you want to nurture yours and their happiness, you should keep the previous advice about choosing who you spend time with in mind and think carefully about your future relationship.
Happy people realize that you can only live the life you have been given and not those of others.
It is, of course, a different matter if someone asks for your help because they have reached the point at which they admit to themselves that they need it; at this point you can counsel them. You may even benefit from the stronger bond that we discussed earlier.
9. They Don’t Overthink Things
The moments and events that happen throughout our lives exist in a reality that is quite different to the ones that we are often guilty of creating in our minds. So many of us suffer from busy mind syndrome and this causes us to corrupt the past and present with thoughts that are fabricated entirely from thin air.
Overthinking is a vicious plague that has infected much of the population and it can be difficult to free the mind from. Happy people tend not to suffer it quite so much.
10. They Have People Or Passions That They Cherish
We once more turn to the work of Viktor Frankl to discuss the importance of having people to love or causes that you are passionate about in your life. According to Frankl, these are the two primary routes to finding meaning which will directly impact your underlying sense of happiness.
Without a sense of meaning, you are more likely to face regular bouts of unhappiness, so finding a source of meaning that you can tap into is a sure fire way to provoke positive feelings.
11. They Practice Acts Of Kindness
There is a virtuous circle linking happiness and kindness and it’s one that has been shown in more than one scientific experiment. You may think that being happy makes you more kind and this is true, but the causality can go both ways. In other words, being kind can make you happier.
If you can uncover the chance to perform one act of kindness each day, then regardless of how big or small they may be, it can leave you feeling more buoyant about life in general. Try it out and see the difference it makes.
12. They Acknowledge That They Are Precisely Where They Ought To Be On Life’s Journey
When we think about the future, we typically consider our expectations of life in the next month, year, decade, or even longer. But when that future becomes the present and our expectations have not been met, the response is usually to berate life and claim an injustice.
Happy people, on the other hand, are more flexible in their expectations – one might not even call them expectations at all, but rather wishes or dreams. When things don’t turn out as they had wanted, they don’t feel that wrong has been done by them. Instead, they realize that wherever they are on life’s long journey, it is the place they need to be at this time, for good or bad.
12. They Don’t Carry A Self-Image Around With Them
Many of us are so concerned with what other people think that we hide behind a fictional image of our self that we carry around and project whenever we are in the company of others. It might seem like a sensible approach; after all, it’s much harder to feel hurt when you are putting on an act.
The downsides of portraying this fake self, however, are much more damaging to your overall happiness. Pretending to be someone else requires large amounts of energy, it prevents closeness, it suffocates creativity, it prevents natural instances of joy, and much more besides. Happy people forego the mask and are willing to just be themselves and accept that they won’t be to everybody’s liking.
13. They Are Honest With Themselves
Along with not projecting a fake image of themselves to the world, happy people tend not to try and fool themselves, but are, instead, honest about the their thoughts and feelings.
When you try to pull the wool over your own eyes, the delusion does not create the necessary conditions in which true, long-lasting happiness can thrive. Instead, you have to fight to repress things and this eats away at any happiness that does manage to grow.
14. They Have Strategies And Support Networks For The Hard Times
Happy people face dark times in their lives too, but one thing they also do is prepare for them. Not only will they build a network of people and organizations to which they know they can turn, they prepare mentally too by learning some of the most effective coping strategies.
This proactive approach is in stark contrast to those of us who fall upon hard times without any forethought about how we might turn things around. Again, it partly comes back to being willing to ask for help, but there is also an element of acceptance that bad things do happen and that it is naive not to have some sort of plan for them.
15. They Are Generally Upbeat About Everything
While optimism and pessimism may seem like characteristics of our personalities that are relatively fixed, there is growing evidence to suggest that you can change where you sit on the scale through concerted effort.
Optimistic people tend to be happier people in the long run, so if you can adjust your outlook on life to one that is generally more positive, then you will be better placed to nurture happiness.