People who suppress their emotions display these 10 revealing behaviors

Emotions can be a tricky thing.

A woman with blond hair, wearing a white shirt, expresses intense fear or panic. Her eyes are wide open, and mouth agape. She holds her head with both hands against a muted background.

In an ideal world, we’d just be able to feel what we need to feel so we can process our experiences and move forward in healing and growth.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in that world. Instead, we get things like:

“I don’t have time to be sad! I have to go to work!”

“Suck it up, cupcake. Everyone has problems.”

“No one cares anyway. So why should I bother?”

And so we bottle up our emotions, for whatever reason, because life is moving forward, and we can’t just stop. Also, people can be jerks about it.

The problem is that negative emotions don’t just disappear. Instead, they get packed away in a tiny little box somewhere in your brain. Every time you suppress an emotion, it gets stuffed in the box. The more you stuff those emotions away and don’t process them, the fuller the box gets until it’s bulging at the seams. And then what happens? It finally breaks open, of course. And it opens up a whole host of other problems too.

So how can you tell if you, or someone you love, is bottling up emotions rather than handling them in a healthy way? If you see these 10 signs, it’s the former.

1. Unhealthy coping mechanisms.

A person with blonde hair peeks over the top of a laptop, which is placed on a wooden desk. The background features a patterned wallpaper. An old-fashioned black telephone and a black desk lamp are also on the desk.

How do you actually deal with your emotions? Or do you at all? Some people cope by heavily engaging themselves in other activities, so they just don’t have to think about it.

They may drink, abuse drugs, throw themselves into exercise, lose themselves in their work, or drown out their thoughts with chores and busy work. They may be the kind of person who simply doesn’t sit still because they start thinking and feeling their emotions when they have downtime.

2. Broken sleep schedule.

A man with short, graying hair and a beard lies under white sheets in bed, wearing a gray t-shirt. He looks directly at the camera with wide, blue eyes, appearing contemplative or startled. The lighting casts a greenish tint on the image.

The stress of unresolved emotion can be a catalyst for disrupted sleep. The person may experience insomnia, irregular sleep patterns, or sleep far too much. After all, you aren’t feeling those emotions if you’re asleep.

3. Increased depression, anxiety, and stress.

Unresolved emotions cause a lot of stress, which trickles down into worsening mental health. Depression and anxiety are common. People with trauma or mental illnesses may find that they have a harder time with their symptoms.

Though we mention depression and anxiety, it is worth noting that we mean lower case “d” depression and lower case “a” anxiety. Not everyone who experiences these problems actually has a specific disorder. Sometimes, just dealing with those suppressed emotions can be enough to cause those problems to recede.

4. Getting sick often.

A woman wrapped in a blanket is sitting on a couch, holding a tissue to her nose with one hand and her forehead with the other, appearing unwell. Another woman is sitting next to her, offering a glass of water and looking concerned.

People who are under stress often tend to get sick more often. When you are under stress, your body creates a hormone called cortisol which helps you deal with the stress. The problem is that people are not built to live in stressful conditions long-term.

The long-term production of cortisol can have a dramatic effect on your immune system and mental health. Just imagine if you had a fire alarm in your house ringing 24/7. That’s similar to what cortisol does in your body.

5. Avoiding confrontation.

Three men are seated at a desk, engaged in a discussion. One man on the left is talking and gesturing with his hand. The man in the middle and the one on the right are listening attentively. A laptop, notebooks, and stationery are on the desk.

People who avoid confrontation may be suppressing their emotions. Humans are moody, messy creatures. Sometimes you end up butting heads, even with people you like and respect.

There’s nothing wrong with a little conflict. In fact, conflict is necessary and healthy. Relationships and bonds are often strengthened in the recovery period after a conflict.

But someone who is suppressing their emotions, who doesn’t want to rock the boat, may not be speaking their mind or telling the truth. They avoid confrontation, so they don’t have to expose themselves.

6. Extraordinary emotional outbursts.

A woman with long dark hair and wearing a denim jacket looks annoyed and upset, clenching her jacket. Behind her, another woman with light brown hair and wearing a grey coat appears to be angrily shouting. The background is outdoors and blurred.

A person suppressing their emotions can be like a carbonated bottle of soda that’s been shaken up. They are under such emotional pressure that they blow up with the slightest amount of conflict or provocation.

They suppress their emotions to the point that they just explode into anger or drown in overwhelming sadness whenever those emotions finally do surface.

7. Difficulty in expressing emotions.

A man with a worried expression rests his head on one hand while a woman stands behind him with a concerned look, gently placing her hand on his shoulder. They are in a bright room and both appear to be in a serious conversation.

A person who is neglecting their emotions can lose touch with how to properly express them. It’s like playing a musical instrument. If you don’t practice and keep practicing, you’re going to get rusty and lose some of the knowledge that you’ve been building.

The more you suppress your emotions, the harder it gets for you to express them, which causes you to suppress them more, which makes it harder for you to express them, and so on. It’s a vicious downward spiral that only leads to stress, depression, and anxiety.

8. Isolation or feeling lonely.

A woman with short brown hair stands near a beach, looking slightly to her right with a thoughtful expression. She wears a dark coat over a blue shirt, with the ocean in the background under a cloudy sky.

People are social creatures. Some more than others. We have certain needs that are fulfilled by interacting with others. But bottling up your emotions can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness because you may not feel understood by the people around you. And if you’re not feeling understood, you have a wall up between you that prevents you from being meaningfully connected.

Other times, you may actually be pushing people away, because to express your true feelings would be to show vulnerability, which requires the ability to actually express and process your emotions.

9. Digestive issues.

A woman with long brown hair sits on the floor in a bathroom. She is wearing a white tank top and colorful plaid pajama pants. She appears distressed, with her head tilted down and one hand holding her stomach, the other holding her head.

Stress and unresolved emotions can play havoc with your digestive system. As a result, you may have stomach cramps, diarrhea, bloating, or constipation. This will also cause problems in other areas, like weight gain and loss, because your body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to be doing with the fuel you need to function.

10. Regular headaches for no reason.

A man is sitting on a couch, looking distressed. He is wearing a grey t-shirt and is holding his hand to his forehead, appearing to have a headache or be in deep thought. The background is blurred, with neutral-colored cushions visible behind him.

Some people will experience regular headaches for seemingly no reason, but the reason is actually the stress and hormone production that comes with bottling up your emotions.

Finally…

A man with short, styled hair and a beard gazes to his left. He is wearing a white shirt and standing outdoors with a blurred background of greenery and soft sunlight.

If you recognize these signs, there’s a good chance you’re suppressing your emotions and that it’s already taking its toll on you. Continued unchecked the end result is likely to be physical and mental health problems that could have been avoided if you had just dealt with those feelings when you had them. Suppressing emotions raises stress levels, which can throw off the chemical balance in your body, cause anxiety and depression, as well as a host of other issues.

Before things get worse, take action. It’s time to use some healthy strategies to release these emotions. Seek support from a friend, family member, or even better, a trained professional if you don’t think you’ve got the tools to do this alone.