12 Phrases To Use When Someone Tries To Make You Feel Inferior

Sometimes, you have to take a stand and say something when someone is putting you down.

A woman wearing a red shirt is sitting at a table, gesturing with her hand and appearing to be in an intense conversation with another woman who has blonde, curly hair and is wearing a light pink shirt. They are both indoors near large windows.

Insecure people often try to make others feel inferior in order to make themselves feel better. Although this can be hurtful at times, there are ways to effectively counteract someone’s attempts to put you down.

Keep in mind that use of the following phrases needs to be contextual, e.g. if the situation is online versus in person, or if the individual involved is someone who could potentially harm your job security, and so on. Use your best judgment, and adapt or merge these as you see fit.

1. “Can you explain that to me?”

A woman in business attire, wearing glasses, looks directly at a man with an intense expression, while pointing her finger. Another man, also in business attire, sits beside her, appearing surprised. The background is white, creating a clean, professional setting.

This one works really well if what they’ve said was particularly offensive, whether it was racist, misogynistic, or ableist. When asked to explain why they said what they did, they’ll generally either say “never mind”, or backtrack and imply that you’re being oversensitive and that it wasn’t a big deal.

2. “Yes, and?”

Two people sit at a white table in a modern, minimalistic kitchen, having a conversation. A man with short dark hair holds a mug, wearing a light blue shirt over a white tee. A person with curly hair is seen from the back. A smartphone and décor are on the table.

Using a phrase like this makes it abundantly clear that you’re aware of whatever they’re trying to put you down about, you don’t give a damn about their opinion, and do they actually have a point to make? Once they realize that their comments aren’t going to affect you, they’ll slink off.

3. “Those are very brave words coming from you.”

A man in a suit sits at a desk with his hands covering his face, looking stressed. A woman in a suit next to him gestures with one hand and rests the other hand on his shoulder, appearing concerned. Open notebooks and coffee cups are on the table.

This implies that they’re in absolutely no position to be condescending or awful toward you at all. Think of the idiom about people who live in glass houses not throwing stones. They might ask you what you mean by that, but you can just shake your head disapprovingly and walk away.

4. “X must be so proud of you.”

Two women having a serious conversation at an outdoor café. One woman, dressed in a red jacket, is gesturing while talking, and the other woman, with her back to the camera, listens. Each has a cup of coffee in front of them. Trees and buildings are in the background.

A phrase like this is best if you know who this person holds in high regard, or cares about deeply. For example, if someone was very close to a now-departed parent, commenting on how said parent would be utterly disappointed in their very existence can silence them quickly.

5. “It’s amazing that you’re comfortable saying that out loud.”

Three men appear to be in a heated discussion in what looks like a modern office setting. One man on the left gestures with open hands, the man in the middle looks concerned, and the man on the right points his finger, seeming defensive. Sunlight streams through large windows.

This line can be immensely effective if you deliver it in a completely deadpan voice, with no emotion whatsoever, and then go back to whatever it was you were doing before they said it. Don’t interact with them again if they try to continue the conversation: simply pretend that they aren’t there.

6. “Does that make you feel better about yourself?”

A man and a woman are sitting on a bed in a bedroom. The man, dressed in a blue shirt and gray pants, appears to be gesturing and speaking with a serious expression. The woman, wearing a light-colored cardigan and pants, looks away, appearing upset or thoughtful.

Calling someone out on their poor behavior toward you can be construed as aggressive, so be aware that responding with this may lead to escalation. That said, it lets the person know that you’re perfectly aware why they’re saying such obnoxious things, and they aren’t fooling anyone by implying otherwise.

7. “You were bullied as a child, weren’t you?”

A blonde woman in a navy blazer is sitting at a table with two men. She appears to be mid-conversation, gesturing with her hands, showing an intent expression. The men are listening attentively. The background is a bright room with some potted plants.

Most of the people who were mistreated by others in their youth end up bullying others when they get older. In fact, some get into positions of authority intentionally and then abuse their positions of power to “get their own back”. This puts the spotlight back on them and their poor behavior.

8. “I didn’t quite catch that—can you repeat it?”

Two men are in an office with large windows. One man stands, wearing a light blue shirt and blue tie, gesturing as he talks. The other man, sitting with his back to the camera, listens attentively. A coffee cup and documents are on the desk in front of them.

Some folks make offhand remarks with the intention of making others feel inferior, but they aren’t likely to repeat themselves if asked—especially if others are around to hear them behave like a jerk. Keep asking them to repeat their mean comment like you didn’t hear it and they’ll back off.

9. “I don’t tolerate being spoken to that way.”

A man and a woman are having a heated argument outdoors. The woman, wearing a black blazer, is pointing her finger and appears to be speaking angrily. The man, dressed in a grey blazer, looks confused and is gesturing with his hands.

Make it abundantly clear to them that you won’t tolerate their poor behavior, and follow that up with action if need be. If it’s a family member, go no-contact for a while to show them you’re serious. Similarly, if it’s a coworker being disrespectful, file a complaint with HR.

10. Turn their attack back onto them.

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a denim top, sits on a sofa, gesturing with open hands while talking to another woman with blonde hair in a striped shirt. They are in a cozy living room with a lamp, framed pictures, and a plant in the background.

This one is entirely contextual. If someone insults your appearance, for example, it’s likely a projection about their own self-loathing. So, if Debbie from accounting asks how someone your age doesn’t know how to do her own nails, ask her how someone her age doesn’t know how to put down a fork, and so on.

11. ((LAUGH)).

A person with shoulder-length wavy hair laughs heartily while holding their chest and stomach. They are wearing a short-sleeved denim dress and standing on a city street with buildings and a bus in the background.

One of the most effective ways to deal with someone who tries to make you feel inferior is to show them that their words don’t affect you at all, and you find their pathetic attempts amusing. Look them up and down, and burst into the most authentic laughter you can muster.

12. Say nothing at all.

A young woman with long dark hair, wearing a light gray t-shirt, sits on a couch looking upset, resting her head on her hand. In the blurred background, a man sits on another couch, facing away. They appear to be in a tense or reflective moment.

Sometimes, the best response is no response whatsoever. People who try to make you feel inferior want a reaction from you. If you simply look at them for several seconds and then get back to what you were doing, their attempt fizzles, and they’ll look like a jerk if they try again.