12 Characteristics Of People Who Will Always Let You Down

Don’t think you can rely on people like this – you can’t.

A person with light brown hair is wearing sunglasses, looking at the camera with a slight smile. They are outdoors on a sunny day, and there are trees and a walkway in the blurred background.

If there are people in your life who have let you down in the past, you may be kicking yourself for not noticing their glaring red flags well in advance. Hindsight is 20/20, but if you can spot these characteristics in people around you, then you can brace yourself for the inevitability that they’ll do you wrong sometime in the future.

1. They overuse terms like “bro” or “friend” instead of your name.

Four men are standing together outdoors by a fence, near a basketball court. One man is holding a basketball, and they appear to be engaged in friendly conversation. The weather is sunny with a clear blue sky. They are all dressed in casual athletic wear.

People who try to be overly familiar when they first meet you are instantly suspicious. Watch out for those who refer to you as their “bro” or “friend” when you barely know them, and avoid using your given name. Either they’ve forgotten it already, or they don’t respect you enough to use it.

2. Any problem is always someone else’s fault.

A person with shoulder-length dark hair stands in front of a stone wall, wearing a black, sleeveless top and a beaded necklace. They look off into the distance with a thoughtful expression.

When they tell you about issues they have with others in their social circle, those issues are always someone else’s fault. They never own up to the part they may have played in difficult circumstances, but are instead always hard done by because of someone else’s actions, bias, or unfairness.

3. Continual, malicious one-upmanship.

Four people are standing and chatting against a brick wall. One person is talking with hand gestures, while the others are listening and smiling. They appear to be enjoying a conversation in a casual indoor setting.

Is this person constantly trying to one-up you, and being condescending or malicious as they do so? Then it’s important for you to be on your guard. Playful competition between friends is great, but a person who’s perpetually trying to put you down will eventually let you down.

4. An inability to meet personal commitments.

A person with short brown hair wearing an orange sweater is standing against a light blue background. They have a worried or nervous expression with wide eyes and a grimacing mouth.

They’ve got a new hobby every week, but never seem to finish anything. If they make a plan to do something, some calamity like a health issue or personal drama will mysteriously arise to derail said plans. Note that if this person lets themselves down, they’ll let you down too.

5. They’re deceitful.

A man with a goatee and short hair stands outdoors, looking at the camera with a serious expression. He is wearing sunglasses pushed up on his forehead. The background is blurred with trees and a clear blue sky.

If this person is relaying the same story to different friendship groups, the story will magically change every time they tell it. They’ll brag about their achievements but have no proof to support their words, and they might even go so far as to cheat or steal from others and lie about it.

6. You’re always the one reaching out, as they put no effort into doing so.

A woman with reddish-brown hair sits on the grass, leaning against a tree. She is wearing a white long-sleeve top, orange pants, and blue shoes, and holds a smartphone in her hand. She looks pensive and deep in thought.

A person who puts no effort into keeping in touch with you isn’t going to put any effort into keeping their word to you, or showing up when you need them. Difficult circumstances aren’t the only situations that show people’s true colors: simple everyday interactions (or lack thereof) can also speak volumes.

7. They’re quick to get emotionally overwhelmed by things.

A young woman with long blonde hair poses against a pink background. She looks slightly to the side, with her hands near her face and wears a peach-colored sweater.

How often does this person freak out at seemingly small setbacks or annoyances? Do they break down at the first sign of trouble, or retreat to a blanket fort for several days when they get upset? If so, then you know they won’t step up and stand by you when you need them.

8. A lack of self-discipline.

A man with dark hair and a beard is sitting on a gray couch, wearing a brown jacket over a striped shirt and blue jeans. He is drinking water from a glass. The table is messy with pizza, empty cans, and bottles around. There are exposed brick walls in the background.

If they’re hungry and there’s pizza on the table, they’ll help themselves without asking permission first. This doesn’t only show a lack of basic courtesy, but also that they can’t control themselves. A person doesn’t have to be a samurai or monk, but they should display some base standard level of self-discipline to be respected.

9. There’s always a whirlwind of drama around them.

A close-up photo of a person with long hair, partially illuminated by soft light. The light casts shadows across their face, highlighting one cheek, part of their forehead, and lips. The background is dark, creating a dramatic and introspective mood.

Their life is never calm, but is instead a perpetual whirlwind of drama. If they aren’t fighting with their partner, then they’ve run into debt or lost their job “for no reason”. They might even be homeless because they didn’t pay rent on time and their horrible housemates didn’t pay it for them.

10. They don’t have close friends who speak highly of them.

Young man with short hair and a mustache gazes into the distance against a sunlit orange wall with leaf shadows. The warm light creates a serene and thoughtful atmosphere.

Most of us have at least a few friends who would be willing to speak to the quality of our character. Not these folks: they don’t have close friends who’d say anything good about them, even under duress. The best they might be able to do is avoid the discussion entirely.

11. All their exes hate them.

A woman in a white coat stands in the foreground, covering her face with her hands. In the background, a man in a tan coat stands with his hands in his pockets. They are in front of a large, arched brick wall. The scene appears to be emotionally charged.

There’s always something suspicious about a person whose entire dating history is full of “crazy people”. What, not one of them remained a good friend after the breakup? If this person’s exes all despise them, that’s a crystal clear sign that they can’t be trusted, and may be more unhinged than you realize.

12. They can’t hold down a good job.

A man wearing a beige t-shirt and jeans is sitting on a dark blue couch with pillows, holding a remote control and staring straight ahead with a neutral or slightly displeased expression. The background is plain beige.

They may have many great employment experiences on their resume, but none have lasted very long. Sure, they may be bright and competent and have had excellent opportunities, but they’ve dropped the ball countless different ways and have rarely lasted more than a few weeks or months at any job they’ve gotten.