Do You Give Up Too Easily?
You start the year off with a list of things you want to do – there’s a new hobby that has caught your eye, or perhaps you want to transition your career in a new direction.
After a few short weeks, though, you’ve lost interest.
The good news is, you’re in good company. But why?
Are we all just a bunch of lazy people unable to achieve goals or sustain interest?
It’s not quite that simple.
So, what could possibly be the reason you’re struggling to maintain interest?
1. The goal is too big/daunting/far away.
Your goal is just too big and thinking about it makes you feel inadequate. In fact, just thinking about each small step necessary makes you feel overwhelmed.
Sure, other people have accomplished it before, but they probably had a leg up or some kind of special skill or something. There’s no way a regular person like yourself could ever accomplish such a feat.
Though achieving the goal would be awesome, accomplishing it is beyond your scope of imagination. It’s less a goal and more like a dream at this point.
2. You’ve lost sight of the big picture.
Why were you doing what you were doing? You’ve lost sight of the big picture and can’t remember. It’s not like you’re suffering from amnesia or something. You simply became too caught up in the process, and you’re unable to remember your ‘why.’
Staying motivated can be a difficult task when you’re focusing on day-to-day activities. When you forget your goal was to become proficient at playing the guitar, it’s hard to practice every day.
3. Life happens.
Does it ever seem like life is conspiring against you to stop you from pursuing your goals or enjoying your hobbies? It’s like one emergency, obligation, or issue comes right after another. You barely have a minute to yourself as life keeps on happening in quick succession.
Before you know it, you’ve ignored your goal or hobby for so long the only evidence you were ever interested in it is when you stumble on the unused equipment you bought at the outset.
4. You struggle to form the necessary habits.
Learning something new or breaking bad habits requires a new set of habits that keeps you focused until you reach your goal. If you cannot self-govern, you’re not likely to hit your goal or any goal for that matter.
Discipline is required to change our behavior. Let’s say you want to run a marathon at the end of the year. That requires not only physical endurance but discipline and commitment for you to put in the hours of preparation time needed to run long distances.
We often lose interest because we realize the cost of our goal is much higher than we want to pay. You might want to run a marathon but aren’t willing to wake up by 5:30 AM, five to six days a week to go for a run to do it.
Your habits will determine whether you can stick with something for a long period.
5. You have poor time management skills.
We all have 24 hours in a day. But not all of us manage that time effectively. At the end of the day, have you ever wondered where all the time went? Have you ever lost a whole day in front of the television or on social media?
It’s not that you don’t have enough time in the day to commit to your new goal or skill, it’s that you waste a large portion of your day on unproductive activities. Ultimately, what you spend your time on shows what you truly value.
6. You expect your emotions to keep you motivated.
Part of the reason you enjoy your hobbies so much is that it’s fun. But expecting every minute of it to be full of excitement and pleasure is unrealistic. Every activity has an aspect of it that’s just not so wonderful.
Think about it. What activity do you do that you enjoy every single minute of it? There is likely something about it you don’t really like.
Our minds can be easily distracted. When we’re doing something that is not as fun as we would like, we tend to lose interest and move on to other things. The thought of crossing the finish line of a marathon with friends and family cheering you on might sound like a lot of fun. But the miles spent building up endurance by yourself in the heat, cold, and rain to run a marathon isn’t.
Your emotions will eventually fail you and aren’t enough to help you stay motivated.
7. Things are often harder than they look.
Anything worth having or doing will require some effort on your part. Knitting a beautiful, chunky blanket for frosty nights might seem like a simple enough hobby to start, but it requires a lot of patience and many hours to complete. You haven’t felt disappointment until you’ve felt the disappointment of realizing that you lost a stitch a few rows back.
Some hobbies give a false impression of being easy. At least it does for the newbies who have never tried it before. It’s only after you’ve gotten into the activity that you fully grasp the complexity involved.
Dancing may sound easy. After all, what else is required besides shaking your body to the rhythm of the music? But those of us who have two left feet can assure you that dancing is much harder than it looks.
Underestimating how hard a skill is to learn or how difficult a hobby is will drain your enthusiasm quicker than you think.
8. You strive for perfection.
For whatever reason, some of us believe we’re geniuses and should automatically be good at any activity we try. If we suck at it on our first few tries, we abandon it immediately. We hate looking less than perfect.
For example, you’ve been trying to learn how to play the guitar for a while, but because you don’t have the natural ability of Jimi Hendrix, you give up on it.
The struggle for perfection is sapping your enjoyment of the activity. You are not giving yourself room to make mistakes and to learn from those mistakes.
9. You’re not committed for the long haul.
Logically, we know learning a new skill or changing a habit will take a lot of time. It took you a long time to put on the extra weight, so it will take a long time to lose it.
Learning how to play the guitar will take a few months (if not years), but daily practice for that same period is hard to commit to.
While we may think we’re committed to our goals and/or hobbies, when it comes down to being committed to the hard work that is required, we’re not. At least we’re not committed to the hard work for the long haul.
10. You underestimate the effort required.
Have you ever tried ice skating? It looks effortless, doesn’t it? Even children do it, so how hard could it actually be? If you ask someone who has tried to ice skate and fallen repeatedly, you’ll find out that ice skating isn’t as easy as it looks.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Nothing worth having comes easy.” That holds true for activities we are trying to learn as well. Even babies struggle when they’re learning how to walk. There is nothing you want to do, have, or learn that will not require some effort from you.
11. You’re exhausted.
You have a lot on your plate and are physically and mentally tired. Between work, play, school, and life, you have little energy left over for anything else. You barely have any time to think, let alone take up another activity.
Though you would love to achieve your goal, you just don’t have the time or energy to do so. You’re already running on empty. There’s nothing more left for you to give.
12. You are afraid.
We’re all afraid of something. Some fears are so deeply rooted we don’t even know they’re there. We don’t realize we’re self-sabotaging our success because of hidden fear.
For example, you really, really want to travel. It will take a lot of saving and planning, which you’re ready to do at work and home. But you put off booking your flight, delay taking time off, and spend the money for the trip on another “emergency.”
Something keeps getting in the way of you taking the trip you’ve always dreamed of. Something is holding you back.
That something you’re unable to define or describe is most likely fear. You think you will fail, so you don’t try. You’re worried your success will change you, so you sabotage yourself.
13. You’ve overanalyzed/over-prepared.
You’ve thought a lot about your goal, researched it, watched videos. For every risk associated with your interest or goal, you’ve evaluated and thought about it twice.
In fact, you’ve analyzed it so much that when discussing it with others, they think you’re some sort of expert on the subject.
The problem now is you’re over-prepared, where you have so much information you can’t decide. Or you’re stuck in a state of perpetual training.
As you finish one training, you see another area you need to learn more about. So you sign up for another program. You’ve convinced yourself that you’ll get started once you know enough.
The problem is you’ll never know enough for you to feel comfortable taking the leap. You are trapped in analysis paralysis, where you cannot decide because of overthinking.
14. You’re doing too much.
You’ve got a lot going on. There are so many things you want to do, and you want to do it all at the same time. You’re trying to overhaul your entire life all at once. Instead of taking it one step at a time, you want to lose weight, start a new hobby, start a business, save money, run a marathon, and start baking all at once.
While there is nothing wrong with any of your goals or hobbies. Trying to start everything at once is essentially setting yourself up for failure. Don’t forget that you still have your other life responsibilities to worry about.
With so many things to do, you are sure to work yourself into exhaustion where you can’t physically keep up with everything.
15. You feel unworthy of the end goal.
You know it’s possible. Maybe you’ve even seen other people do it. Deep down inside, though, you don’t believe you can do it. You don’t believe you’re pretty enough, smart enough, have enough resources, or whatever to achieve your goal.
So, while you think it would be awesome to go back to school, start exercising, or learn how to play the guitar, you ultimately believe you’ll fail at it.
Deep down you don’t believe you deserve better than what you’ve got.