How To Feel Physically Attractive Again: 12 Tips That Work

12 Ways To Get Your Spark Back

A woman with short red hair stands outdoors, smiling while adjusting her hair with both hands. She is wearing a gray shirt, surrounded by green leaves and sunlight filtering through the trees. The background is softly blurred.

‘Feeling physically attractive’ is such a tricky achievement for most people, and women in particular seem to struggle to feel good about themselves and their physical allure.

We’ve got some great tips on how to feel good about yourself again and how to harness your desirability as a woman.

Some of them may seem very straightforward, but they’re very worth doing – regularly.

The more you make feeling attractive a habit, the more likely it is to become your natural state.

1. Show yourself some love.

A woman with her hair tied back in a ponytail is seen from behind, looking at herself in a large mirror. She wears a white tank top and gazes at her reflection with a thoughtful expression. The background features a white wall and a decorative element.

Easier said than done, of course!

This is more of a state of being than an end destination, so don’t expect a huge change overnight.

Learning to love yourself takes a long old time, but it’s important to go through the motions and start getting used to the idea.

Feeling physically attractive again can take some time, but you can start with telling yourself you love yourself.

Compliment yourself on things you like about your mind, your personality, your body.

Whatever you like about yourself deserves to be celebrated, and you’re in a great position to do that!

You can start each day with a mantra, reminding yourself how important and amazing you are. Look yourself in the mirror and acknowledge who and how you are. Tell yourself you love yourself, respect yourself, and want to achieve amazing things.

You’ll get used to hearing it and will soon start to believe it and feel better about yourself in every aspect.

2. Have a pamper day.

A woman and a man in white bathrobes are reclining on white lounge chairs in a spa, appearing relaxed. The background features modern white and red decor and additional empty lounge chairs.

Picture every movie montage centered around a breakup – there’s always a pamper day involved at some point, and for good reason.

Treating yourself to nice things will leave you feeling really good, and make you feel valued by yourself.

When we’re busy, we often neglect to show our minds and bodies some love and attention.

It can be something small, from taking a longer shower and just enjoying being warm and smelling good to cooking your favorite breakfast and having a delicious, slow morning coffee.

Show yourself how much you matter and do something nice for yourself. Get your nails done, grab a lovely cocktail, and spend the day honoring yourself as the goddess you are!

If you can find someone to feed you grapes, even better.

3. Hit the gym.

A woman with a ponytail, dressed in a tank top, holds up a red boxing glove while a man with a trimmed beard and short hair, wearing a black shirt, adjusts it in a gym setting. The background shows a blurred view of gym equipment and a large window.

Many people – women in particular – work out as a form of punishment or maintenance.

They think, “I had carbs at lunch so I have to burn it off,” or, “If I don’t work out today, I’ll gain weight.”

Not only is this very damaging as a culture in general, it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself!

Exercise is amazing in so many more ways than weight loss and muscle growth. It releases endorphins which make us feel really good.

Getting to the gym may not seem that attractive while you’re sweating it out, but the feeling afterward is so good and lasts a surprisingly long time.

You’ll love working out for your mental health and positivity rather than as a form of punishment.

In turn, you’ll tune in to your inner desirability – you’ll feel great for taking some time to yourself, and satisfied with how much your body can do, physically.

This links back to you giving yourself some time and focusing on what makes you feel good, which then makes you love and respect yourself more – leading to you feel physically attractive again.

4. Buy an outfit you love.

A woman with short, light-colored hair stands on a wooden balcony overlooking a resort with white buildings, palm trees, and distant mountains. She wears a black and white striped dress and touches her face with one hand, looking thoughtful.

Again, this is a bit of a movie-montage suggestion, and it requires a bit of budget…

…but it’s worth it!

Find an outfit that makes you feel good and respect that it may not look like what you had in mind.

There’s nothing worse than putting pressure on yourself to find a slinky black strappy dress and realizing you don’t want to show certain body parts.

Instead, try on a range of styles and outfits and see what feels good.

You’ll end up finding something that makes you feel amazing when you look in the mirror and you’ll want to wear it all the time!

If you’re not sure what to go with, take a close friend along. They’ll know what suits you and can push you to try things you might normally avoid.

Keep the outfit for a special occasion or hit the town for a night out. Either way, find something that makes you feel seductive and fun… and enjoy the process!

5. Get some perspective.

A woman with shoulder-length brown hair concentrates intensely while looking at a smartphone in her hands. She is sitting indoors, with bookshelves in the background. The lighting is dim, creating a serious atmosphere.

Stop comparing yourself to other people!

This is such an important one and is something that most of us are guilty of.

It’s far too easy to start thinking about what other people have in comparison to us, and why we’re not as good as everyone else.

These can be physical comparisons, or based on our personalities and skills.

It’s so pointless and yet all of us do it at some point! Ultimately, we’ll never feel confident and physically attractive if we’re always telling ourselves we’re ‘less’ than other people.

It’s not going to happen straight away, but taking steps to end the comparisons we make is a big shift in the right direction.

By actively focusing on not talking yourself down, you can start loving yourself the way you are.

It’s also worth thinking about when and why you stopped feeling physically attractive. Was it after a breakup or a nasty comment someone made, or after you had kids or got stuck in a relationship rut?

Thinking about what caused your dip in confidence and why you’re not feeling good about yourself is a great way to process things and maybe recover some bits you forgot.

It may be that taking time to consider your feelings now brings up some memories you’d forgotten about and need to get closure on.

For example, maybe your partner turned down your advances one night and it’s still making you feel undesirable on a subconscious level.

Whatever it is that’s linking you to that dip in confidence, you’ll find a way to get through it and can then start feeling super attractive once more!

6. Relax and enjoy some downtime.

A person with eyes closed relaxes in a bubble bath, surrounded by sunlight streaming through white blinds. There is a green plant in a white pot next to the bathtub, creating a serene and peaceful atmosphere.

Unwinding is a key part of feeling good about yourself and can help you get into the right frame of mind.

One of the problems that a lot of us women face is feeling too stressed out to ‘get in the mood.’

It’s hard to feel seductive when you’re stressing about a thousand different things.

Get into the habit of winding down and having some time to just relax and enjoy being.

This will help you find things you enjoy again (because a lot of us are guilty of being ‘too busy’ for hobbies/ trying new things) which will make you feel better in general.

When you feel relaxed and you’re enjoying life more, you’ll find it easier to feel more attractive and desirable – and to allow yourself the time to do so.

There’s nothing worse than feeling under pressure to feel or ‘be’ physically attractive, whatever that really means!

7. Dance!

A man and woman are dancing closely in a brightly lit room, surrounded by other dancing couples. The woman, wearing a red dress with matched accessories, looks into the camera, while the man, in a dark shirt, faces away from it.

You might immediately be opposed to this one (and I would be the same), but bear with me.

In the same way that exercise releases those lovely mood-boosting endorphins, dancing leaves your body and mind feeling amazing.

Join a local class and get a workout in at the same time or just whack up the music when you’re home alone.

Either way, get used to the feeling of moving to music and enjoying the sensuality in shaking your hips, your butt, your body.

The best thing here is that you’re not dancing for anyone else – this is just for you to have fun and let loose a little bit.

In turn, you’ll become more in-tune with your body and will find new ways to move that feel good.

It’s also a huge confidence booster – it may not feel that way at first, but once you get over the initial shyness, you’ll love it.

8. Try something new.

Three women are sitting outdoors, smiling and enjoying each other's company. They are in a relaxed, natural setting with tree foliage in the background, creating a bright and cheerful atmosphere. Each woman displays a warm, joyful expression.

This doesn’t need to be anything risqué to help you feel physically attractive, don’t worry.

The main thing here is that you’re putting yourself out there and pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone.

Whatever it is will make you feel so amazing once you’ve accomplished it.

If you’re stuck for ideas, ask some friends for advice. They’ll be able to think of things they know you’ll enjoy, and probably go along with you too.

Make it fun and sociable – not every step in your self-development journey needs to be on your own!

Get more people involved and you’ll start to feel accountable. You’ll start turning up – for them, to stick to your plans, and, eventually, for yourself because you deserve it!

You don’t need to get too wild, but there are some pretty quirky hobbies out there waiting for you to try.

Launch into it, enjoy yourself, and tell yourself how proud you are of doing something new off your own back, rather than for someone else.

You’ll get a big confidence boost knowing that you’ve done something different and put yourself out there – and we all know that confidence is key to feeling physically attractive.

9. List your favorite features.

A woman with long brown hair and glasses sits at a wooden table. She is writing in a notebook with a pen, and a bowl of food and a glass cup with tea or another beverage are in front of her. A dresser with a vintage lamp can be seen in the background.

I know, I know – super awkward, right?

It doesn’t need to be as bad as you might have made it out to be in your head, though!

The whole point of doing this exercise is to help you get more in touch with yourself, on every level.

We spend so much time doing things for other people and rushing around at work or with family and friends that we neglect to take care of ourselves.

This task is a way to spend more time on your own and evaluate who you are and what you like about yourself.

That can be to do with your appearance if you want – make a list of parts of your body you like, compliment yourself on your eyes, give yourself some credit for how well you dress.

Equally, spend some time thinking about your personality and what you like about it.

You’ll end up with a longer list than you might originally think, and you’ll have something to refer to when you’re feeling down.

The point of this is to remind yourself of just how great you are – and it needs to come from you!

Compliments are all well and good, and can make you feel brilliant, but you need to learn to love yourself and this will really help.

It’s a small step, but it’ll go a long way in helping you feel physically attractive once again.

10. Flirt a little.

A group of young adults socializing at a casual indoor gathering. A woman in the foreground, holding a drink, is laughing while interacting with a smiling man. Other people are engaged in conversation in the background. The atmosphere appears lively and cheerful.

Now, this obviously depends on your relationship status as we’re definitely not advocating cheating!

You can flirt with your partner or with a date if you’re single. The aim of this is to get you feeling confident and comfortable.

It’s fun to flirt and play around a bit, so don’t be afraid to be a bit silly or do some role-playing with a partner if it gets you going!

Flirting reminds you of how fun and seductive you can be, which is always a good thing. You’ll end up feeling desirable and exciting – and physically attractive.

11. Buy a new perfume.

A woman with blonde hair holds a white mug with both hands, eyes closed, and a content smile on her face. She is wearing a light-colored cardigan and sits in a cozy indoor setting with a window in the background allowing natural light to gently illuminate her face.

This one does cost money, but it’s so worth it if it’s an option for you.

How many times have you walked past someone and thought how good they smell?

Good smells are just… sensual! There’s no denying it.

Smelling good is a big part of feeling good, which, in turn, will make you feel more confident, more seductive, more interesting, you name it.

You’ll feel good and people will notice a change and will want to be around you more. The fact that you smell amazing will attract them too.

It’s also lovely to treat yourself and remind yourself that you deserve nice things because you’re an amazing person.

12. Get used to your body.

A woman with long brown hair stands in a brightly lit bathroom near a window, wearing a white bathrobe. She looks thoughtfully out the window with one arm crossed over her chest and the other resting on her shoulder. The background includes a vanity and a mirror.

You might not particularly like your body, and that’s fine. This isn’t an exercise to help you love yourself, as we’ve provided plenty of other suggestions for that (although, we’re pretty sure that loving yourself will be a natural side effect of this task).

How often do you really tune in with yourself and how you feel and look and the way your body moves without clothes on?

Rarely, I’m going to guess.

And, if you do ever do that, how much of that time is spent scrutinizing yourself, feeling ashamed of stretch marks, getting upset at weight gain/loss?

A lot, I’m going to guess.

So, this isn’t about feeling incredible straightaway and somehow instantly loving your body.

It’s about spending time with it and learning about it – what it looks like from different angles, how soft your skin is and how beautiful you are.

The more you know about yourself, acknowledge about yourself, and accept about yourself, the quicker you’ll start to see a shift and the quicker you’ll start feeling attractive again.