People who grew up with helicopter parents often display these behaviors.
Helicopter parents hover over their children’s lives, micromanaging every aspect and shielding them from challenges. While well-intentioned, this parenting style can have lasting effects on children as they grow into adults. Let’s explore nine adult behaviors that often stem from this overprotective upbringing.
1. Difficulty making decisions independently.
Remember that feeling of paralysis when faced with choosing between two flavors of ice cream as a kid? For those raised by helicopter parents, that sensation can persist well into adulthood—but with far higher stakes. These individuals often find themselves stuck in a cycle of indecision, second-guessing even the most mundane choices.
The root of this struggle lies in their upbringing, where their parents made most decisions for them. As a result, they never developed the confidence or skills to trust their own judgment. This hesitation can lead to missed opportunities and a sense of helplessness in both personal and professional spheres.
Moreover, the fear of making the “wrong” choice can be overwhelming, as they’ve been conditioned to believe that there’s always a perfect solution. This perfectionism further complicates the decision-making process, leaving them feeling trapped and unable to move forward without external input.
2. Poor problem-solving skills.
When life throws a curveball, adults who grew up with helicopter parents often find themselves at a loss. Their problem-solving muscles have atrophied from years of parental intervention, leaving them ill-equipped to tackle obstacles head-on.
These individuals may freeze up when confronted with challenges, big or small. The instinct to seek immediate help or give up entirely can be strong, as they’ve never had the chance to develop resilience through trial and error. This tendency can manifest in various aspects of life, from struggling with basic household repairs to feeling overwhelmed by work-related issues.
Furthermore, the lack of problem-solving skills can lead to a sense of learned helplessness. By constantly relying on others to fix their problems, these adults may internalize the belief that they’re incapable of handling difficulties on their own, perpetuating a cycle of dependence and low self-esteem.
3. Excessive reliance on others for validation and approval.
Adults who grew up with helicopter parents become accustomed to a steady stream of praise and guidance, leaving them ill-equipped to form their own opinions or feel secure in their choices.
At work, they might constantly seek reassurance from supervisors or colleagues, unable to trust their own judgment. In personal relationships, they may struggle to make decisions without consulting friends or family members, fearing disapproval or criticism.
The root of this behavior lies in the parent’s tendency to overpraise and micromanage. As a result, these adults have difficulty developing a strong sense of self and often tie their self-worth to the opinions of others. This can lead to a constant state of anxiety and insecurity, as they struggle to find their own voice in a world that doesn’t provide the same level of constant feedback they received growing up.
4. Lack of resilience when facing challenges.
Life’s inevitable setbacks can feel like insurmountable obstacles for adult children of helicopter parents. These individuals often crumble in the face of adversity, lacking the mental fortitude to bounce back from failures or disappointments.
Their upbringing, characterized by constant protection from hardship, has left them ill-prepared for the realities of adult life. When faced with rejection, criticism, or failure, they may experience intense emotional distress and struggle to move forward. This lack of resilience can manifest in various ways, from avoiding challenging situations altogether to becoming overwhelmed by minor setbacks.
Moreover, these adults may have difficulty recognizing that struggle and failure are natural parts of growth and learning. Instead, they may view every obstacle as a reflection of their own inadequacy, further eroding their self-confidence and willingness to take risks.
5. Underdeveloped coping mechanisms for stress and failure.
When life turns up the heat, adults raised by helicopter parents get out of the kitchen. Their toolkit for managing stress and dealing with failure is woefully inadequate, leaving them vulnerable to emotional meltdowns and prolonged periods of distress.
These individuals may resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as avoidance or excessive self-criticism, when faced with stressful situations. The lack of experience in handling adversity during their formative years has left them without the necessary skills to process and overcome challenging emotions.
Furthermore, their perception of failure can be particularly skewed. Having been shielded from disappointment and setbacks during childhood, they may view any form of failure as catastrophic. This mindset can lead to intense anxiety around performance and a reluctance to take risks or try new things, ultimately limiting their personal growth and potential for success.
6. Difficulty setting and maintaining personal boundaries.
For adults who grew up with helicopter parents, the concept of personal boundaries can be as foreign as a distant planet. These individuals often struggle to establish and enforce limits in their relationships, both personal and professional.
The root of this issue lies in their upbringing, where parents constantly invaded their personal space and made decisions on their behalf. As a result, they may have difficulty recognizing when their boundaries are being crossed or feel unable to assert their own needs and preferences.
They might find themselves overcommitting to please others, unable to say no to requests or demands. In romantic relationships, they may struggle to maintain a sense of individuality, becoming overly dependent on their partner. At work, they might allow colleagues or supervisors to take advantage of their time and energy, leading to burnout and resentment.
7. Excessive need for external structure and guidance.
Adults who have helicopter parents often find themselves adrift without a compass when it comes to self-direction. The constant guidance and structure provided during their upbringing has left them ill-equipped to navigate life’s uncharted waters on their own.
In the workplace, they may struggle with open-ended projects or roles that require self-management, constantly seeking direction from supervisors. In their personal lives, they might rely heavily on self-help books, life coaches, or friends to make decisions and set goals.
The underlying issue is a lack of trust in their own judgment and abilities. Having never been given the opportunity to develop self-reliance, these adults may feel lost or anxious when faced with situations that require independent thinking or action. This dependency on external guidance can hinder their personal growth and limit their potential for success in both their careers and personal relationships.
8. Lack of self-confidence in professional settings.
In the professional arena, adults who grew up with helicopter parents often find themselves feeling like imposters in their own skin. The constant supervision and intervention during their formative years have left them with a shaky foundation of self-belief, particularly in work environments.
This lack of confidence can manifest in various ways. They might hesitate to speak up in meetings, doubting the value of their ideas. When faced with new challenges or responsibilities, they may experience intense anxiety and self-doubt, questioning their ability to handle the task at hand.
Moreover, these individuals may struggle to take credit for their achievements, constantly attributing their successes to luck or the help of others. This mindset can hinder their career progression, as they may be overlooked for promotions or new opportunities due to their inability to assert themselves and showcase their skills.
9. Perfectionism and fear of failure.
The quest for perfection becomes an all-consuming mission for many adults raised by helicopter parents. This relentless pursuit of flawlessness, coupled with an intense fear of failure, can create a paralyzing cycle of anxiety and self-doubt.
These individuals often set unrealistically high standards for themselves, believing that anything less than perfection is unacceptable. This mindset stems from their upbringing, where parents may have constantly intervened to “fix” their mistakes or shield them from failure. As a result, they’ve internalized the belief that mistakes must be avoided at all costs.
These individuals might procrastinate on important tasks, afraid to start because the outcome might not meet their lofty expectations. In relationships, they may struggle with vulnerability, fearing that showing imperfections will lead to rejection. This perfectionism can also lead to chronic stress and burnout, as they push themselves to maintain an impossible standard of performance in all areas of life.
