You’ll only hear these words spoken by an authentic person.
You can tell a lot about a person’s authenticity (or lack thereof) by the phrases they use on a regular basis. The 12 examples that follow are generally used by those whose personalities are honest and real, rather than contrived and performative.
1. “I didn’t know that, thank you so much for telling me.”
Highly authentic people don’t pretend to know things that they’re ignorant about. Instead, they’re honest about their lack of knowledge because that gives them the opportunity to learn more. There’s no shame in ignorance, but it is shameful to lie about one’s knowledge level in order to avoid potential embarrassment.
2. “We’re going to have to agree to disagree on this one.”
They know that people are going to have differing perspectives on things, and that’s absolutely okay. A huge mark of an emotionally mature, very real human being is their ability to acknowledge and respect different opinions without feeling the need to get defensive or go on the attack about them.
3. “I don’t have the bandwidth for this right now, but I’d like to discuss this with you soon.”
You can tell that someone you know is truly authentic when they’re honest with you about their personal limitations. If they care about you and want to be there for you, but they’re going through something and don’t have the energy to do so, they’ll tell you the truth about it.
4. “I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable sharing that information with you.”
A highly authentic person isn’t likely to lie about a subject that they aren’t comfortable sharing: they have too much integrity for that. Instead, they’ll be honest about the fact that they don’t feel right discussing it, and will let you know that they have a boundary regarding this information.
5. “It’s great that you like that, but it really isn’t for me.”
You’ve probably read (or watched) plenty of reviews in which people describe how awful something is because it isn’t to their personal tastes. An authentic person will acknowledge that they aren’t going to like everything, but that doesn’t mean the things they dislike are terrible—they simply aren’t for them.
6. “I apologize. Please let me know how I can make this up to you.”
Authentic people don’t simply apologize when they know they’ve done wrong: they also ask how they can rectify the situation. They hold themselves to a high standard of ethics and accountability, and they strive to make amends with people rather than ghosting them or pretending that nothing bad happened between them.
7. “You don’t have to approve of my choices, but you do need to respect them.”
People who use phrases like this are authentic enough to have the courage of their convictions, and won’t tolerate disrespect about their life choices. They don’t feel insecure about said choices, and they won’t tolerate other people’s bigotry or harassment about them, or the people close to them.
8. “I can’t understand what you’re going through firsthand, but I can empathize and be here for you however I can.”
You may have gotten frustrated with people who have never experienced the same hardships as you, but who imply that they understand exactly what you’re going through. Authentic people won’t make this claim, but will instead be real about that fact, and will ask how they can best support you.
9. “I can’t do that in good conscience.”
It’s a rare soul who will turn down things that may benefit them because they don’t align with their personal morals or ethics. Although they want to help others, they won’t hesitate to disappoint someone else if it means being true to themselves, even if that comes at a personal cost.
10. “That doesn’t work for me, so let’s find a middle ground that we can both agree to.”
Rather than people-pleasing, they’ll be honest when something doesn’t align for them, but they’ll also aim to negotiate a middle ground that both parties can be comfortable with. They have their boundaries, but also respect those of others, and like to work toward the best solutions possible for everyone involved.
11. “Let me repeat that back to ensure that I understood you correctly.”
One of the most authentic things a person can do is ensure that there are as few misunderstandings and miscommunications as possible. As a result, they often put active listening into practice and repeat back what they think they heard to ensure everyone is on the same track.
12. “You’re entitled to your opinion, but I don’t have to care about it.”
Most authentic people are completely unfazed by others’ views and opinions. They’ll respect that others may think or feel a certain way, but that doesn’t mean they have to share their thoughts or beliefs. In fact, they don’t have to care about them at all.