12 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Subconsciously Dislikes You

How can you tell if someone secretly dislikes you?

A woman with red hair looks upward and holds her chin in thought, while another woman with dark hair in the background makes an exaggerated expression, appearing to imitate claws with her hands. They stand outdoors, and the background is slightly blurred.

If you’ve ever wondered whether someone dislikes you or not, you may have known on a soul-deep level that they had a problem with you. The following behaviors are subtle signs that they really don’t like you, even if they imply otherwise.

*Note: rather than taking any single behavior on this list as evidence that someone dislikes you, look for a combination of several signs.

1. A sarcastic or monotone voice when they speak to you.

Two women are engaged in conversation outdoors. The woman on the left, with dark hair tied back, is facing another woman who has a curly hair, dressed in a white coat and a red knitted hat. The background is slightly blurred, hinting at an urban setting.

The tone in which a person speaks to you will often say more than the actual words they choose. If they’re speaking in a monotone voice without much inflection, or speak to you in a condescending or scathing manner, that’s a surefire sign you aren’t on their list of favorite people.

2. Microexpressions.

A woman with short brown hair is sitting in a chair, gesturing with her hands while looking intently at someone. She appears to be engaged in a serious conversation. The background shows a blurred interior with soft lighting, a lamp, and a piece of furniture.

A microexpression is a tiny, subconscious facial movement that people often do without realizing it. For example, if someone’s eyebrow twitches upward momentarily, or their mouth forms a brief pout of disdain when you approach, that’ll tell you the real emotions percolating behind their false smiles and feigned enthusiasm.

3. They don’t engage with you.

Two women stand outdoors, one with long hair and tattoos wearing a white tank top, appearing thoughtful. The other wears a large hat and is animatedly gesturing while talking to her friend. A building with white railings is in the background.

When you talk to them, they may keep their answers short and to the point to get the exchange over with quickly. If you try to engage them in conversation, they always have an excuse as to why they can’t chat. Similarly, if you share something amusing with your social group, they don’t laugh.

4. They’re very polite and formal when interacting with you.

Two women standing and shaking hands in a bright, modern hallway. One woman, with long dark hair and dressed in a beige blazer, is smiling. The other woman, with long blonde hair, is seen from the back, wearing a white shirt and dark skirt.

A person who subconsciously dislikes you may be excessively formal when speaking with you. They may be very reserved and exceedingly polite—almost like they’re very carefully controlling all of their words and gestures so that their authentic thoughts don’t slip out into the open and betray the reality of their contempt.

5. They’ll seek to replace you.

A man with a serious expression is sitting alone at a café table, resting his chin on his hand. In the background, a group of people are conversing and laughing. The café has a casual atmosphere with dim lighting and blurred details.

They may try to replace you in your friend group, or even take a place of priority in the lives of those close to you by showing everyone how much better they are than you. In their eyes, you don’t deserve to have the position you’re in, but they do.

6. They intentionally exclude you.

A person with short hair and a grey shirt is focusing intently on a smartphone. They rest their chin on their hand in contemplation. The background is blurred but shows an individual in a green shirt and an outdoor setting.

You may see photos of colleagues’ or friends’ outings or celebrations online, and realize that the host invited everyone in your social circle except for you. Similarly, when plans are made, there’s usually “just enough space” for X number of people, so sorry, there just isn’t room for you this time.

7. Constant one-upmanship.

Two women are engaged in a conversation at an office table. One woman with curly hair and glasses is speaking, holding a pen. The other woman, with straight hair, listens attentively with her chin resting on her hand. A laptop and pink mug are on the table.

No matter what it is you’ve purchased, achieved, or earned, they’ve done better somehow. They may not say so overtly, but will make subtle digs in a passive-aggressive or seemingly innocuous manner, like saying that they were also fond of the equipment you use before they were able to afford higher quality.

8. Body language that implies irritation or contempt.

Two women sitting outside on a bench. The woman on the right with red hair is smiling and gesturing with her hands, while the woman on the left with brown hair appears unimpressed, looking away with a slight smirk.

They may lean back as far as they can when you’re around to put distance between you, crossing their arms over their chests. Alternatively, they may sigh or roll their eyes when you enter a room and seem to brace themselves for whatever fresh hell you’re about to annoy them with.

9. They’ll offer backhanded compliments.

Two men are engaged in a conversation in a well-lit room with sunlight streaming through the window. One man wears a brown shirt, and the other wears a red checked shirt and glasses. People can be seen in the background blurry, possibly working or socializing.

Any compliments from them will be veiled insults, rather than sincere. For example, they might offer to give you a clothing item, saying “it’s huge on me, but I’m sure it’ll look lovely on you”, or tell you how brave you are to walk around with such an unusual haircut.

10. They act as though you aren’t even there.

Three people engaged in conversation, seated indoors. One person with brown hair and a gray blazer is smiling and looking attentively at the person speaking, who is partially visible. The other person has blonde hair and is also smiling. All appear to be in a professional setting.

If you’re in a group, they’ll talk to everyone around you and won’t even acknowledge your existence. Furthermore, if you’re talking about something and have the attention of those around you, they’ll interrupt you and talk right over you as though you didn’t exist. To them, you’re not important enough to recognize.

11. They treat you differently than they treat everyone else around you.

A young woman wearing a yellow turtleneck sweater and a backpack is holding a notebook and water bottle. She appears to be engaged in a conversation with someone whose back is to the camera. The background features an urban setting with buildings and people.

They may be incredibly warm and friendly to those around you, but don’t even pretend to show you any courtesy. For example, they may hug or shake hands with everyone who attends the event they’re hosting, but will simply give you a cursory nod before leaving the vicinity to do something important.

12. They’ll express their true feelings with a different audience.

A group of four young adults sit on a stylish, illuminated staircase, engaged in lively conversation. They appear casual and happy, with warm lighting enhancing the cozy atmosphere. The person on the far right is looking directly at the camera, smiling.

They may criticize a dish if they think that you made it, but sing its praises if they thought it was prepared by someone else. Similarly, they may condemn you for your taste in music, films, or books, but tell others how much they admire their preferences in the same categories.