12 Behaviors That Indicate Someone Is Not To Be Trusted

If someone exhibits these behaviors, I strongly suggest you do not trust them.

A woman with long dark hair looks past a man's shoulder, with only her eyes and part of her face visible. The man faces away, wearing a brown textured jacket. The background features teal horizontal stripes.

Most of us can tell on an instinctive level whether someone can be trusted or not, but there are also some very tangible behaviors to look out for that can indicate their sleaziness. If a person you’re interacting with exhibits any of the following, guard yourself well.

1. They gossip about everyone.

Two women with striking makeup are depicted closely together. One woman whispers into the other's ear, creating an intimate and enigmatic atmosphere. Their makeup features bold colors like blue and orange, highlighting their eyes and lips.

If they gossip to you about everyone else, guess what they’re doing when you’re not around? Rest assured that if this person is spilling others’ secrets and trash-talking people behind their backs, they’re doing the same thing about you. Don’t trust them with any important information, and limit your time with them.

2. They either avoid eye contact, or hold it strangely (or for too long).

A man with short, dark hair and stubble stares intensely at the camera, resting his chin on his folded hands. He is wearing a dark gray sweater and is set against a plain gray background.

This type of shiftiness is different from the discomfort that some neurodivergent people may feel with direct eye contact. Instead, the person may behave as though they either have something to hide, or are trying to stare you down in an attempt to establish dominance over you or intentionally unnerve you.

3. They seem to know a lot about you before you’ve told them.

A woman with short red hair is engaged in a serious conversation with a bearded man with dreadlocks who is gesturing with his hand. They are indoors, with a large window in the background providing natural light. Both are focused on each other.

A person who knows a whole lot about you before you’ve opened up to them yourself is someone who has researched you quite extensively. It’s one thing for an employer to do a background check, and another thing entirely for an acquaintance to scroll through all your online accounts for personal details.

4. They joke or laugh about how they’ve screwed people over in the past.

A person with shoulder-length wavy hair laughs heartily while holding their chest and stomach. They are wearing a short-sleeved denim dress and standing on a city street with buildings and a bus in the background.

If this person is telling a story about how they cheated someone over in the past—whether by stealing from them or sabotaging something about their life—that’s a raging red flag. After all, if they did that to another with such gleeful enthusiasm, they won’t hesitate to do the same to you.

5. They ignore or intentionally overstep your boundaries.

Two women with blonde hair are indoors, having a serious discussion. The woman on the left, gesturing with her hand, appears to be speaking, while the woman on the right, sitting on a couch or bed, looks away with a thoughtful or dissatisfied expression.

You’ve told this person that you work from home and have asked them not to stop by uninvited during business hours, but they keep doing so anyway. Or you’ve said that you don’t drink for personal reasons, and they keep trying to coerce you into doing so. To them, your boundaries are a challenge.

6. They show a different personality with every group.

A group of four friends is sitting at an outdoor café table, enjoying drinks and food. They are engaged in conversation and laughing. One person holds a glass of orange juice, while another has a cup of coffee. There are plates of food on the table.

You may not be sure who this person really is, because they behave differently with every social group they encounter. We may adjust our tone or wardrobe to suit various situations, but an individual who’s an entirely different person every time is unlikely to be trustworthy.

7. They constantly change their mind, or their stance.

A woman in a blue shirt holds a coffee cup while engaging in conversation with someone off-camera. She appears animated and is using hand gestures. The background shows blurred windows with decorative patterns.

A structure that’s built on ever-shifting sands is going to be an unstable one. Similarly, a person who seems to change direction on a daily basis with regard to what they think, feel, believe, or stand for, can’t be trusted to show integrity or loyalty in the long term.

8. They have many different pursuits on someone else’s dime.

A man and woman stand on a golf course next to a golf cart. The woman is wearing a coral polo shirt, white skirt, and white cap, holding a basket of golf balls. The man is wearing a blue polo shirt and beige shorts. Trees and a golf flag are visible in the background.

This person may have many academic qualifications, craft certifications, and hobbies, all of which have been pursued thanks to someone else’s finances. Not only is this person flighty and prone to changing who they are whenever the wind shifts direction, but they’ll use others to attain whatever they want in the moment.

9. They ask a lot of questions but offer little to no personal information.

A bearded man in a denim shirt sits at a table, smiling and gesturing with his hand, while speaking to another person whose back is to the camera. They appear to be having a friendly conversation in a cozy, well-lit setting.

You may find that they ask a lot of questions about you, your personal life, your past, and so on, but will quickly change the subject if you ask them anything in turn. Essentially, they’re a tightly sealed vault about their own details, but want to know everything about everyone else around them.

10. They borrow things and then “lose them”, or don’t return them.

A woman with long dark hair and wearing a denim jacket looks annoyed and upset, clenching her jacket. Behind her, another woman with light brown hair and wearing a grey coat appears to be angrily shouting. The background is outdoors and blurred.

They’ll often ask to borrow items and then magically lose them, either because they’ve loaned them to someone else, misplaced them, or decided to keep them just a bit longer. Items that do get lost aren’t replaced or paid for, and they may deny ever having borrowed them at all.

11. Their words don’t match their behavior.

A man and a woman sit at an outdoor table, engaged in conversation and smiling. The scene is set on a patio with wicker chairs and a modern glass building in the background. Nearby greenery and a view of a grassy lawn create a serene atmosphere.

People are rarely what they claim to be, and their actions will speak much louder than their words. A sincerely good person doesn’t have to tell others how great or classy they are: their behavior will prove whether they’re actually decent, or simply trying to convince others that they are.

12. Insistence upon being trusted.

Two women are sitting and engaged in a lively conversation outdoors. One has long black hair and is wearing a white sweater, while the other has blonde hair and is dressed in a yellow sweater, holding a book on her lap. Green foliage and building structures are in the background.

There seems to be a direct parallel between people who say things like “not gonna lie”, and the frequency with which they’ll lie to your face. The same goes for those who constantly talk about how you can trust them, and encourage you to do so. It’s a trap—don’t do it.