10 Signs Someone Has A Good Heart (Even Though They’re Difficult To Deal With)

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People like this have big hearts but challenging personalities.

An older man with gray hair and a beard, wearing a blue shirt, is gesturing while talking to a younger man with dark hair, wearing a plaid shirt and a smartwatch, as they sit on a beige sofa in a well-lit room.

We often encounter individuals who, despite their kind hearts, can be difficult to deal with. This article explores ten signs that reveal a person’s inherent goodness, even when their actions might suggest otherwise. Understanding these traits can help us appreciate the complexity of human nature and foster more compassionate connections.

1. They’re brutally honest, but always with good intentions.

A woman in a striped shirt is standing with a surprised expression and her hands near her chest, facing another person with long hair who has her hand raised as if gesturing or stopping her. They appear to be having an intense conversation at home.

Honesty hits hard when it comes from these individuals. Their words might sting, but the truth behind them stems from a place of genuine care. They believe in the power of unfiltered communication, even if it means ruffling a few feathers along the way.

These straight-shooters often lack the finesse of tact, bulldozing through social niceties with their blunt observations. While their approach can leave others feeling raw and exposed, their ultimate goal is to help, not harm. They operate on the principle that facing reality head-on is the fastest route to personal growth and stronger relationships.

2. They have high standards for themselves and others.

Two men are having a conversation in a bright room. One is gesturing with his hands, wearing a plaid shirt, and glasses. The other has his arms crossed, wearing a pink shirt. Behind them is a wooden wall with green plants.

Perfectionists at heart, these individuals set the bar sky-high, and not just for themselves, but for everyone around them. Their relentless pursuit of excellence can be exhausting, yet it’s rooted in a deep-seated belief in human potential.

They push hard because they genuinely want to see others succeed and reach their full capabilities. Their critical eye isn’t about finding fault; it’s about identifying areas for improvement and growth. This constant striving for better can create an atmosphere of pressure and stress, as they struggle to accept anything less than the best.

Their high standards often come with a hefty dose of encouragement and support. They’re usually the first to celebrate achievements and milestones, no matter how small, recognizing the effort it takes to meet their lofty expectations.

3. They’re fiercely protective of loved ones.

A family gathers around a dining table adorned with various dishes. A woman in a red cardigan presents a roasted turkey to an elderly man. Two children and three adults are smiling and engaged. The background features a white kitchen.

Loyalty runs deep in these individuals, manifesting as an almost primal urge to shield their loved ones from harm. Their protective instincts can sometimes border on overbearing, causing friction in relationships.

They’re the friends who’ll drop everything at a moment’s notice if you need help, the family members who’ll go to bat for you without hesitation. This unwavering support stems from a wellspring of love and concern. However, their intense desire to protect can sometimes stifle independence or come across as controlling.

4. They’re emotionally intense.

Two women sit at an outdoor café, engaged in a conversation. The woman in a red jacket gestures emotionally with her hands, appearing frustrated or upset. Two white cups are on the table in front of them, and the background shows an overcast sky and trees.

Feelings run hot and cold with these individuals, their emotions dialed up to eleven at all times. They experience life in vivid technicolor, their reactions passionate and unrestrained whether they’re ecstatic or devastated.

This emotional intensity can be both exhilarating and exhausting for those around them. One moment they’re bubbling with infectious enthusiasm, the next they’re plunged into the depths of despair. Their ability to feel so deeply often translates into profound empathy and a knack for connecting with others on an emotional level.

However, navigating their emotional rollercoaster can be challenging. Their mood swings might seem unpredictable or disproportionate to others. Yet, this very intensity is what allows them to experience life’s joys and sorrows with remarkable depth and authenticity.

5. They’re stubborn about doing what they believe is right.

A woman with shoulder-length brown hair stands against a solid light blue background. She wears a blue dress with a white and yellow daisy pattern and has her arms crossed, gazing directly at the camera with a neutral expression.

Principles aren’t just guidelines for these individuals, they’re unshakeable foundations. Once they’ve decided on a course of action they believe to be right, they’ll stand their ground with unwavering determination.

Their moral compass points true north, and they’ll follow it regardless of the obstacles in their path. This steadfast commitment to their beliefs can lead to conflicts, as they’re rarely willing to compromise on matters of principle. They’ll argue their point passionately, sometimes alienating others in the process.

Despite the friction their stubbornness may cause, there’s an admirable quality to their conviction. They’re not swayed by popular opinion or personal gain, instead choosing to champion what they believe is just and fair, even when it’s the harder path to take.

6. They’re generous to a fault.

An older man wearing a red beanie and gloves, wrapped in a blanket, sits on the street smiling and talking with a younger man in a suit holding a coffee cup. The younger man shows something on his phone, and they appear to be enjoying a friendly conversation.

Generosity flows freely from these individuals, their desire to help others sometimes overshadowing their own needs. They give without expectation of return, finding joy in the act of giving itself.

Their boundless generosity can manifest in various ways—from offering material support to lending an ear or a helping hand. They’re often the first to volunteer, to share what they have, or to go out of their way to assist others. This selflessness, while admirable, can sometimes enable negative behaviors in those they’re trying to help.

7. They’re brutally self-critical.

A woman with long dark hair looks intently at a broken mirror, with sharp reflections creating fragmented images of her face. Her expression appears thoughtful and contemplative.

The harshest critic these individuals face is often the one staring back at them in the mirror. They hold themselves to impossibly high standards, scrutinizing their every action and decision with unforgiving intensity. 

This relentless self-criticism can come across as negativity to others, casting a shadow over their interactions. They might downplay compliments or constantly apologize for perceived shortcomings. However, beneath this seemingly pessimistic exterior lies a genuine desire for self-improvement and growth.

Their brutal honesty extends inward, allowing them to acknowledge their flaws and work on bettering themselves. While this trait can be emotionally taxing, it also drives them to continually evolve and strive for personal excellence.

8. They have a strong sense of justice.

A person with curly hair, wearing a bright green shirt and denim overalls, stands against a pink background. They raise their right arm with a clenched fist in a gesture of strength and determination.

Fairness and equality aren’t just concepts for these individuals, they’re causes worth fighting for. Their unwavering commitment to justice often leads them into heated debates and passionate arguments.

They’re the ones who’ll speak up against injustice, even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular to do so. This strong moral compass guides their actions and decisions, sometimes at the cost of personal relationships or social harmony. They believe in standing up for what’s right, even if it means standing alone.

Their pursuit of justice can sometimes come across as argumentative or inflexible. However, their motivation isn’t to create conflict, but to advocate for fairness and equality. They genuinely believe in creating a more just world and are willing to put in the hard work and face the challenges that come with it.

9. They’re always trying to fix things or offer solutions.

A man in a blue suit is sitting at a desk in an office, turned towards a woman in a white blazer who is standing and talking. A computer monitor is on the desk, and a gray curtain is in the background. The man appears to be gesturing with his hands.

Problem-solvers at heart, these individuals are constantly in “fix-it” mode. The moment they hear about an issue, their minds start whirring with potential solutions and action plans.

This eagerness to help can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, they’re incredibly resourceful and proactive, often coming up with innovative solutions to complex problems. On the other hand, their rush to fix things can sometimes lead them to miss important emotional cues. They might offer advice when a friend just needs a sympathetic ear, or jump into problem-solving mode before fully understanding the situation.

10. They have very strong boundaries.

A man with short black hair and a black t-shirt is taking a selfie. He is raising his right hand, palm facing the camera, as if gesturing to stop or hold. His expression appears serious. The background is plain and neutral.

Fortress-like boundaries are a hallmark of these individuals. They have a clear sense of where they end and others begin, maintaining a strong sense of self even in close relationships.

This steadfast adherence to personal boundaries can sometimes come across as cold or distant. They might decline invitations, limit their availability, or seem reluctant to share personal information. However, these boundaries aren’t walls meant to keep others out, but rather healthy limits that allow them to engage authentically and sustainably with the world.

Their strong boundaries stem from a deep sense of self-respect and emotional maturity. They understand the importance of self-care and are not afraid to prioritize their own well-being. While it may take time to earn their trust and closeness, the relationships they do form tend to be deep, genuine, and built on mutual respect.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.