12 Behaviors That Make You Instantly Unlikable When Meeting New People

Doing these things will put people off you in an instant.

Three men sitting at a brewery table, holding glasses of beer. One man in a plaid shirt is shaking hands with another man whose back is to the camera. A bowl of chips is on the table. They are smiling with copper brewing tanks in the background.

We never have a second chance to make a first impression, and people will often make up their minds as to whether they like a person within a short while of meeting them. Be careful about the following 12 behaviors, as many people find them annoying, unnerving, or downright contemptible.

1. Making fun of how others speak.

A young woman with long dark hair, wearing a denim jacket and an orange top, smiles happily while pointing towards the camera. She has a pair of sunglasses resting on her head. The background is a solid yellow color.

Some people find it hilarious to mock how others speak, such as mimicking their accent or stammer, or berating them for using “big words”, and so on. If you’re keen on never having any friends or romantic partners, then this is an effective method of keeping others away from you.

2. One-sided conversations.

Two women sitting at a table with glasses of orange juice in front of them. One woman looks bored, resting her hand on her cheek, while the other smiles and gestures animatedly. They are in a bright, outdoor setting with blurred greenery in the background.

If other people need to interrupt your stream-of-consciousness monologue to get a word in, they aren’t going to want to interact with you further. Some people chatter quite a bit when they’re nervous, or if they’re incredibly excited about a subject, but good conversations require equal give and take.

3. Name-dropping.

A group of four young adults sitting at a table, engaging in conversation. One woman with long hair in a ponytail, wearing a gray top, is speaking while holding a yellow mug. The table has various beverages and snacks. Light streams in from a window behind them.

Believe it or not, few people are going to be impressed if you mention the famous people you’ve met or hung out with on occasion. In fact, they’ll likely see it as you compensating for some shortcomings and trying to prove how cool you are via your association with others.

4. Being proud of poor behavior or traits that are considered “bad”.

Three men are in a gym. One is wearing boxing gloves and a sleeveless shirt; the other two are casually dressed. They are standing near workout equipment and appear to be having a friendly conversation.

Bragging about how others think you’re a jerk isn’t going to win you any prizes—or friends—especially if you seem to be amused or even proud of your reputation. You might think it’s hilarious that you humiliated or bullied someone without any repercussions, but no one else does.

5. One-upmanship.

Three people are sitting and engaged in conversation. One has a denim jacket, another a blue shirt, and one is wearing plaid. A coffee cup is held by one person. Green plants are visible in the background.

If someone is getting over a cold, that’s nothing compared to the pneumonia you had last week. Oh, they just got their bachelor’s degree? Well, you’re meeting with your PhD panel soon to discuss your thesis, and so on. This is a tiresome habit that will alienate most people you’re trying to befriend.

6. Spending more time staring at your phone than interacting with them.

Two women sitting at a table in an outdoor cafe. One woman, with her hands on her face, looks bored or annoyed while the other, in a white shirt, is focused on her smartphone. They are in front of a red wall with a window and a closed door.

When you’re having a conversation with someone, staring at your phone rather than paying sincere attention to what they’re saying is considered atrociously rude. If you’re aiming to establish bonds with new people, make sure they’re your priority when you’re in their company. Your phone can wait until later.

7. Over-the-top vulgarity.

Three women stand around a table with drinks, engaged in animated conversation. One woman in pink looks surprised, the woman in the middle gestures with hands open, and the third woman in blue smiles while gesturing with her fingers. A hand holding a beer is in the foreground.

Most of us pepper our conversations with well-timed profanity, but if you’ve just met someone and you’re immediately cracking atrocious jokes or swearing with every other syllable, you’re likely going to make everyone around you uncomfortable. Aim for polite speech and gracious manners until you’ve cultivated a stronger bond with everyone.

8. Acting like an insufferable know-it-all (especially when you don’t know others’ education on the topic).

Two young women are sitting on a couch in a well-lit living room. One with long brown hair listens attentively with her chin resting on her hand, while the other with long red hair speaks, gesturing with her hands. They appear to be engaged in a serious conversation.

There are few things as tiresome or insulting as being lectured on a subject you know quite thoroughly by someone who knows very little but who thinks they’re an expert. The Dunning-Kruger effect is irritating at best, and detrimental at worst—especially if the people you’re talking to have influence over your career.

9. “Negging”.

A woman and a man are sitting at a table in a cozy café, each with a cup of coffee. The woman, dressed in a blue striped shirt, is stirring her coffee while smiling. The man, wearing a pink shirt, is looking at her with a smile.

Making disparaging remarks or cutting someone down in an attempt to be aggressively jovial (or put them on the defensive) is appalling behavior in anyone. It was popularized by “pickup artists” who implied that the person being “negged” will try harder to be liked and thus be more easily manipulated. Whether that’s true or not, it’s seriously toxic.

10. Trauma dumping.

Two women sitting on a couch; the woman on the left, with long dark hair and a brown sweater, appears sad and is looking down, while the woman on the right, with long blonde hair and a blue shirt, is offering comfort by placing a hand on her back and leaning in sympathetically.

Do you start talking about your various traumas or illnesses within a few minutes of meeting someone? A lot of people make their damage and diagnoses foundational to their personalities, but most folks are uncomfortable being a captive audience to a complete stranger talking about the assaults and medical procedures they’ve experienced.

11. Having terrible etiquette.

Two friends sit at a wooden bar in a cozy, dimly-lit pub with brick arch ceilings. They are smiling and laughing while holding burgers. A glass of beer is on the counter in front of each of them. Decorative plants and condiments are also on the countertop.

If you’re sharing a meal with some new acquaintances, you’re going to sour their opinion of you significantly if you eat with your mouth open, smack your lips, belch or pass gas at the table, act rudely toward the serving staff, or otherwise display atrocious manners across the board.

12. Treating animals poorly.

A person holds a stick and rests a hand on a relaxed brown dog lying on a dirt path. Sunlight filters through the surrounding trees, casting dappled shadows on the ground. The scene is peaceful and in a natural setting.

For most people, watching someone mistreat an animal is grounds for immediate ostracization, and with good reason. The way someone treats animals says a great deal about the kind of person they are, so tormenting a vulnerable creature that can’t fight back intimates a twisted personality that nobody wants around.