People Who Attract Positive Friends Do These 12 Things Differently

Are you part of a positive friendship circle?

A diverse group of friends stands closely together, smiling and laughing in an urban setting. The background shows buildings and a lively street. The mood is joyful and warm, capturing a moment of friendship and camaraderie.

Some people seem to be perpetually surrounded by great, positive friends, while others have downer groupies and agony aunts. So, what do those who attract positive people do differently than those who attract miserable folks like moths to a guttering flame?

1. They encourage—and get involved with—other people’s healthy interests.

A group of four young adults is hiking along a forest path. They are wearing casual outdoor clothing and backpacks. Trees and greenery surround the path, creating a serene atmosphere. The group appears to be enjoying their time together in nature.

If a stranger strikes up a conversation with them and mentions their love of cooking, creativity, or exercise, they’ll encourage them and even offer to do some fun stuff together. In contrast, someone who instantly starts complaining will be offered condolences, but the engagement with them will end there.

2. They smile sincerely, when the occasion calls for it.

Two women are sitting at a table outdoors, enjoying coffee. One woman with long brown hair is wearing a light blue dress and smiling at the other, who has red hair. The background is a dark wooden panel.

There’s a time and a place for everything, and those who live in rough neighborhoods know when to smile, and when not to. When the stars align and they feel a connection with another person, however, they’ll offer a sincere, friendly smile and see where that may lead.

3. They put themselves in positions where they’ll meet others of like mind.

A group of five people gathered around a kitchen island, attentively listening to a man in an apron demonstrating how to prepare salmon. Ingredients such as tomatoes, lemons, and leafy greens, along with a bottle of oil, are spread out on the table.

If you want to meet other artists, you’ll take art classes, right? Similarly, if you want to connect with positive people who share your interests, then get involved with others who feel the same way you do. Volunteer at a community garden, help with hosting dance or music events, and so on.

4. They have healthy, interesting hobbies that bring them joy.

A diverse group of four adults, dressed in athletic wear, practice yoga outdoors. They are standing with eyes closed and arms extended, appearing serene. The background features lush greenery, a body of water, and mountain scenery under a clear sky.

Most happy people have interesting hobbies that they enjoy on a regular basis. Some may be social hobbies like team sports or yoga classes that will be filled with attendees of like mind, while creative folks and academics might connect with other crafters or scholars at festivals and conferences.

5. They avoid complaining about trivial things.

Two men are standing outdoors, leaning on a black railing. One man is holding a coffee cup while looking at the other, who holds a smartphone and smiles. Both are dressed casually in jackets with sherpa linings. A building and cloudy sky are visible in the background.

Positive people don’t gripe about their petty miseries because they know there’s no benefit in doing so. If they’re truly struggling, they’ll reach out for help, but little irritations and annoyances are kept to themselves—both for the sake of their own self-respect, and to avoid alienating their friends.

6. They focus on their blessings.

Four women are sitting at an outdoor table, smiling and talking while holding glasses of rosé wine. The setting appears to be a sunny day in a park or garden, with greenery in the background.

Those who surround themselves with positive people usually have nothing but the utmost gratitude for everything they have in their lives. They don’t take anyone for granted, and they make a point of expressing to their friends just how grateful they are for them on a regular basis.

7. They do kind things for others.

Two women are sitting on the grass. The woman on the left, wearing a striped shirt, allows her friend to apply lipstick to her lips. The woman on the right wears a hat and smiles while gently applying the lipstick. They seem to be enjoying a sunny day outdoors.

This doesn’t mean that they lavish gifts upon positive people in an attempt to buy their friendship, but rather that they do small kindnesses on a regular basis. They might offer to watch their kids, bring them soup when they’re unwell, or write them letters simply to cheer them up.

8. They remain open to positive possibilities.

Two men in plaid shirts are sitting on logs in a forest clearing. One is holding a bottle while the other, next to a chainsaw, has his arms resting on his knees. A backpack is on the ground near them. Tall trees and green foliage surround the scene.

Those who attract positive friends allow themselves to be vulnerable enough to make those friendships happen. Fearful people who live in self-imposed victimhood tend to see everyone else as a potential threat, and don’t make many friends as a result. Fortune (and positive friends) favor the bold and brave.

9. They attend positive, happy events.

A group of young people sits on grass, enjoying an outdoor music festival or concert on a sunny day. Some raise their arms, while others chat. The background shows a large stage with performers and colorful flags flying in the sky.

It’s hard not to connect with positive people when you’re at an event full of glitter, bubbles, and great music. There are countless festivals worldwide where happy folks can connect with one another, chat about wonderful topics, share food and great stories, and dance under the stars.

10. They embrace others’ differences.

Three friends are sitting on a couch, smiling and laughing. The person on the left wears a plaid shirt, the person in the middle, with short hair and hoop earrings, wears a yellow sweater, and the person on the right, with curly hair, wears a denim shirt.

Those who have positive friends tend to have wide social circles filled with folks of all different ages, cultural backgrounds, genders, able-bodiedness, and so on. Inclusivity is the foundation here, and they cherish their friends for who they are. This goes beyond “tolerance” to celebration of differences, achievements, and more.

11. They behave authentically.

Two women are seated at a table, engaged in a friendly conversation. One woman is holding a white cup and smiling at the other, who is also smiling. The setting is lively, and there are blurred figures and soft-focus greenery in the background.

You can usually tell the difference between an authentic person and one who’s trying to fit in by the way they present themselves. The former will dress and behave in a manner that makes them happy and comfortable, while the latter will present themselves in a way that may win others’ approval.

12. They show real courtesy.

Four friends in casual outdoor clothing sit and stand around a railing near a lake, laughing and enjoying each other's company. One person is pouring a drink from a thermos, while another playfully pats a friend's head. Trees and water are visible in the background.

If two people both rush to pick up someone’s dropped groceries at the same time, they can be pretty sure that they’ll get along well. Similarly, those who volunteer to help neighbors in need will instantly recognize positivity and kindness in each other, and may connect as friends accordingly.