People who are comfortable in their own skin have these 13 things in common

That skin of yours… is it comfortable to wear?

A woman with long blonde hair smiles at the camera. She is wearing a bright yellow top and is sitting on a beige sofa. The background is softly blurred, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.

Does it fit perfectly like your favorite pair of jeans? Or is it like an itchy, ill-fitting sweater that you simply can’t relax in?

Hopefully it’s the former, but if it’s not, you’re in luck. Here are 13 things people who are comfortable in their skin have in common, that you can adopt too.

1. They understand that their skin is always changing.

A smiling man with glasses and a gray beard stands with arms crossed in a park. He wears a green polo shirt. The background features trees and a path covered in yellow leaves.

Who you are is constantly changing. People who are comfortable in their skin recognize and accept this fact.

In order to be comfortable in your skin, you have to be comfortable with the ways in which your skin can and will change.

This goes for both your outer appearance and your inner being.

Your self-concept – the psychological term for the thoughts you have about yourself and the way you see yourself – shifts over time and with your experiences.

People who are comfortable in their own skin don’t fight this shift, but accept it as an inevitable part of life.

2. They don’t cling on to their old skin.

A person with short blonde hair is closely examining their face in a round mirror. They gently touch their cheek with a thoughtful expression, focusing intently on their reflection. The mirror and face are sharply in focus, while the background is blurred.

Sometimes the changes we see in ourselves are not ones that we welcome, but they are ones we need to accept.

This is particularly the case with regard to our physical appearance and abilities. Aging is a mental challenge as much as a physical one. You have to adapt to your body’s new form and ways of working. It is the same with your mental acuity, which can lessen as you reach the latter years of life.

You can’t be comfortable in this new reality if you yearn for a past time when you were more physically and mentally agile.

Aside from aging, you might also face a change in life circumstances that leaves you looking back in envy at your past self. People who are comfortable in their own skin accept that they can’t be that person again right here and right now. They may work to change their circumstances to something more favorable, but they know that it won’t happen overnight.

3. They don’t rush to fill their future skin.

A woman with long hair smiles warmly at the camera. She is wearing a white and black patterned dress. In the background, there are palm trees and a sandy landscape under a clear sky.

There are occasions when some of us wish time would pass by faster so that we can reach some future where we’ll be more at ease with ourselves.

This is a dangerous mindset that people who are comfortable in their skin never adopt.

If you are always looking forward to some future you that will be happier or more successful, you will never be able to enjoy yourself in the present moment.

You only have so much time in this life. Don’t wish it away in the false belief that tomorrow will be a better day.

4. They ignore the labels other people have given them.

A woman with long brown hair is yelling with her hands raised. In the foreground, a girl with long brown hair and a blue shirt sits on a couch, covering her ears with her fingers and looking up. Shelves with books and plants are visible in the background.

As children, we are given many labels – some less kind than others.

And yet, it is often these labels that we cling onto as if they are a part of who we are. We wrap them up into our identity as if they are facts.

But these unkind labels are not who you are, and people who are comfortable in their own skin know this. They know these are no more than the spiteful words of those who are dealing with their own issues.

You – the real you – are not the “fat” one or the “stupid” one or the “boring” one.

Don’t allow people from your past to define the person you are today. Release these labels and learn to forge your own identity.

5. They don’t try to meet the expectations of others.

An elderly woman with gray hair and a younger woman with brown hair sit facing each other in a well-lit room. The elderly woman tenderly adjusts the younger woman's hair while they both smile. A beige armchair and modern decor are visible in the background.

This is your life – not someone else’s. And as such, you should feel free to live it how you wish.

Other people might hold certain expectations of you, but if these do not match with your own aspirations, you should not factor them into your thinking.

It doesn’t matter if your parents or partner or friends want you to be one thing if you’d rather be another.

When people are comfortable in their own skin, it’s because it’s a skin of their choosing.

6. They don’t try to be all things, or even the best at one thing.

A young woman wearing a white scarf, orange sweater, and blue jeans appears surprised as she is steadied by a man in a white sweater while ice skating. They are on an indoor skating rink, and the man, who is positioned behind her, is helping her balance.

No one can be good at all things. And few people can be the best at one thing. People who are comfortable in their skin know that attempting to be either of these is a recipe for self-loathing.

Why?

Because you’ll never feel satisfied. There will always be something else that you are not good at. You will never be the best at any one thing.

And you will feel like a failure because of it.

Instead, people who are comfortable in their skin try to be good at a few core things that really matter to them. Not perfect, but good.

They recognize that they are good at these things and they are content with that.

7. They notice the parts of themselves that they like.

A woman with curly hair smiles brightly while standing outdoors in sunlight. She is wearing a green shirt, and her hand is raised to her head. The background is blurred with hints of trees and buildings.

People tend to spend lots of time focusing on all the things they don’t like about themselves – both physical and in terms of personality.

But people who are comfortable in their own skin spend time noticing parts of themselves that they really quite like.

Like great hair or a really nice set of teeth. Or being a generous person or someone who can be relied upon.

Whatever qualities you have that make you feel good about yourself, focus on these. The more positively you look at yourself, the more comfortable you’ll be in your skin.

8. They view flaws as areas of potential growth.

A man with glasses and gray hair works intently on a laptop at a table in a modern kitchen. He is wearing a blue sweater, and there is an open notebook with a pen nearby.

People who are comfortable in their skin aren’t delusional though. They do see things about themselves that they don’t like, but they don’t bemoan them or see them as flaws in an otherwise positive self-image.

They reframe them as areas in which there is room to grow.

And if they can’t change them, they find ways to accept them as they are. This is also a form of personal growth.

9. They live in line with their beliefs.

A diverse group of four people sit together in a circle, engaged in discussion. One person holds a notebook, another a laptop. The setting is a well-lit room with soft natural light coming through large windows.

People who are comfortable with themselves don’t do things that don’t sit well with them.

They don’t try to live up to the expectations of others as mentioned above. They don’t do things that feel wrong according to their own internal moral compass.

You can never feel comfortable with who you are as a person until your actions match your personal philosophy for life.

10. They don’t seek the approval of others.

A man with long hair tied back is standing on a beach, looking off into the distance. He is wearing a light gray V-neck T-shirt. The background features a calm sea and a hazy, out-of-focus shoreline. The atmosphere is bright and sunny.

Another way some people engage in things that don’t feel right is by trying to get the approval of other people.

They act in a certain way because that’s what other people are doing. They feel the need to fit in with the crowd and win the favor of certain influencers in their community – whether that’s school, work, or a group of some kind.

They become actors, playing a role to make other people like them.

But not people who are comfortable with their true, authentic selves. They know that presenting a false self like this – a mask to gain popularity – only ever leads to discomfort in your own skin.

11. They don’t worry about what other people think of them.

A woman with long hair smiles warmly while looking back at the camera. She is outdoors on a sunny day, with a blurred background of trees and parked cars.

The reason people who are comfortable in their own skin don’t seek approval is simple. They don’t care what others think of them.

By worrying what other people think of you, you allow their potential thoughts – not even their actual thoughts – to become your thoughts.

You hand over power to someone who doesn’t even know they have it.

Hold on to this power and use it to form your own thoughts about yourself and how YOU think of you.

12. They surround themselves with people who accept them as they are.

Three elderly women are smiling and walking arm-in-arm on a beach. One woman wears a pink hooded top, another wears a wide-brimmed hat and a beige top, and the third woman wears a yellow hooded top. The ocean is visible in the background.

When you are with people who don’t judge or criticize or want you to be someone you’re not, why wouldn’t you feel comfortable in your own skin?

You enjoy your own company, knowing that these people are enjoying it too.

You can just be you.

Pretty liberating, right?

13. They don’t say yes when they want to say no.

A woman with brown hair pulled back is outside, wearing a black jacket and a maroon top. She has white earphones in and is holding a fist near her chin, smiling slightly, with a backdrop of sunlit, blurry green foliage.

There are times when it can be beneficial to push beyond your comfort zone and do things that scare you and excite you in equal measure.

But there are just as many times when you should feel able to say no to something that really doesn’t appeal to you.

Being forced into something that you really don’t want to do is a sure-fire way of feeling uncomfortable in your own skin. And that’s why people who love and respect themselves just don’t do it.