13 Ways To Appreciate Your Partner If You Find It Hard To Tell Them

Don’t assume they know.

A woman with long blonde hair is joyfully hugging a man indoors. She is smiling broadly, and they both appear happy. The room is well-lit with natural light coming through large windows in the background.

In the busyness of everyday life, we often forget to appreciate all the many things our partner does for us each day. Perhaps we even think we shouldn’t need to express our gratitude because they should just “know”. But that’s a surefire recipe for resentment and unhappiness in a relationship.

Never assume your partner knows how you feel. If you appreciate them (and hopefully you do), let them know.

If you’re not one for words or grand gestures, here are several other ways to show them how grateful you are.

1. Give them a massage.

A woman with curly hair leans over a man sitting on the floor, smiling and giving him a shoulder massage. The man has his eyes closed and a relaxed expression. They are in a cozy living room with shelves filled with books and a couch in the background.

If they’ve had a stressful day or are feeling a little under the weather, cheer them up by giving them a massage.

Neck and shoulder massages are great to relieve tension and can help with headaches too.

A foot massage will work wonders if they have been on their feet all day.

Or go the whole hog and give them a full body massage as they lay there and relax.

2. Tell them that you miss them.

A woman in a white sweater stands outdoors, smiling while looking at her phone. She carries a black bag over her shoulder. The background features a modern building and trees under a clear sky.

Whenever you are apart for more than a day or two, don’t be afraid to tell your loved one that you miss them.

This communicates to them how much you value having them in your life.

It shows them that you don’t take them for granted and that your life is improved by their presence.

3. Believe in them.

A couple walks along a sunlit path in a forest, smiling at each other. The man wears a red shirt over a gray t-shirt, and the woman wears a dark blue long-sleeve shirt. Sunlight filters through the trees, casting a warm glow.

Your partner is bound to have many goals and dreams. These matter to them, so they should matter to you.

Support them as they seek to achieve things, whether that’s in their career, their health, or something else.

Tell them and show them that you believe in them, their abilities, and their conviction.

4. Ask them for their advice.

A bearded man in a pink shirt is chopping yellow bell peppers on a wooden cutting board in a modern kitchen. A woman with long blonde hair, in a gray shirt, is sitting on the counter beside him, holding a tablet and smiling. A bowl of fresh vegetables sits nearby.

If you are not sure what to do in a particular situation, ask them about it.

By going to them for advice, you are demonstrating your trust in them. You are saying that their opinion matters a lot to you.

This shows your appreciation for them by placing a value on their thoughts, ideas, and opinions.

5. Reciprocate.

A happy couple sits at a dining table decorated with lit candles and a variety of foods, including bread, salad, and fruits. The woman, smiling, reaches across the table to touch the man's cheek, creating a warm and intimate ambiance in a cozy kitchen setting.

When your partner does something nice for you, no matter how small, take the time to think of a way that you could repay the favor.

That doesn’t have to be straight away, but by reciprocating one kind gesture with another, you are building a circle of appreciation for one another.

6. Send them off with their friends occasionally.

Four women are sitting at an outdoor table, smiling and talking while holding glasses of rosé wine. The setting appears to be a sunny day in a park or garden, with greenery in the background.

Sometimes the best way to show someone how appreciative you are of them is to respect their need to have a life of their own.

This means suggesting to them that it’s about time they went out and let their hair down with their friends.

This is particularly effective if you know your partner prioritizes you and your family over everything else.

It’s saying, “Thank you for all that you do for me/us, but it’s time you put yourself and your friends first for once.”

7. Put away your phone.

Two people are sitting in a modern living room. A woman in a yellow sweater and ripped jeans sits on the floor, leaning against a gray couch, while a man in a red sweater and jeans lounges on the couch, looking at his phone. They appear to be in a conversation.

When you’re with your partner, be with them – fully.

That means putting any potential distraction to one side and focusing on them, what they are saying, and often what they are not saying.

Turn your phone/tablet/TV off and put down anything else you may be looking at.

When you talk to them, be there in the room, not somewhere else in your head.

People can tell when someone isn’t listening properly, so try your best to really engage with them as they speak.

8. Make them feel secure.

A couple stands closely on an outdoor balcony, their foreheads touching. The woman, wearing a red jacket, gently holds the collar of the man's denim jacket. Both have their eyes closed in a tender moment. City buildings and a handrail are visible in the background.

Your partner may sometimes doubt themselves, their worthiness, and even your love for them.

Reassure them often that they are the person you see a future with, that you accept them just the way they are, and that you know how great they are, even if they don’t always see it.

9. Trust them.

A man and woman sit at a cafe table, each with a cup of coffee. They are engaged in conversation, and the woman is smiling warmly while resting her head on her hand. The background shows a modern, minimalistic interior with shelves and a TV screen.

Trust is one of the key foundations of a successful relationship.

Trust is also a great way to show your appreciation for your partner.

When you trust them and make this clear to them, it shows that you believe in them and their judgment.

You know that they will do what’s right and what’s best for the both of you.

10. Phrase your requests politely and respectfully.

A smiling elderly woman with short blonde hair and a younger man with short brown hair are having a friendly conversation in a bright kitchen. The woman is wearing a striped blue shirt, and the man is in a light blue shirt. Kitchen items are visible in the background.

Sometimes you’ll have to ask your partner to do things. Perhaps you need their help with the chores or to plan a journey somewhere.

If you want them to feel appreciated – and not nagged – make your requests in a polite way.

It shows respect for their time and energy and makes them more likely to agree happily rather than begrudgingly.

11. Work on yourself and your bad habits.

Two people, a man and a woman, sit across from each other at a café table, smiling and giving each other a high-five. They have coffees and pastries on the table, and the café has a minimalist wooden interior with small plants on the tables.

A great way to show how grateful you are to have your partner in your life is to work on your own shortcomings.

We all have aspects of our personality that we might like to change. We also have bad habits.

Some of these things might be a source of irritation to your partner.

So to show them how much you care about them, why not try to address these things?

12. Be willing to apologize when you upset them.

A man and woman are in a cozy room with a window to their right. The woman, with blonde hair and wearing a striped sweater, is hugging the man from behind. The man, with short hair and wearing a green sweater, is working on a laptop. A cup and lamp are on the table.

No relationship is perfect. You will do things that upset your partner.

But this is where respect comes back into the equation. If you truly appreciate someone, you’ll be willing to swallow your pride and admit to any wrongdoing.

By saying sorry, you are acknowledging the hurt you caused. It also conveys the desire not to do it again.

13. Cut them some slack.

A man with curly hair and a reddish shirt and a woman with shoulder-length blonde hair and a mustard yellow shirt smile warmly at each other while sitting on a couch. They appear happy and engaged in a light-hearted conversation.