11 Reasons You Look Forward To Being Apart From Your Spouse

Do you look forward to “getting away” from your spouse sometimes?

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When you’re in a loving and committed marriage, it’s normal to want to spend lots of time with your partner. However, there might also come a point in your relationship where you need a break from them, and that is okay! Time apart can not only help to strengthen your bond and appreciate each other more, but also help you feel more like yourself. Here are 12 reasons why you may look forward to being away from your spouse—and how it, at times, can be beneficial.

1. You need to reconnect with yourself.

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You may consider your spouse to be your “person” because of similar personality traits or interests. But when you spend all your time with them, it’s easy to lose sight of who you were before you met them. Time apart can allow you to rediscover personal interests and goals that you pushed aside to focus on building a life with your partner.

2. You want to rediscover old hobbies—or discover new ones.

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Were you an avid hiker or runner before you met your spouse, but not as much now that you are together? Or is there a new art class you want to try that your partner has no interest in doing with you? An afternoon or an evening to yourself is the perfect opportunity to engage in hobbies you like or are interested in when your spouse isn’t.

3. You’re overwhelmed.

A woman with a distressed expression rests her forehead on her hand. She is seen through a glass, which partially blurs the image. The soft lighting and close-up focus highlight her contemplative demeanor.

Relationships—especially romantic ones—can be intense at times, and when tension rises between you and your spouse during rough patches, so do your emotions. You may simply find that being apart from your spouse allows you to find a little peace and quiet, inside and out. You don’t have to handle their feelings, and you can put your feelings to one side too (if you’re able to). This respite can feel amazing.

4. You’re not getting enough quality time together.

A woman and a man are sitting on a couch, both holding red mugs. The woman, on the left, is pointing a remote control towards the TV. Both appear to be watching something on the TV. A clock and some home decor are visible in the background.

Sometimes, the reason you need to get away is because time spent together is not satisfying time. Sure, you may be in the same room as them physically, but if distractions like social media, video games, or work at home get in the way, it can feel incredibly lonely. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, so time apart can reignite the excitement you feel when you spend time with your spouse.

5. You’re having trouble communicating.

A distressed man with gray hair and beard holds his head in his hands while sitting on a couch. Behind him, a woman with blonde hair, wearing a yellow top and jeans, sits with her arms crossed, looking away. Shelves with books are in the background.

Confronting your spouse about your feelings or concerns can be daunting, especially if you are prone to anxiety. But when you’re apart from them, you don’t have to discuss these emotive issues. Now, we’re not saying you should avoid having difficult discussions, merely that it might explain why you feel relieved when you’re not around them.

6. Your spouse is getting on your nerves.

A man and a woman are in a kitchen, both standing barefoot. The man, wearing a denim shirt over a white t-shirt and dark pants, has his arms crossed and leans against the counter. The woman, in a brown apron and jeans, is holding a spoon and standing in a yoga pose.

As much as we love our partners, there are times when they can annoy us. And the more time spent together, the more irritated you might start to feel by their behavior. Time away from each other can give you the opportunity to recharge and prevent the little nuisances from turning into bigger problems later on.

7. Your relationship with your spouse has become codependent.

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Do you find that when you’re with your partner, you use all your time and energy to give them what they ask for while ignoring your own needs? This is one of the main signs of a codependent relationship, which can destroy your self-esteem. Perhaps you relish being away from your spouse because you finally get a chance to focus on yourself for once.

8. You haven’t spent much time with your friends and family.

Four people are seated around a table, enjoying a meal together. The table is set with various dishes, including a salad, bread, and other foods. The setting appears to be a home with large windows in the background, allowing natural light to illuminate the scene.

When you spend the majority of your free time with your spouse, it can be easy to put your family and friends in the backseat of your life without even knowing it. Some time apart from your partner gives you the opportunity to reconnect with your other loved ones and lean on them for support.

9. You think your spouse takes you for granted.

A woman with curly hair is seated indoors, resting her head on her hand, looking thoughtful or concerned. She wears a green blouse and a white top. In the background, a person is sitting on the floor, blurred and out of focus. The mood is contemplative.

Could it be that you enjoy spending time away from your spouse because you feel you carry more than your fair share of the practical and emotional load? Maybe that’s true, but it might also be that you do not see or appreciate the things they do. Either way, you probably feel some resentment, and resentment can make you want to get away from them for a while.

10. You need to reflect on your relationship dynamics and goals.

A person with short, styled hair and a trimmed beard rests their chin on a hand, gazing thoughtfully to the side. They are wearing a white shirt, and the background is softly blurred.

Distance from your partner can offer a fresh perspective on your relationship. During this time apart, you can take time to evaluate what’s working, what isn’t working, and whether your personal goals are aligned. It can also help you get in touch with what you truly love about your spouse.

11. You don’t love them anymore.

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Feelings toward your spouse will inevitably ebb and flow, especially if you spend all your time together. But if you find yourself wanting to spend less and less time with them, it might be because you don’t feel the same about them as you used to. This is a more serious issue you may want to address, but it’s important to remember that your feelings are valid.