People who are ambitious but have hidden insecurities display these 12 behaviors

Disclosure: this page may contain affiliate links to select partners. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Ambition and insecurity make uncomfortable bedfellows for many.

A man in a dark suit stands outdoors in front of a building with arched windows and a garden. He has short brown hair and a white shirt, and he appears to be talking or making a statement.

Ambition and insecurity often form an unexpected alliance, driving individuals to great heights while simultaneously anchoring them with self-doubt. This complex interplay manifests in various behaviors that may seem contradictory at first glance. Let’s dive into the fascinating world of high achievers who harbor hidden vulnerabilities.

1. They talk down their successes.

A young woman with long, straight hair wearing a brown hat and a white T-shirt is looking down while smiling slightly. The background is blurred but appears to be a shop with shelves lined with jars.

Ever met someone who brushes off compliments like they’re swatting flies? These individuals have a knack for diminishing their accomplishments. When praised, they might mutter, “Oh, it was nothing,” or quickly change the subject. Behind this modesty lies a fear of appearing arrogant or drawing unwanted attention.

Celebrating success becomes a Herculean task for these ambitious yet insecure souls. Even in private, they struggle to bask in the glow of their achievements, constantly fixating on perceived shortcomings or future challenges.

2. They long for praise for their achievements.

A man and a woman in business attire are shaking hands and smiling in an office with a brick wall. Another woman in the background is seated at a desk, clapping and smiling. An open laptop and a plant are also visible on the desks.

Despite their outward modesty, these high achievers secretly long for recognition. They yearn for others to voice the praise they can’t bring themselves to express. It’s as if they’re waiting for someone to finally confirm their worth, to prove that their efforts haven’t been in vain.

The internal conflict is palpable: an inability to celebrate personal wins coupled with an intense desire for others to do so. When the anticipated accolades don’t materialize, disappointment and frustration often follow.

3. They are always pushing to achieve more, to be more.

A man in a white shirt sits at a desk, focused intently on a laptop screen. His hands are clasped in front of his face, conveying deep thought. The desk has a mug, glasses, a pen, and notepad. The room is well-lit with natural light.

For these individuals, the finish line is always moving. They set new goals before the dust has settled on their latest accomplishments, driven by an insatiable need for improvement. While this ambition fuels their success, it often stems from a deep-seated belief that they’re never quite good enough.

The constant striving can be both a blessing and a curse. It propels them to great heights but leaves them feeling perpetually unsatisfied, always chasing the next big thing.

4. They seek unattainable perfectionism.

A stressed man sits at a desk with two laptops, surrounded by crumpled papers. He holds his head with one hand while writing on a sheet of paper with the other. Shelves with books and a closed door are visible in the background.

Perfection becomes both the holy grail and the albatross around their necks. These ambitious individuals set impossibly high standards, scrutinizing every detail in their quest for flawlessness. The pursuit of perfection can lead to procrastination, as fear of falling short paralyzes progress.

While perfectionism can yield exceptional results, it also breeds anxiety and self-doubt. The gap between their ideal and reality becomes a constant source of frustration, feeding their insecurities despite outward success.

5. They can’t handle criticism or feedback.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a white shirt and a beaded necklace, has her eyes closed and is grimacing. She is covering her ears with both index fingers. The background is a solid teal color.

Constructive criticism feels like a personal attack to these high achievers. Their fragile self-esteem interprets even well-intentioned feedback as confirmation of their deepest fears: that they’re inadequate. Defensiveness or anger often surface when faced with suggestions for improvement.

Ironically, their desire for perfection clashes with an inability to accept guidance that could help them get closer to it. This sensitivity creates challenges in professional and personal relationships, as others may hesitate to offer valuable input.

6. They measure themselves against the success of others.

A woman with long, curly hair is seated at a desk, looking stressed. She's wearing a beige blazer and resting her elbows on the desk, with her hands on her temples.

These ambitious yet insecure individuals habitually measure their achievements against those of others. Social media exacerbates this tendency, providing an endless stream of curated success stories to fuel their insecurities. The grass always seems greener on the other side, leaving them feeling inadequate despite their own accomplishments.

While comparisons can motivate, they also rob these individuals of contentment. There’s always someone who appears to be doing better, keeping them in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction.

7. They project self-criticism onto others.

A man with short brown hair is smiling widely and pointing upwards with his right index finger. He is wearing a blue button-up shirt and standing against a plain white background.

Unable to fully confront their own insecurities, these high achievers often unwittingly project their self-criticism onto those around them. They may become overly critical of colleagues or friends, holding them to the same impossibly high standards they set for themselves.

Projection serves as a defense mechanism, allowing them to externalize their inner turmoil. By focusing on the perceived flaws of others, they temporarily distract themselves from their own self-doubt.

8. They overwork themselves to prove their worth.

A woman with glasses and dark hair sits at a desk with her open laptop in front of her. She rests her head on her hand, appearing stressed or tired. A small potted plant is also on the desk. Light filters through window blinds in the background.

For these individuals, work becomes more than just a job; it’s a means of validation. They push themselves to the brink of burnout, taking on extra projects and working long hours to prove their value. Work-life balance often suffers as they equate productivity with self-worth.

This relentless pace stems from a deep-seated fear that they’re not inherently valuable. By constantly going above and beyond, they hope to silence their inner critic. However, such an unsustainable rhythm can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion.

9. They struggle with imposter syndrome despite their achievements.

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a white blouse, stands indoors with a thoughtful expression. She rests her chin on her hand, looking downward. Large windows in the background reveal an outdoor parking area.

Success does little to quell the nagging feeling that they’re frauds about to be exposed. Imposter syndrome plagues these high achievers, convincing them that their accomplishments are due to luck rather than skill or hard work. Each new challenge brings fresh waves of self-doubt.

Their persistent feeling of being an imposter can hold them back from pursuing new opportunities or speaking up in important situations. The fear of being revealed as inadequate becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, limiting their potential despite evident capabilities.

10. They are highly competitive.

Two men in business suits and ties crouching in starting positions on a running track, ready to race. The background shows a blurred stadium with empty seating. The image symbolizes competition in the business world.

Competition brings out both the best and worst in these ambitious yet insecure individuals. They thrive on challenges, often performing at their peak when pitted against others. However, the prospect of losing can trigger intense anxiety and self-doubt.

Winning becomes more than just a goal; it’s a necessary affirmation of their worth. Losing feels like a personal failure that confirms their deepest insecurities. Having a win-at-all-costs mentality can strain relationships and create unnecessary stress.

11. They constantly seek validation from authority figures.

Two people are working together in an office. The man, in a suit and glasses, is holding a document and discussing it with the woman, who is using a laptop. They are surrounded by office supplies, plants, bookshelves, and a window in the background.

Approval from those in positions of power holds immense weight for these ambitious folks. They crave recognition from bosses, mentors, or industry leaders, often going to great lengths to impress them. The need for validation stems from deep-seated insecurity about their own judgment and abilities.

While seeking guidance from experienced professionals can be valuable, a constant need for external approval can hinder independent decision-making. It may also lead to a reluctance to challenge authority or express dissenting opinions.

12. They can’t bring themselves to ask for help.

A man wearing glasses, a striped blue shirt, a pink tie, and a gray sweater is looking to his right with a concerned expression, biting his nails, against a gray background.

Asking for assistance feels like admitting defeat to these ambitious yet insecure individuals. They often struggle silently with challenges rather than reaching out for support, fearing that doing so will reveal their perceived inadequacies. This reluctance can lead to unnecessary stress and missed opportunities for growth and collaboration.

Ironically, their refusal to ask for help often stems from a desire to appear competent and in control. By avoiding vulnerability, they miss out on the potential for deeper connections and shared learning experiences.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.