18 Signs Of Autism In Women And Girls That Are Frequently Missed Or Overlooked

These autistic traits are often missed in women and girls.

A person with short blond hair and black-rimmed glasses is gazing intently at the camera. They're wearing a colorful patterned sweater and resting their chin on their hand. The background is softly blurred.

Autism in women and girls often presents differently than in their male counterparts, leading to frequent misdiagnosis or late identification. Societal expectations and gender norms play a significant role in shaping how autistic traits manifest and are perceived. Here we explore 17 signs of autism in women and girls that are commonly overlooked, offering insights into the diverse ways autism can present across genders.

1. Unconscious and conscious masking (which comes at a cost).

Three people wearing nametags are engaged in conversation while holding coffee cups. One man in a suit is sipping his drink, while two women are smiling. They appear to be at a professional event or conference.

Masking (or camouflaging) refers to the process of suppressing autistic traits to appear more neurotypical. In women, in particular, this begins unconsciously at a very young age, driven by intense societal pressure on girls to conform socially. It can involve mimicking others’ social behaviors, scripting conversations, or suppressing stimming (which we’ll talk about later).

This can later evolve into a conscious effort to fit in and ensure safety in a world that does not fully understand or accept neurodivergence. While autistic boys might be given more leeway for social differences, girls face stricter expectations, leading to more intricate and exhausting masking. This can make autism significantly harder to identify in females and can lead to mental health struggles and burnout over time.

2. Sensory overwhelm that is less outwardly obvious.

A person with short curly hair and wearing a yellow shirt is leaning against a wall, looking thoughtful. The background is a blurred street scene.

Processing sensory information differently is a hallmark of autism, but in women and girls, it may manifest in subtle ways. Due to societal expectations of composure, an autistic woman might silently endure uncomfortable sensory experiences rather than visibly react. For instance, she might quietly retreat from a noisy environment instead of covering her ears, making her sensory differences less apparent to others.

3. A more direct and honest communication style.

A woman with long brown hair wears a dark shirt and sits on a couch in a living room. She looks directly at the camera with a slight smile and raised eyebrows, holding both index fingers up. A bookshelf and a potted plant are visible in the background.

Autistic women may use forthright communication patterns that are often misinterpreted. While directness in boys might be seen as a typical autistic trait, in girls it may be viewed as rudeness due to gender expectations of social finesse. An autistic woman’s straightforward communication style might be misconstrued as intentional insensitivity, rather than recognized as a valuable neurodivergent trait.

4. Emotional dysregulation resulting in shutdowns (and meltdowns).

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a white blouse, stands indoors with a thoughtful expression. She rests her chin on her hand, looking downward. Large windows in the background reveal an outdoor parking area.

Experiencing emotions intensely is common in autism. However, girls are often taught from a young age to suppress strong emotions, leading autistic women to internalize their feelings more. This internalization can lead to a “shutdown” in overwhelming situations. A shutdown often involves an inability to speak or communicate, an inability to process information, and/or withdrawal to somewhere quiet and isolated. Because shutdowns are less visibly disruptive than meltdowns, they might go unnoticed or be misinterpreted as shyness or introversion, particularly given societal expectations for women to be calm and composed.

Autistic women and girls do also experience “meltdowns”, which are more outward explosions of emotion, but they often happen in the privacy of their own home after an exhausting day of masking and internalized sensory overwhelm.

5. Attention to detail that manifests as perfectionism.

A woman with dark hair, tied in a ponytail, is seated at a wooden desk in an office, analyzing a chart with a pencil. Two computer monitors, a keyboard, a mouse, a glass of water, and open documents are on the desk. The background shows bookshelves and large windows.

Noticing and focusing on minute details that others might overlook is common in autism. In women and girls, this trait might manifest as perfectionism in schoolwork or personal appearance. While boys’ intense focus on details might be more readily associated with autism, girls’ perfectionism might be seen as a personality trait or anxiety, rather than an autistic characteristic, often leading to underdiagnosis.

6. Differences in empathy expression (not a lack of empathy).

Two women indoors, one in focus looking concerned and the other slightly blurred, facing away. The background is softly lit, suggesting a home or casual setting.

Autistic individuals often experience deep empathy but may express it in ways that don’t align with neurotypical expectations. Women and girls might be particularly affected by this misunderstanding due to gender norms that emphasize emotional expressiveness. An autistic woman’s unique way of showing empathy might be misinterpreted as coldness, when in reality she may be feeling others’ emotions extremely intensely.

7. A commitment to social justice and truth.

A group of people wearing light blue shirts and gloves are participating in an outdoor clean-up activity. They are collecting trash and debris in blue plastic bags on a grassy area with trees in the background under a sunny sky.

Many autistic individuals have a strong sense of fairness and a commitment to truth. In women and girls, this might manifest as passionate advocacy for social causes or a refusal to engage in social niceties they perceive as dishonest. While this trait is powerful and admirable, it can also lead to social difficulties if it clashes with gender expectations of agreeableness that women are subjected to.

8. Repetitive behaviors that are less obvious.

A smiling person wearing glasses and a white shirt stands outside. They have curly hair and are wearing headphones around their neck. The background is lush and green, with blooming white flowers.

Autistic women and girls may engage in repetitive behaviors that are less stereotypical than those often associated with autism. For example, they might listen to the same song repeatedly or watch a favorite TV show on a loop. These behaviors might be seen as typical interests or habits rather than recognized as autistic traits, particularly if they align with gender norms.

9. Intense and select friendships.

Two women stand outdoors, smiling at the camera. The woman on the left has light curly hair and is wearing a white top, while the woman on the right has dark hair with bangs and is wearing a black top. They have their arms around each other, with a scenic background behind them.

Autistic women and girls often form intense one-on-one friendships or bond with a select few, rather than participating in larger social groups. This preference might be seen as shyness or introversion rather than an autistic trait. The depth and loyalty of these friendships can mask challenges in other areas, making it harder to recognize autism.

10. Stimming behaviors that are less obvious.

A woman stands in an urban setting with blurred buildings in the background. She wears a dark hat and a grey coat, with one hand adjusting her coat and the other touching her face. She has long, dark hair and a thoughtful expression.

Self-regulating behaviors, or stimming, in autistic women and girls may be less obvious or more socially acceptable than those typically associated with autism. While hand-flapping or rocking often draws attention, an autistic woman might stim by twirling her hair, fidgeting with jewelry, doodling, or repeating words or phrases in her head. These subtler forms of stimming often go unnoticed or are not recognized as autistic traits.

11. Advanced language development.

A woman and a young girl are lying on a couch, smiling at each other. The woman is holding an open book, and the girl is pointing at it. They appear to be enjoying a reading moment together. The background shows a cozy living space with shelves and various items.

Autistic girls often have stronger early language and reading skills compared to their autistic male peers, which can mask other autistic traits and might lead parents and professionals to overlook other signs of autism. Autistic women are often masters at observing social interaction, and as a result, they learn to use social scripts and follow neurotypical rules for conversation, thus masking their communication differences. As we mentioned though, this bending of their natural traits isn’t without cost to their mental and physical health and self-esteem.

12. Eating disorders and restricted eating behaviors.

Two women sit at a dining table engaged in an animated conversation. One woman, wearing a white and pink striped blouse, gestures with her hands, while the other, in a pink sweater vest, looks at her with a surprised expression. Plates of food and cups are on the table.

Autistic women and girls are at higher risk of developing eating disorders or exhibiting restricted eating behaviors. This can stem from sensory sensitivities to food textures or tastes, a need for control in an overwhelming world, or black and white thinking patterns. Unlike typical eating disorders, these behaviors in autistic individuals are sometimes (but not always) less about body image and more about comfort, routine, or managing sensory experiences. The hyperfocus and rule-following often seen in autism can exacerbate these eating patterns.

Unfortunately, healthcare providers often miss the connection to autism, especially in women, leading to treatments that don’t address the underlying neurodevelopmental factors contributing to the eating behaviors. This can exacerbate the problem and even result in complex trauma.

13. Internalizing challenges rather than externalizing them.

A person with long red hair wearing a dark sweater looks pensively out of a window. Sunlight filters through blinds, casting striped shadows on their face. The window reflects a mix of green foliage and sky.

Autistic women and girls often direct their struggles inward rather than outward, often leading to anxiety or depression instead of more visible outward behaviors. Eating disorders are also more common in autistic women and girls. This internalization is partly due to societal expectations for girls to be calm and composed. While a boy’s autistic traits might be noticed through disruptive behavior, a girl’s silent struggles might go unrecognized, delaying diagnosis and support.

14. Experiencing autistic burnout which is mistaken for depression.

A woman in blue pajamas sits on a bed with her hands on her head, looking distressed. The room has white walls, a window, and a small bedside table with a bowl and a cup. Natural light illuminates the room.

Experiencing periods of intense exhaustion from sustained masking is more frequently reported by autistic women. This burnout can manifest as a loss of skills, increased meltdowns and shutdowns, or withdrawal from social interactions. Because women are often better at masking, their burnout might be misinterpreted as depression or anxiety, rather than recognized as a consequence of long-term camouflaging.

15. A strong love of animals (but not always).

A woman with brown hair smiling and gently holding a fluffy brown rabbit close to her face. She is wearing a green knitted sweater and appears to be enjoying the affectionate moment with the pet. The background is softly blurred, focusing attention on the pair.

Many autistic individuals, particularly women and girls, exhibit a strong affinity for animals. This deep connection might be due to the straightforward, non-judgmental nature of animal interactions. While a love of animals is common in many people, the intensity and preference for animal company over human interaction in autistic women can be distinctive, though it may be overlooked as a sign of autism.

16. Less inclination to follow gender stereotypes.

A person with short brown hair and glasses is smiling while looking to the side. They are wearing a striped shirt and are outdoors with a blurred green background.

Autistic women and girls often display a more flexible approach to gender norms and expectations. They may be less influenced by societal pressures to conform to traditional feminine roles or appearances. This could manifest as a preference for practical, comfortable clothing over fashion trends, disinterest in makeup, or pursuit of interests typically associated with other genders. It’s important to note this isn’t always the case though, as we’ll discuss below.

17. Or conversely, gender-conforming special interests and hyperfocus.

A fashion designer in a gray suit sits in front of a board displaying various garment sketches. They are looking thoughtfully at the drawings, which include designs for dresses and outfits in different colors and styles.

Conversely to the sign above, autistic women and girls may have interests that appear more socially acceptable or gender-conforming, making them less noticeable as autistic traits. For example, an intense interest in fashion, makeup, animals, or literature might be seen as a typical “girl” interest, rather than the focused, all-consuming passion it truly is.

An exceptional ability to concentrate on tasks of interest is a hallmark of autism. In women and girls, this might manifest in areas traditionally associated with femininity, such as reading, art, or certain academic subjects. Because of this, these interests may not be recognized as autistic hyperfocus, unlike stereotypically male interests in topics like trains or computers.

18. Elaborate and complex imaginative play.

A young child with curly hair kneels on the carpet next to a plush bunny, holding a red toy medical kit. Another child, standing and facing away, watches. They are playing in a bright, tidy room with toys and books on a white shelf in the background.

Engaging in complex imaginative play or storytelling can be more prevalent in autistic girls than boys. This trait can mask other autistic characteristics, as imagination was once thought to be lacking in autism (it’s not). An autistic girl’s rich fantasy world or elaborate pretend play might be seen as typical behavior, overlooking the intensity, rules, and detail that could indicate autism.

Finally…

A person with short, light-colored hair is seated and reading a book against a light brick wall. They are wearing a white shirt and appear to be focused on the book.

Understanding the diverse ways autism presents in women and girls is crucial for early identification and support. It’s important to note though, that boys and men can present with this more internalized profile of autism, and those that do often go undiagnosed too.

If you or someone you know resonates with these signs, it may be worth exploring further. Remember, autism is a spectrum, and each individual’s experience is unique and will present differently. This list is by no means exhaustive. Seeking professional identification or community support from other autistic individuals can provide clarity and open doors to better self-understanding and validation.