9 Psychological Reasons You Feel Like Everyone Hates You

“Why does everyone hate me?”

A woman with long red hair leans against a brick wall, looking contemplative. She is wearing a white shirt, and the background shows a staircase with dim lighting.

Many people struggle with the idea that others hate them. They may feel like they aren’t important, socially isolated, or did something wrong to earn hate.

But here’s the thing, hatred is a powerful emotion. It’s raw, visceral, and flooded with anger.

Chances are pretty good that if someone hated you, they would not be shy about that fact. They would actively seek conflict with you, telling you how terrible of a person you are, and possibly worse.

Hate is an ugly and powerful thing.

Sometimes the brain lies to us and makes us believe things that may not accurately reflect reality. That is often the case when it comes to feeling everyone hates you.

There are some different psychological reasons that you may feel this way. Here are 9 of them.

1. Cognitive Distortions

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A cognitive distortion is a habitual way of thinking that is often inaccurate and negatively biased.

Some examples include feeling like everyone hates you (obviously), that anything you try is doomed to failure, or that life will never get better no matter what you do.

These kinds of beliefs aren’t rooted in reality. Now, to be clear, life can be hard. Life can absolutely, mercilessly kick you around and stomp on you when you’re down. But to think that all of life will be that way or that you’re doomed to only suffer isn’t accurate.

2. Catastrophizing

A man in a plaid shirt gently places his hands on the shoulders of a woman in a pink sweater. The woman looks away, appearing thoughtful. They are indoors with a curtain in the background.

Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion where the person’s mind immediately jumps to the most negative, worst-case scenario there can possibly be.

“Oh, I had an argument with my boyfriend; he probably hates me now.” This kind of thinking isn’t reasonable and may be driven by trauma, low self-esteem, surviving abuse, and a host of other mental health issues.

3. All-or-nothing Thinking

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All-or-nothing thinking is another cognitive distortion that causes one to view circumstances in extremes.

For example, Sadie may not like Hunter. Hunter interprets that dislike to mean that Sadie hates him and wishes him harm. But that isn’t really what dislike is about. Dislike is far milder than hatred. She may not wish him harm or hate him at all. She just doesn’t like him, which is fair and reasonable. Sadie is entitled to her own opinion.

Another example is viewing every friend as a best friend. However, that person may not view you as a best friend. Maybe they view you as a more casual friend, and the two of you have misaligned expectations of the relationship.

4. Mental Health Conditions

A woman sits on a couch, resting her chin on her hand with a thoughtful expression. She is in a bright room with soft lighting, and a wooden table with a small lamp is visible in the background.

A variety of mental health conditions can create and amplify negative thoughts. For example, paranoia may be a symptom of mental illnesses like anxiety disorder, panic disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, personality disorder, etc.

It’s not unusual for people with a mental illness to sometimes experience negative and persistent thoughts that others might hate them. In addition, mental health problems often create and facilitate examples of stark, black-and-white emotions.

5. Insecurity

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Low self-worth and self-esteem can cause people to believe that they just aren’t good enough to be valued or wanted. That can translate into believing that the people who care about you actually hate you.

In that case, it’s less about what other people feel and more about how you might be feeling about yourself.

Those insecure feelings can come from surviving child abuse, domestic abuse, C-PTSD, personality disorders, and other problems.

Insecurity may also stem from a shaken belief in yourself. Maybe you’re going through a hard time in your life and you’re not feeling good about yourself. For example, a career-driven person may feel worthless if they lose their job because they equate their value with their job, which is bad.

6. Loneliness

An elderly woman with long hair looks contemplatively to the side while sitting in a bright kitchen with white tiled walls and shelves.

Loneliness is a troubling epidemic that’s been trending up in recent years. The internet has brought the world together but isolated us in the process. Many people struggle with social interactions, social anxiety, and difficulty making friends offline.

Online friends can be quite valuable. Those kinds of friendships can be incredibly deep and fulfilling. But they don’t fulfill the same needs that offline relationships do. People take different cues from face-to-face conversations and relationships that simply don’t exist in online relationships.

It’s easy to feel like everyone hates you if you’re lonely and don’t really have anyone. But maybe you have people in your offline life who love and care for you. Maybe you haven’t been able to spend any quality time with them. It may not be that they hate you. They may just be busy with the hustle and bustle of life.

7. Bullying

A woman looks troubled and sad while sitting at a table. In the foreground, two people are whispering to each other. The scene suggests the woman may be feeling left out or gossiped about by the others. The setting appears to be an office or meeting room.

Bullying, either online or offline, is a vile practice that can cause the person who is being bullied to feel ostracized and hated.

Frankly, the bully may not actually hate the person they are bullying. They may be angry at themselves and taking it out on the world around them. They may even be abused or bullied, so they’re taking out their anger on other people. It’s not right, but it happens.

And you may even have run into someone who is just an a**hole that wants to make other people miserable because it brings them joy or fulfillment.

None of these reasons are about you and aren’t legitimate. You can dislike or even hate someone without victimizing them. Instead, they could just choose to mind their own business and live their life. Of course, that doesn’t solve the problem, but it’s something to keep in mind.

8. High Sensitivity

A woman with a sad expression sits alone in the foreground of a café, looking down. In the background, three people sit together at a table, with two of them looking in her direction. The scene suggests a sense of isolation and contemplation.

A highly sensitive person is hypersensitive to the fluctuations of social relationships. These individuals tend to feel their emotions more strongly, for better or worse. They may interpret ambiguous or negative feedback in a far more powerful way than someone who is not highly sensitive.

Instead of taking that kind of feedback neutrally, they take it personally, whether it’s valid or not. Sometimes it is. No one’s perfect. Accepting feedback and looking at it critically is important for self-improvement and nurturing healthy relationships. Not every piece of ambiguous or negative feedback is valid.

9. Stereotyping

Two men in business attire work on laptops, sitting side by side. The man on the left seems to be looking sternly at the man on the right, who is focused on his laptop. They are in a well-lit office with a white brick wall in the background.

We live in a politically divisive time. We also live in a time where we are bombarded with news about the worst of humanity on a 24/7 basis.

You may feel isolated and alone because of what’s going on in the world today. If you’re a Person of Color or someone who isn’t an upper-class straight, white male, it would be reasonable to feel like society is failing you with all of the political and social problems that are going on.

It would be easy to conclude that many people hate you or want to see harm done to you. Most don’t. But there is an obnoxiously vocal minority who get a lot of attention and can taint your view of the wider population.