Do you feel incompetent?
Sometimes the feeling of incompetence swoops in unexpectedly. One minute you’re feeling fine and the next you feel like you’re not good at anything.
One day, you think you’ve got a hold of things and then you feel as though you can’t remember which shoe goes on which foot.
You may also find that there’s a particular area of your life where you constantly feel inadequate. Maybe it’s at your job. Or you feel incompetent as a partner or a parent. There’s just something about the situation or a particular person that makes you feel like a bumbling idiot.
Fortunately, there are several things you can do to boost your self-esteem and overcome these negative emotions. Below are 14 suggestions to try to help you feel more confident and empowered.
1. Appreciate your achievements.
It’s easy to overlook our achievements when we’re feeling incompetent. And when we’re feeling this way, it’s usually because our minds are fixed on our failures or areas where we’re falling short.
But appreciating and celebrating our successes can have a positive impact on our self-confidence and self-esteem.
Acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small they seem, helps you to recognize your capabilities. It helps you to build a positive image of yourself.
Reflect on your accomplishments, whether it’s a work-related task, a personal goal, or a new skill. Give yourself credit for your efforts, progress, and achievements. Don’t downplay your successes.
Practice self-compassion by being kind to yourself. Remember, you are capable of achieving great things. Recognizing your achievements can help you shift your focus to a more empowered mindset that reinforces your confidence and self-worth.
2. Assess if the problem is you or your environment.
Usually, when we’re feeling inadequate, we assume we’re the problem. But sometimes we feel this way because of the negative or toxic environment we’re in.
As such, you need to assess if you’re the problem or if your environment is. Your lack of confidence could be because of external factors, such as a toxic work environment, an unsupportive boss/partner, or unrealistic expectations.
Objectively evaluate your situation. Figure out if there are external factors contributing to your negative feelings. This reflection exercise may reveal that your feelings of inadequacy are not entirely your fault and thus relieve you of unnecessary self-blame.
It can also empower you to take the steps to address the issue affecting your confidence and self-esteem, whether by setting boundaries or possibly changing your environment.
3. Accept and learn from your failures.
Failure is a part of life. Everyone experiences failures or setbacks at some point. This is a fact that we often forget. So we end up dwelling on our failures and beating ourselves up over them.
It’s time to change your perspective on your failures. You need to accept your failures and see them as learning opportunities. View them as valuable experiences that can help you to grow and improve.
As you reflect on your failures, identify areas where you can improve. Come up with an improvement plan.
Embrace a growth mindset that sees failures as stepping stones toward success rather than stumbling blocks. By learning from your failures, you develop resilience, gain new insights, and build confidence in your ability to overcome challenges.
It’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure you use them as opportunities for growth and learning. Don’t use them as reasons to doubt your competence.
4. Accept your feelings.
Accepting your feelings is an essential step in improving your confidence and self-esteem.
It can be easy to dismiss or ignore negative emotions, such as self-doubt or inadequacy. But ignoring or suppressing your feelings may intensify them, making them feel more overwhelming.
Instead of bottling up your emotions, try to acknowledge and accept them without judgment. Everyone experiences self-doubt at times. It doesn’t define your worth or abilities.
By accepting your emotions and permitting yourself to feel them, you gain a better understanding of yourself.
Work toward addressing the root causes of your insecurities.
5. Ask for feedback.
Asking for feedback from others can be a powerful way to boost your confidence and improve your self-esteem.
Sometimes, when we’re feeling incompetent, we get stuck in a negative headspace where our thoughts don’t reflect reality.
Asking for feedback from people we trust is a chance for us to gain a more accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses. This can help us to focus on our areas of expertise and take steps to improve in areas where we need to grow.
It can also help us see ourselves more objectively and challenge any negative self-talk we may be experiencing.
Ask for constructive feedback from trusted colleagues, friends, or family members. Remember to listen to their comments and keep an open mind. Use them to fuel your growth and development.
6. Take on a challenge.
This may seem counterintuitive since you’re already battling with feelings of inadequacy. But taking on a new challenge can be a great way to deal with your feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem.
You could try learning a new skill, taking up a new hobby, or volunteering for a new project at work. Challenge yourself to do something different.
It’s a positive way to push yourself to grow and develop new skills. Taking on a new challenge allows you to prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving great things.
You’re showing yourself that you are capable of stepping out of your comfort zone.
Of course, taking on a new challenge can be difficult. So it’s important to choose something that’s also realistic and achievable.
7. Ignore negative comments.
One thing you should keep in mind is that not everyone’s opinion matters. Particularly when it comes to your mental health and how you perceive yourself.
Ignoring negative comments from others is a great solution to overcoming feelings of incompetence.
Negative comments can sometimes impact our self-esteem and make us doubt our abilities. However, we must realize that not all feedback is constructive or valid. People have different perspectives and opinions. Not everyone will appreciate or understand your unique strengths and abilities. And that’s ok. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
However, it’s also okay to filter out negative comments that are unhelpful, unfair, or unfounded.
Instead of dwelling on criticism, focus on feedback from trusted sources or those who genuinely support your growth and development. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting influences.
Your self-worth is not determined by others’ opinions. Learning to ignore negative comments can help you maintain a positive mindset and build confidence in yourself.
8. Practice self-compassion.
When we make mistakes or feel like we’ve failed, it’s very easy to be hard on ourselves. However, practicing self-compassion can help us be kinder toward ourselves and more understanding of our mistakes and failures.
Instead of criticizing yourself for not meeting your expectations or goals, treat yourself with the same kindness and care you would offer a friend who is going through difficult times.
This means acknowledging your mistakes and setbacks, but also recognizing that everyone makes mistakes. You’re doing the best you can.
So, be gentle with yourself, acknowledge your efforts and progress, and give yourself permission to learn and grow.
Practicing self-compassion can improve your self-esteem, reduce your anxiety and depression, and help you cultivate a more positive and nurturing relationship with yourself.
9. Get training.
Your feelings of incompetence or inadequacy may be coming from the fear that you don’t have enough knowledge or education in a particular area.
Getting training or additional education could be a proactive and empowering solution to your negative feelings.
We all have an area where we could use some improvement and growth. Seeking out training or professional development opportunities are positive ways we can build our skills and knowledge.
Whether you take a course, attend a workshop, or seek mentorship, investing in your development can boost your self-confidence and help you gain the competence you desire in a particular area.
It’s okay to acknowledge areas where you feel you are lacking. Take action to address them. Be open to learning and improving.
10. Delegate.
Feeling overwhelmed and inadequate at work can be tough. One solution that could help you overcome this is delegation.
If there are areas of your job where you feel weak, try delegating those tasks to someone else who may be more skilled or have more experience in them. You could also try delegating work when you’re overwhelmed with your deliverables.
Delegating tasks can help you focus on your strengths and build your confidence, while also ensuring that tasks are being handled efficiently and effectively.
It can empower and build trust within your team or colleagues, helping to promote collaboration and foster a supportive work environment.
It’s not a sign of weakness or inefficiency to delegate. Rather, it’s a strategic move to optimize your productivity and effectiveness. So, don’t be afraid to ask for help and trust in your team’s abilities to get the job done. You don’t have to do it all alone.
11. Look for another job or consider a career change.
If you’ve been feeling consistently inadequate in your current job despite your best efforts, it may be time to look for a new job.
You may feel as though you’re admitting defeat by doing this, but you have to prioritize your mental health.
Recognize that not all work environments are the right fit for everyone. It’s okay to explore other opportunities that align better with your skills, interests, and values.
Explore different career opportunities that truly resonate with you. Don’t worry about whether it’s too late to make a career change. Because it’s never too late to switch careers and pursue one that brings you fulfillment and satisfaction. Your career should be a source of inspiration and growth.
12. Work on your mental health.
Taking care of your mental health is something we should all do regularly. But it is especially important when you’re struggling with your mental health.
If you suspect that a mental health illness or challenge is behind your feelings of incompetence, seek help from a licensed therapist.
Working on your mental health is an essential step in feeling more confident and improving your self-esteem. Your mental health has a significant impact on how you feel about yourself and your abilities.
Take the time to prioritize your mental health by getting professional help, practicing self-care, and incorporating healthy habits into your daily routine.
Make time for activities that promote your mental well-being, such as getting enough sleep, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.
When you address any underlying mental health concerns, you’ll start to feel more in control and confident. This will ultimately lead to a more positive and fulfilling life.
Seeking help for your mental health is a sign of strength, not weakness.
