Anger and hatred are such pure feelings.
It’s funny listening to people that have never experienced that level of anger before. They always talk about how awful you must feel because you’re angry. These people don’t seem to understand that anger and hatred make a confusing life and world so simple.
And frankly, if you’re the kind of person who enjoys being angry, loves conflict, and wants to experience the adrenaline that comes with testing yourself against other people, well, there’s no better drug.
But, and there’s always a but, here’s the problem with anger and hate. Anger and hate make you blind. Blind to a lot of wonderful things about life, the harm you’re causing to your loved ones, and the damage you’re causing to your life. That’s not even counting the ugliness you put into the world that negatively affects the targets of your hate.
That doesn’t feel good if you aren’t actually a terrible person. And most people who think and say hateful things aren’t terrible people deep down.
So why are they so full of hate then? Well, it’s usually a combination of at least some of these factors and experiences.
1. Unresolved trauma.
People who have unresolved trauma may experience negative feelings, depression, anger, or hatred. They may feel rage at the person or situation that harmed them.
For example, those who have been through a natural disaster may feel anger toward institutions that failed them, such as the government or aid agencies that didn’t provide the kind of help they needed.
Some combat veterans come back from their deployments with hatred and anger toward the people they were fighting from the stress of combat, losing friends, and whatever they had to do in the line of duty.
People who have experienced child abuse, domestic abuse, sexual assault, or have been victims of crime may rightfully feel anger and hate for those who wronged them.
Trauma comes in many different flavors. Its core is a negative emotional experience that leaves a lasting mark on the way people move through the world.
2. Ideological differences that separate them from others.
People who adopt an “us vs. them” mentality fuel anger which fuels hatred. One could almost think of it as a rolling wheel. The more anger they feel, the more hatred it fosters, the angrier they get, the more hatred it fosters, and on and on the wheel spins until they decide to stop it.
Ideological differences aren’t always because of maliciousness, though. Sometimes they are just the result of ignorance. For example, there are plenty of rural, white communities all over America where no people of color live. Or, if they do, only one or two families may live there. It’s not unusual for white folks from these communities to change their views when they go to college or move to a different city. They can actually meet different people and see past the rhetoric and BS that the actual racists in these communities push.
And speaking as someone who grew up in one of those areas, it’s a hell of a lot more common than people realize.
3. General or social anxiety.
Many people don’t realize that anxiety and anxiety disorders can cause anger issues. Anxiety causes over-stimulation in a person’s brain, which can project outward in many ways.
People with anxiety often try to build consistency or predictability in their lives. If that predictability is disrupted, it can cause them to be angry at life or the people who caused the disruption. That anger can boil over because they are just looking for a little peace, but life will not let them have it.
4. Extreme stress from life, work, or other responsibilities.
The world is a difficult place. People who experience resentment and anger toward their station in life can easily foster a dislike of everyone. That anger makes them into “useful idiots,” to borrow a phrase from economist Ludwig von Mises. These people are blinded by their ideological beliefs, anger, and hatred to be manipulated into pushing an aggressive agenda.
It’s easy for people to be angry and even to hate those who have it better than them. That hatred is a potent weapon for bad actors. They use it to steal angry people’s time, money, and attention away from making their own lives better. Anger is one of the easiest ways to keep people engaged and tuning in to social media and the news.
5. Burnout and exhaustion from trying to just get by.
People experiencing burnout and exhaustion may develop feelings of anger, resentment, and even hatred. Poverty is extremely stressful. Hell, even being middle-class can be stressful right now. People are buried in debt, student debt, living paycheck-to-paycheck, and struggling to keep their heads above water. People working multiple jobs don’t feel like they’re making any progress. And, if they’ve shopped for houses or tried to rent recently, they find that prices are completely unreachable and unreasonable.
The problem with burnout and exhaustion is that they completely tap out your emotional reserves. People who have reached that point will respond with anger to problems, be easier to sweep up into negative rhetoric, and fuel hatred. It’s a big problem that our society faces.
6. Jealousy and envy.
We’ve already touched on socioeconomic factors; let’s look at something more personal. People who feel jealous or envious of others’ qualities may develop dislike and hatred toward them. Perhaps it’s someone who is better looking than them, smarter than them, or has some other qualities that make them see that person as somehow superior to them. They may perceive them as a jerk, even if they’re not, because their own anger and judgment are causing them to pigeonhole that person into their perception of who they are. Envy and jealousy add nothing to their life and only serve to rob them of peace and happiness.
7. Self-hatred for their own shortcomings.
People who experience self-hatred often struggle with a powerful, painful feeling. It’s hard when you look in the mirror and can only see ugly things about yourself. Maybe they don’t feel like they’re smart enough, good enough, or worthy enough.
The setbacks of life can be easy to take personally. For example, if a person does poorly in college, they may beat themselves up about not being smart enough to do that. Or if they have a bad relationship with a romantic partner or their family they may tell themselves they are not good enough or worthy enough for loving, healthy relationships.
Whatever they feel those shortcomings are, they aren’t necessarily true or fair assertions of who they are as a person. Besides, everyone has shortcomings and things they wish they were better at.
8. Deeply ingrained negative thinking.
You can’t grow positive thoughts in a negative mind. That’s a sentence that took on a whole new weight and meaning for me, the writer, while I was working to address my severe Bipolar-depression. The world is awash in brutality, negativity, pain, and suffering. It’s hard not to give your focus to the spectacle of negativity, but the simple truth is that focusing on the negative only fosters more negativity.
Yet some people don’t want to do things like think positively or be around happy people. Most of the time, it’s just a stark, glaring reminder of the peace and happiness they lack. For people who are consumed by negativity, thinking positively and being around happy people mostly just makes them more bitter, angry, and resentful.
9. Excessive grudge-holding and resentment.
People can be terrible sometimes. They do things that leave lasting damage, suffering, and pain in their wake. That kind of harm leaves trauma, and trauma can foster rage and hatred that’s hard to let go of.
Sometimes it’s not that severe, though. Maybe it’s someone who did them wrong in a way that they experienced no justice for. That leaves a pretty bitter taste in their mouth.
People just love the saying, “What goes around comes around.” But that isn’t always true. There are plenty of terrible people out there who will face no justice at all for the ugly things they did, and that can be a hard pill to swallow if you’ve been at the receiving end of their behavior.
10. The desperate need to win and always be the best.
Some people feel like they must win at everything they do. And if they don’t win they are somehow less than. Does it make them angry? Sure. Does it make them hate the person who succeeded… or themselves for not being good enough? Sometimes.
This kind of behavior often stems from childhood trauma or neglect, particularly when a parent or guardian withholds love as a punishment for a failure. That kind of behavior reinforces the child’s need to be productive, do something, and do well at it so they can earn love and affection. This, of course, is toxic. It’s toxic because love and affection aren’t a currency to be earned.
11. Undiagnosed or uncontrolled mental health conditions.
People with undiagnosed or uncontrolled mental health problems may experience heightened feelings of hatred, anger, and resentment. Those kinds of extreme emotions may actually be symptoms of mental health conditions in many cases.
Honestly, there isn’t a whole lot to say about this one. Anxiety disorders, mood disorders, trauma disorders, and more can all contribute to extreme emotions and emotional instability.
If a person can’t nail down why they’re experiencing hatred, or they’re having a hard time with extreme feelings, then it may be worthwhile to be screened for mental health conditions.
