People who become overly involved in your life display these 12 pushy behaviors

Some people just want to be too involved in everything you do.

An older woman with gray hair appears frustrated, gesturing with her hands while sitting on a couch. A younger woman next to her, with brown hair tied back, looks upset with her head down, resting her hand on her forehead.

It’s nice when people show that they care about you or want to help you, but it’s another situation entirely if they get controlling or try to enmesh themselves into your life. If someone is displaying the following behaviors, you might want to create some distance between the two of you.

1. They make personal decisions for you.

A man and a woman in business attire are sitting at a dining table in a restaurant, with wine glasses and menus in front of them. The man is looking at the menu, while the woman is looking at the camera with a thoughtful expression. A waiter is taking their order.

While you might happily listen to someone’s opinion on what to wear or what to eat, you likely wouldn’t appreciate it if they made those decisions for you. For example, if you’re out for a meal with them, they might inform the wait staff of what you’ll have instead of asking you first.

2. Most of their conversations begin with “You should…”

Two women are in a brightly lit room. One, with curly blonde hair and wearing a yellow shirt, is standing and pointing, appearing angry. The other, with straight dark hair and wearing a white shirt, is sitting on a bed looking confused and defensive.

Few people like to be told what to do, especially if they aren’t consulted about their personal needs, preferences, or abilities. Those who are overly involved in your life will often dictate all the things you “should” be doing from their perspective, without considering your individual wants or capabilities.

3. They’re quick to transgress your boundaries.

A woman with long blonde hair stands outside an urban building, looking directly at the camera. She is wearing a tan coat over a blue-and-white pinstriped shirt and holds her hand out in front of her, with her palm open and facing the camera.

They always have a valid reason to do things like open your mail, let themselves into your house if they have a spare key, and so on, and it’s inevitably about “helping you”. Similarly, your parents might contact your doctors without consent to get test results even though you’re legally an adult.

4. They don’t listen when you say “no”.

Two women are engaged in conversation outdoors. The woman on the left, with dark hair tied back, is facing another woman who has a curly hair, dressed in a white coat and a red knitted hat. The background is slightly blurred, hinting at an urban setting.

No matter how often you say “no”, you don’t want the thing they’re offering, or don’t want to do something, they don’t listen to you. When you finally get upset and are firm about the “NO”, they’ll say that you’re being rude or difficult, and they’re just trying to help.

5. They talk about you in a group setting as though you aren’t even there.

A group of people sitting around a wooden table enjoying a meal and drinks. Various dishes, including salads and appetizers, are spread across the table, along with glasses of red wine. One person in a yellow shirt is smiling and holding a fork.

If you’re out for a meal with friends or family members and someone asks you a direct question, they’ll answer it for you as though you’re incapable of independent thought or speech. Alternatively, they’ll talk about things that are going on in your life as if you’re not actually present.

6. They show up when they’re not invited.

A person wearing sunglasses and a blue sweater is smiling while knocking on a green door.

You may be holding a dinner party or hosting an event for a particular group, and they’ll show up without an invitation, because you don’t mind them being there, do you? Depending on the individual, they might even curl up nearby when you have a date over to watch a movie.

7. They try to dictate your hobbies and pastimes to you.

Four people are jogging together on a park path surrounded by lush green trees. They appear to be enjoying a sunny day, wearing comfortable athletic clothing and running shoes. The scene conveys a sense of fitness and camaraderie.

No matter what it is you’re interested in doing, they have something better, healthier, or more interesting for you to do instead. You might love to do yoga, and they’ll buy you running shoes, or if you like to read, they’ll sign you up to take a woodworking class with them.

8. They constantly ask very intrusive questions.

They’ll often ask you questions that they’re completely unentitled to know the answer to, and then get offended if they’re told that it’s none of their business. They want details about your intimate life or health issues, and seem hurt if you call them out on how inappropriate their inquiries are.

9. They try to shame and manipulate you if you try to break away from them.

Two women sit at a table; the woman on the right, in a yellow shirt, appears to be speaking or expressing frustration, gesturing with her hands. The woman on the left, in a denim jacket, looks away with a neutral or indifferent expression.

If you let them know that you need some space, or that their behavior is intrusive, they’ll try to turn it around like you’re simply ungrateful for everything they do for you. They might even suddenly fall ill or get injured because you’ve upset them so badly with your cruelty.

10. They include themselves in your future plans.

They seem to believe that their future plans are intimately entangled with your own. For instance, if you mention that you and your partner are thinking about moving to another area, they’ll ask what type of job prospects are available for them out there, since they’ll obviously move too to stay close.

11. They insert themselves in every aspect of your life.

A smiling woman with dark hair in a loosely tied updo, wearing a light pink blouse with a white collar, waves at the camera. She stands against a plain white background.

You might go over to your in-laws’ house to find this person already there, since they’ve befriended them and now consider themselves part of the family. Or you’ll show up to work to discover that they’ve gotten a position with your company too, so they can see you every day!

12. They take over under the guise of “helping” and become hostile if you rebuff them.

Two women sit on a couch in front of white curtains. The woman on the left, with red hair in a bun, is placing a comforting hand on the shoulder of the woman on the right, who has dark hair pulled back and is looking down with a somber expression.

They’re so eager to “help” that they take over whatever you’re doing and get offended if you object. In their mind, since they’re better and more experienced, they should be allowed to take charge and do things right for your benefit. After all, they only have your best interests at heart.