Self-saboteurs rarely reach their potential because of these habits.
There are many people out there who were always told that they had “so much promise”, yet never seemed to live up to their potential. In many cases, it’s because they’ve self-sabotaged every opportunity that arose with habits like these:
1. Refusing accountability for mistakes and missed opportunities.
If they slept in late and missed a job interview, then it was their parents’ or spouse’s fault for not waking them, rather than their own for not having set multiple alarms. Basically, whenever they screw up, it’s because someone else failed them, rather than their own irresponsibility.
2. Ending a relationship or contract before another person ends it for them.
Those who feel like a situation or relationship is too good to be true will often take the initiative to walk away first, even if there’s no imminent ending in sight. It’s often less painful to ruin a good thing intentionally because that way they have control over how things unfold.
3. Screwing up choices for advancement to avoid stress.
A person who doesn’t want the stress, responsibility, or potential failure in a higher-ranking position might mess up advancement interviews so they’re forced to remain in their current role. For example, someone in the military might spend their career at a lower rank because they’re comfortable there, and afraid of change.
4. Doing too much, too soon, and then giving up.
If someone suddenly decides to get in shape, they might throw themselves into fitness and work out for several hours a day. This isn’t sustainable, and often leads to injury… which will make them lose the gains they’ve worked for, leading to them give up instead of regrouping and taking things slowly.
5. Finding excuses as to why they can’t do the thing.
There’s always a reason why they can’t do a thing that’ll benefit them. They can’t go back to school for the degree they’ve always wanted because they have too many household responsibilities. Or they can’t take the job opportunity in another country because their relatives will miss them too much.
6. Trading one unhealthy coping mechanism for another.
Some people have coping mechanisms for stress and upset that can hinder their personal advancement. If they’re confronted about their unhealthy reliance on illicit substances or TV addiction, they might swap those out for junk food and social media instead. Essentially, they’re seeking the comfort and soothing of familiarity and easy engagement.
7. Procrastination.
Why do something today that can be put off for several months, and then lamented about when said procrastination has dire repercussions? Whether a person is struggling with executive function or not, refusing to take care of an issue when it arises inevitably results in it worsening over time.
8. Not resting enough.
You can’t draw from an empty well, but many people fail to meet their full potential because they never allow themselves to stop and rest. A person who’s sleep deprived won’t be able to function properly, but type A personalities often feel that resting makes them lazy and self-indulgent.
9. Giving up at the first setback.
Some folks who never reach their full potential are perfectionists who quit anything if they aren’t immediately amazing at it. In reality, anything worth doing is going to take a lot of time and practice, which will inevitably involve setbacks and failures. Nobody is an expert on their first try.
10. Assuming that something “won’t work” so they don’t bother trying.
This applies to many different circumstances, ranging from physical or emotional therapy to various approaches to one’s work or craft. They may choose to ignore the various options available to them because they “just know” that they won’t be successful, or sabotage half-hearted attempts, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.
11. Being punitive if they feel they’ve fallen short of their mark.
They may allow small setbacks to dictate their actions for long periods of time. For instance, if they cheat on the healthy diet they’ve been following for months, they’ll indulge in comfort foods for several weeks to punish themselves for a moment of perceived weakness, since to them, one misstep = failure.
12. Refusing to accept something because they’re too afraid of losing it.
For many people, achieving something they want is terrifying to them because they’re so afraid of it being taken from them. In their minds, it’s better to never attain their greatest dream because that hurts much less than getting it, and then losing it—either by their own actions or someone else’s.