If you do these 11 things, you're taking life (and yourself) way too seriously

Do you take life too seriously?

A woman with long hair, wearing a white t-shirt, lies on a bed with a concerned expression. She rests her head in her hands, looking downward. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a serene indoor setting with some greenery.

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re freaking out over what you perceive to be a catastrophic event, but no one else seems to think it’s a big deal?

Are you overly conscious of the way others view you?

Do you constantly worry that you’ll embarrass yourself?

Does your reputation or image stop you from trying certain experiences because of how it would look?

Do you find it difficult to admit when you’re wrong or don’t know something?

If you said yes (or struggled to say no) to several of these questions, you likely take yourself or life too seriously. Let’s take a look at 11 more signs just to be sure.

1. Comparing yourself to others.

Two businesswomen in professional attire, one in a navy suit and the other in a beige suit, are engaged in a conversation in a bright, modern office space. In the blurred background, two men are also conversing near a window with a city view.

We live in a competitive society. From childhood, we’re compared to other people to get us to behave or do better. That comparison either gets us to change our behavior or shut down because we feel we can never measure up.

As adults, we continue to compare ourselves to other people and compete against people who are busy living their lives. We undervalue our accomplishments because we feel they are not up to what so-and-so is doing. Because we feel our lives don’t compare to others, we cannot appreciate what we have.

Comparison occupies you with pursuing things, people, and experiences you don’t really want, just to keep up with others. And as result it makes you take life, and yourself, way too seriously.

Everyone is different. We all have unique abilities and are on a different path in life. Figure out what your abilities are and what your path is. Focus on that instead of letting comparison steal your joy and self-confidence.

2. Spending too much time wondering what other people think about you.

Two men are seated at a desk in an office, working on a laptop. One man is typing while the other listens attentively. They are dressed in business attire. A window with a cityscape is visible in the background, along with a small plant.

Have you ever been certain that everyone was talking about you? Maybe you were at a party and you just knew that you were the topic of discussion.

It was pretty obvious. You walked into the room, and the music immediately screeched to a stop. Everyone suddenly stopped talking and, as if in unison, they turned to look at you as they glared and whispered.

Put like that, it sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it? Yet you think it nonetheless.

In actuality, human beings are pretty selfish creatures. We are only concerned about ourselves and the things that affect us. If you or your issues don’t impact us in any way, we’re not likely to care beyond a few minutes, if at all. To put it bluntly, no one is checking for you.

When you think about it, it’s pretty arrogant to assume that everyone is worrying about, talking about, or looking at you.

The world does not revolve around you, buttercup. Stop wondering what other people think because they’re probably not thinking about you at all.

3. Trying to get everyone to like you.

Three men are standing indoors, smiling and talking. Two of them are holding coffee cups. The man on the right, wearing an orange jacket and with tattoos, is patting the shoulder of another man in glasses and a light green sweater.

You can’t please everyone all the time. No matter how awesome you are, some will just not like you, maybe even hate you. Yet still you try.

It’s ok to not be everyone’s cup of tea.

Trying to get everyone to like you is a surefire way of doing the exact opposite. Not only will you waste your time and energy, but you may also find that you turn people off with your people-pleasing antics, thereby increasing the pool of those who dislike you.

The worst part is you’ll end up not liking yourself. So save your time, your energy, and your mental health by liking you first and surrounding yourself with others who do as well.

4. Getting easily stressed and having poor coping mechanisms.

A woman with long blonde hair sits on a couch, eyes closed, gently massaging her temple with her fingers. She appears to be experiencing a headache or stress. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a bright, calm room.

We get cranky when we’re stressed. When the pressure builds up, it’s hard not to take yourself too seriously.

Poor coping mechanisms to deal with the stress only serve to exacerbate the problem. Instead of finding healthy ways to deal with stress – such as exercise, meditation, or talking to friends – you resort to unhealthy habits like excessive drinking, overeating, or isolating yourself. These behaviors increase your stress levels further and make you even more prone to taking life too seriously.

5. Assuming the worst in people.

Two men in suits are engaged in conversation in a white room. One man, facing forward, has his arms crossed, while the other has his back to the camera.

Yes, it could have been deliberate. It’s quite possible the person is just a jerk and said what he said or did what he did just to hurt your feelings. But it’s also possible the person didn’t think their comment through and didn’t mean to offend you.

One perspective will keep you brooding over the insult and hurt feelings, while the other will allow you to move on.

Despite that, you always assume the worst in people rather than giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Let’s be clear, giving people the benefit of the doubt does not mean allowing them to abuse you or take you for granted. Once is an accident, twice is poor judgment or a lapse in memory, three times it’s a habit that needs to be shut down.

6. Being too attached to your routine.

A man in a suit enjoys a croissant and holds a cup of coffee while standing in a modern kitchen. A woman in the background, also dressed in business attire, pours herself a drink from a kettle. Croissants and a plate of fruits are on the counter.

Are you a stickler for routine? Is your day shot to hell if one little thing doesn’t go according to plan? A routine is supposed to help increase productivity. But life is such that it is impossible to plan everything out. Trying to do so will only end in frustration. There has to be room for the unexpected.

If you’ve become a servant of your routine, rather than it helping you to be more effective in managing your schedule, it will send you into freefall every time something doesn’t go to plan. And really, how often do things go to plan in life?

Try to get comfortable with the unpredictable. Depending on how much of a control freak you are, you may need to start small otherwise it’s likely to have the opposite effect and lead to even more overreaction.

7. Not laughing enough.

A man and a woman sit at a table, both resting their heads on their hands, appearing bored. They have coffee cups in front of them in a bright kitchen setting.

According to the Mayo Clinic, there are many short- and long-term benefits of laughter, such as relieving pain and improving the immune system. It also puts you in a more positive mood, where you’re better able to see the humor in situations and not take life as seriously.

How much time do you spend laughing, surrounded by funny people who don’t take themselves or life too seriously? Probably not much. So turn off the news and stop watching violent shows and movies. Instead, watch comedies and shows that will make you laugh.

When you spend time laughing, not only are you relieving stress, but you’re better able to see the humor in situations that would have been overwhelming before.

8. Pursuing perfection and putting yourself under unnecessary pressure as a result.

A man in a teal shirt sits at a desk with his head in his hands, appearing stressed. A computer monitor displays documents, and a pair of glasses rests on the table. A woman works in the background in an office setting.

Chances are you’re measuring yourself up against a pretty high bar, one you’re not likely to reach. This puts you under unnecessary pressure. Because you can’t meet up to your impossible standards, you spend most of your life feeling inadequate.

So stop pursuing perfection and embrace your imperfections. In your imperfection lies the opportunity for growth. The best part is that no one else is perfect either. We all are struggling to be better versions of ourselves.

9. Letting fear of embarrassment hold you back.

A man in a suit is partially hidden behind a laptop screen. He is looking intently at the camera. The desk in front of him is cluttered with crumpled paper, a pen holder containing pens and scissors, and other office supplies.

Fear of embarrassing yourself makes you desperate for the approval of others. You worry you’ll look stupid in front of people, often strangers, so you stick to what you feel is acceptable behavior or you censor your personality to not attract positive or negative attention to yourself.

The fear of shame and embarrassment kills our drive. We shut down and ignore our desires to avoid being laughed at or being hurt. As a result, we remain stagnant because this fear keeps us from trying new things and stepping out of our comfort zone. This fear stops us from moving forward.

Stop being less than who you are to gain the approval of outsiders. Don’t silence your voice to make others comfortable. If they can’t handle all of you, then they don’t deserve any of you.

10. Feeling like you need to prove yourself and your abilities because you’re insecure.

Two women are engaged in a conversation at an office table. One woman with curly hair and glasses is speaking, holding a pen. The other woman, with straight hair, listens attentively with her chin resting on her hand. A laptop and pink mug are on the table.

Your insecurities play a huge role in how seriously you take yourself and life. The more insecure you feel about your abilities and who you are, the more you are likely to overreact in situations that seemingly expose your vulnerabilities. In areas or situations where you feel more confident, you are probably better able to handle issues that arise.

Insecurity often stems from a fear of not being good enough or a constant need for validation from others. This can lead to a vicious cycle where you’re always trying to prove yourself, taking every setback as a personal failure, and viewing constructive criticism as an attack on your character.

When you accept that you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy, you’ll find it much easier to navigate life’s challenges without taking everything so seriously.

11. Letting other people’s opinions shape who you are.

Two women are sitting at a table, engaged in a conversation. One has dark hair and is wearing a white top, and the other has blonde hair and a light beige top. A white teapot, cup, and glasses of water are on the table in a bright, airy room.

When we take ourselves too seriously, we take others too seriously as well. That’s why their opinions hurt us and why we struggle for their approval. We all struggle with it at different stages. We struggle to be comfortable in our skin. Sometimes we worry that our loved ones don’t really love us for who we are. Many times, we don’t even love ourselves.

We let their judgment define our identity and accept the labels they give us. We change into somebody else.

To stop taking ourselves so seriously, we must let go of our ego, set aside our “reputation,” stop looking for the approval of others and become shame-resilient.

We must accept and love ourselves.

If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this: you don’t have to struggle to remember the truth. When you are your authentic self, you don’t struggle to keep up pretenses.

Some people may not like the real you. Others will. But most importantly, you will like yourself more.