People who do these things are not the nice characters they claim to be.
Have you noticed that many people who make a big display of being “nice” usually turn out to be complete nightmares? Keep an eye out for the following 12 behaviors, as they often offer insights into people’s true natures behind the “nice” facade.
1. They constantly talk about how nice they are.
People’s behaviors are usually self-evident, and folks are rarely what they claim to be. As such, if someone is constantly going on about what a nice, good person they are, they’re likely overcompensating massively. If they were as nice as they think they are, they wouldn’t have to broadcast it.
2. They like to make jokes, but can’t take them in turn.
They’ll make funny little jokes at other people’s expense, but get incredibly offended or upset if others turn those jokes around on them. Essentially, they’re paper tigers: they like to be the one dishing things out (supposedly playfully), but can’t take it when the tables are turned.
3. They pull power trips with serving staff.
These are the people who will send food back repeatedly if there’s any perceived issue with it, or insist that a barista re-makes their drink several times over until it tastes perfect. There may be nothing wrong with the item they ordered at all: they simply enjoy power-tripping.
4. They never take responsibility for any wrongdoing.
If they say or do anything that hurts or upsets someone else, they’ll gaslight them or get passive-aggressive. Some of the comments they’ll use defensively may include non-apologies like “I’m sorry you took it that way”, or they might imply that they were just reflecting the energy they were given.
5. They take neutral comments as personal attacks.
You might make a comment about how much you enjoy fresh orange juice, and they’ll think that you’re insulting them because they served packaged juice when they invited you to brunch last month…and if that’s how you feel, you horrible person, don’t expect them to invite you over ever again!
6. They boast about all the kind things they do for others.
They can’t do any volunteer work or donate to charity without announcing everything they’ve done. All they do needs to be seen and acknowledged by their peers and those they hold in high esteem, otherwise what’s the point? Kindness for its own sake doesn’t offer much reward for them.
7. They use condescension and one-upmanship about others’ experiences instead of support or encouragement.
You went downhill skiing for the first time last weekend, and enjoyed it? Oh, that’s so sweet! They’ve been going skiing in Switzerland since they were little, but don’t worry —you’ll get the hang of it all after a few tries. Maybe you’ll be able to afford decent skis one day too.
8. They litter.
Many people who claim to be “nice” have no problems dropping garbage on the street or throwing it out the window, claiming that doing so will give someone else a job to do. They’ll leave meal waste for others to clean up, and won’t hesitate to toss things where others will have to deal with it.
9. They change the subject if they aren’t interested in what you’re saying.
They’ll feign superficial interest in what you’re saying, as long as you don’t go into detail about it. If you talk about something you love (but they have little interest in) for longer than a couple of minutes, their eyes glaze over and they’ll change the subject to something they prefer, instead.
10. Their involvement in other people’s lives is inconsistent.
Essentially, they can’t be depended upon to be there when others need them. Rather, they weave in and out of other people’s lives in order to get their own needs and whims met, and when a situation doesn’t serve them directly, they find excuses to remove themselves from it.
11. They have something unpleasant to say about everyone.
They may be nice and friendly to people when they’re around, but they’ll say truly awful things about them as soon as their backs are turned. If they’re being two-faced to others and insulting them as soon as they leave the room, you know that they insult you too.
12. Schadenfreude.
If they laugh at someone else’s misfortune, or find great humor and amusement if somebody gets hurt, that’s a huge red flag. Most of us will giggle if someone sneeze-farts, especially if it’s at school or at work, but finding sincere joy in someone else’s pain is deeply disturbing behavior.