If you don't want others to judge you negatively, say goodbye to these 12 behaviors

People will judge you horribly for these 12 behaviors.

A person with curly hair, wearing round glasses, has an expression of surprise with mouth open and eyes wide. The hand is adjusting the glasses. The background is plain and light-colored.

You’ve probably come across plenty of people who berate others for judging them — either online or in person — seeming to expect that people should accept their atrocious behaviors unconditionally. Reality doesn’t work that way though, so if you don’t want to be judged poorly, it’s on you to curb the behaviors listed below.

1. Transgressing people’s boundaries (which includes not checking their boundaries before you act).

Two women hugging indoors. One facing the camera looks upset while the other has her back to the camera. The background features a brick wall, creating a cozy atmosphere.

This can include meeting someone for the first time, not gaining a feel for their boundaries, and just doing as you like. People judge it very harshly if you’re a huggy person but they’re not, and you don’t inquire whether they want to be thrust upon before launching into a hug. What’s even worse is if you know their predilections and you do it anyway.

2. Using phrases like, “No offense or disrespect, but…”

Two men are sitting at a wooden table in an outdoor café, engaged in a conversation. One man, holding a pen, is speaking, while the other listens attentively with his back to the camera. The table holds a metal bucket, condiments, and utensils. Other patrons are blurred in the background.

These words inevitably precede statements or observations that are absolutely offensive and disrespectful. Adding a disclaimer before you say something horribly racist, sexist, or otherwise atrocious doesn’t absolve you of responsibility for having said them. How you speak about others says more about you, than them.

3. Being loud and obnoxious because you think it’s your right.

Two people are sitting at a table in a restaurant, engaging in conversation and holding glasses of red wine. A third person, partly visible, is joining them in a toast. Shelves with wine bottles are in the background, and the setting is cozy and casual.

If you don’t like feeling bad because someone’s giving you the stink-eye for being loud and vulgar, then it’s on you to curb that behavior. Nobody is obligated to put up with that noise, and if you don’t behave with a modicum of decency, you’ll spend most of your time alone.

4. Being rude about a topic within a large crowd of enthusiasts.

Four people sitting on a couch engaged in a heated discussion. A woman in the center appears frustrated, while the others express confusion and disagreement. They are in a well-lit room, suggesting a serious conversation.

It’s fine to dislike something, but don’t broadcast your contempt when you’re in a group of fans, like moaning about how much you hate Spiderman when you’re at a Marvel comic convention. Simply remain quiet, and if you don’t, don’t be surprised when you get a very strong pushback.

5. Causing chaos and drama in other people’s lives just to get what you want.

Three people walking down a sunlit road with trees on either side. A man in the middle has his arms around two women, one on his left wearing a teal shirt and the other on his right wearing a pink shirt. They hold hands and face away from the camera.

Indulge in some self-discipline rather than pursuing what you want at all costs, regardless of how badly it’ll affect everyone around you. You may be attracted to someone else’s spouse and decide to pursue an affair with them, but keep in mind that repercussions will be dire, and will reflect poorly on you.

6. Condemning others for not behaving as you do.

An older couple stands against a plain white background. The man is wearing a red polo shirt and the woman is in a striped blouse. Both have a serious expression.

Just because you do things a certain way doesn’t mean others have to. Everyone has the right and the freedom to believe, wear, and eat what they wish, as per their personal leanings and preferences. If you don’t want to be condemned for your own choices, don’t berate others for theirs.

7. Losing control of yourself due to over-intoxication.

Two men are seated at a bar, raising their beer glasses toward each other in a toast. One is wearing a white shirt, and the other has a checkered shirt. The bar counter has a white, hexagonal tile design while sunlight filters through the windows in the background.

No one wants to be judged for over-abusing intoxicants, losing control, and behaving reprehensibly. Furthermore, they don’t want to feel bad when other people are appalled by what they’ve done. You may insist that your actions were the alcohol/drugs’ fault, but you chose to take them. Remember that.

8. Spewing controversial thoughts online.

A person with facial cream and hair curlers types on a laptop while sitting on a couch. They are wearing a cozy robe and have an intense, focused expression. The background includes shelves with books and decorative items.

Saying the wrong thing on social media can cost you your job, your friends, and the respect of your peers. Don’t let the intrusive thoughts and impulsivity win. Is it so important to win a temporary argument with a stranger online? Consider the repercussions of anything you post publicly before doing so.

9. Being greedy and taking more than you need.

A man in a blue shirt is sitting indoors, holding several rolls of toilet paper close to his face with a playful expression. In the background, there are more rolls stacked on a couch and a lit lamp.

Taking more than your fair share of anything, or being overly self-serving will put you into everyone’s bad books. Nobody likes those who behave greedily, whereas those who are fair, who share what they have, and even those who sacrifice their own comfort for others, are held in immensely high regard.

10. Lying and making poor excuses for doing so.

A woman with long blonde hair sits at a table in a coffee shop, looking stressed and resting her temples on her hands. She appears to be in a serious conversation with a man, who is facing away from the camera. Blurred background of the cafe interior.

If you don’t want people judging you negatively for being dishonest, then don’t be. It’s really as simple as that. You can try to use past trauma as an excuse to justify being deceitful, but once you’re known as a liar, that reputation will follow you — and understandably so.

11. Stealing or taking things that don’t belong to you.

A woman holding a coffee cup sits on a bench, unaware as a man next to her reaches for her beige handbag. The background is a brick wall and grass.

As with lying, stealing for any reason other than to save your own life (or the lives of your family) is never justified. If you’re dealing with heavy emotions and need an outlet to feel alive again, take up an extreme sport to get your thrills: don’t take other people’s stuff.

12. Behaving in a way that would make your favorite person ashamed.

An older woman with short gray hair, wearing a striped shirt, looks thoughtful while sitting on a sofa. A younger woman with long hair sits beside her, appearing concerned. A book and a smartphone are on the sofa armrest.

Think of the person you respect most in this world. This might be one of your grandparents, your favorite university professor, etc. If this person looked at your actions in abject horror, and was both disappointed and disgusted with you, then consider not indulging in that behavior — now, or in the future.