12 Disrespectful Habits That Reveal The Sort Of Person Your Partner Truly Is

Does your partner do any of these 12 things?

A woman with short hair playfully squeezes a man's face, making his lips pucker humorously. Both have expressions of amusement and skepticism. The man's beard is trimmed, and they are in close proximity, suggesting a lighthearted moment.

You can tell a lot about what kind of a person your partner really is by how they behave when they think nobody is paying attention. Although they might have been on their best behavior when you first got together, the habits below will offer you a glimpse into their true colors.

1. Using or taking your things without permission.

A man reaches into a refrigerator, smiling as he grabs a small container. Inside the fridge are eggs, a lemon, a jar of sauce, and various drinks. He's wearing a white shirt and looks content.

Does your partner use your phone, wear your clothes, or eat food at your place without asking first to see if it’s okay? This is super disrespectful and self-serving behavior, and a red flag that indicates how they’ll behave in any given circumstance — whether you’re there to observe them or not.

2. Being hostile and abusive to service staff.

A woman sitting at a cafe table looks upset and gestures while speaking to a waiter. She has a cup of coffee and a slice of cake in front of her. The waiter, wearing an apron, gestures with open hands. The setting is a cozy cafe with natural light.

You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat those whom they consider to be “lesser” than themselves. If they’re rude to restaurant wait staff, retail employees, or cleaning crews, you know they’re elitist, and will only show courtesy to those they want to impress.

3. Displaying two-faced behavior towards your pet(s) or kid(s).

A woman with dark hair is sitting on a grey couch, speaking emotionally with her hands outstretched. Next to her, a young girl with blonde hair in braids sits with arms crossed and a pout, looking away. Both appear to be in a tense conversation.

Observe your partner carefully to see whether they behave the same way towards your pets and/or children when they don’t think you can hear them. If they’re sweet to them when you’re around, but hostile when you aren’t, you know they aren’t trustworthy. Reconsider keeping this person in your life.

4. Intentionally invading your privacy and overstepping your boundaries.

A woman in a white top looks over at a man in a beige sweater who is smiling while using his smartphone. They are sitting at a white table with coffee cups in an indoor setting. The woman appears curious or possibly suspicious.

It’s one thing for a person to walk into the washroom when the door is closed if the one inside is having an emergency, and a different situation entirely if they’re suspicious and want to see what you’re up to. The same goes for overstepping a stated boundary to try and establish dominance.

5. Spending your money rather than theirs.

A man sitting on a couch uses a laptop while holding a credit card. A woman stands behind him with her arms around his shoulders, smiling and looking at the screen. Both are casually dressed in denim outfits. The room is bright and modern.

Is this person always seeking to spend your money instead of their own, but being intensely defensive when it comes to their own wallet? If your money is “couple” money, but theirs is entirely their own to spend, you’ll get an idea of how they view your role in the relationship.

6. Treating you like their servant rather than their equal.

A woman wearing orange gloves sits on the floor with cleaning supplies, gesturing towards a man sitting on a couch holding a TV remote. The room features a modern decor with a plant and a bright, tidy setting.

Leaving laundry, dirty dishes, and garbage around for “someone else” (i.e. you) to pick up is immensely disrespectful. Housework is a joint task, and if they aren’t doing their fair share, it tells you that they see you more like their servant than their equal.

7. Flirting with other people’s partners (right in front of you).

A group of young adults socializing at a casual indoor gathering. A woman in the foreground, holding a drink, is laughing while interacting with a smiling man. Other people are engaged in conversation in the background. The atmosphere appears lively and cheerful.

It’s great to be friendly with others, but if your partner is flirting with someone else right in front of you — especially if that person is already attached to someone else — it tells you how much respect they have for both your own relationship, and those of the people around you.

8. Having one-sided exchanges that only benefit them.

A woman sits at an outdoor cafe table with a cup of coffee, resting her head on her hand. She gazes thoughtfully at a person across from her, who is partially visible. The background features potted plants and a blurred street view.

They expect you to listen to them for hours at a time on whatever subject they’re passionate about, but will clearly state that they have zero interest in anything you have to say about your pursuits. Essentially, they treat you as though you’re there for them, not the other way around.

9. Making ungrounded accusations because they’re too lazy or disorganized to find out the truth.

A woman with curly hair, wearing a white long-sleeved shirt, points her index finger at someone out of the frame. She has an intense and serious expression on her face. The background appears to be a bright, modern kitchen.

They’ll make an assumption about something based on their own chaotic imaginings, and then refuse to acknowledge the truth of the situation. For example, they might yell at you for eating their leftovers, when in reality, they’re still in the fridge behind the milk — they just didn’t look for it well enough.

10. Cheating at little things.

A woman and a man sit at a table playing cards, surrounded by colored poker chips. The woman wears a blue strapless top, and the man wears a pink hoodie. The background features floral wallpaper.

If they cheat at games or cheat on a diet that they’ve sworn to adhere to, they’re likely to cheat in other ways. Essentially, a person who can’t be trusted to be honest about the little things proves that they’re untrustworthy with regard to bigger issues as well.

11. Having an “If it doesn’t matter to me, it doesn’t matter at all” attitude.

A man with a beard and wearing a white shirt sits at a table in conversation with a woman whose back is to the camera. His expression is thoughtful and slightly furrowed, as if engaged in a serious discussion. The setting appears to be a casual cafe.

If you’re getting bitten to death by insects in your holiday hotel room, but they aren’t, they don’t see a problem with the situation. The same goes for any type of distress or discomfort: unless it’s affecting them personally, they just want others to suck it up and stop ruining their time.

12. Replacing your items with things they like better.

A woman with curly hair, wearing a dark green sweater, adjusts a round mirror on a white wall. There are green plants with large leaves to her left, adding a touch of nature to the indoor setting.

You may come home to discover that they’ve thrown out your dishes and replaced them with a style they prefer, or they’ve burned your favorite hoodie and bought you something they feel is more stylish. Your own preferences don’t even come into the equation, let alone the decency of respecting your property.