How To Stop Doing Something You Know Is Wrong: 14 No Nonsense Tips

How To Stop Doing The “Wrong” Thing

A woman with long hair, wearing a denim jacket, holds her hands on her head. She stands against a wall with artistic graffiti, looking directly at the camera with an intense expression.

There is something you do—and something you keep doing—that is wrong in some way.

Perhaps it harms you, perhaps it harms others. Maybe it’s bad for animals, the environment, or society in general.

But you keep doing it nonetheless. You know it is wrong, but you do it anyway.

Why?

Well, for starters, humans are, by nature, very habitual beings. This can lead people down both good and bad paths with varying consequences.

Habits are the things you do without really thinking about them. They can be positive or negative, but they occur regularly. And because of our habitual nature, it’s easy to fall into harmful or destructive habits and even allow ourselves to become defined by them.

There isn’t one answer when trying to overcome a negative habit. Below you’ll find several tangible tips that you can incorporate into your life so you can strengthen your efforts, starting with…

1. Recognize what you’re doing is wrong.

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A habit is when we do the same particular thing at the same time (or in the same situations) without fail. Recognizing that you’re doing it is the first step toward breaking the cycle. So, become aware of how you’re living your life. Rather than functioning on autopilot, be aware, intentional, and authentic as you move through each day.

When you encounter something that you’re not sure about, consider whether what you’re doing is wrong or not. Ask yourself how you feel and what your inner narrative is saying. Before you can change anything in life, you must recognize that it needs changing. Acknowledge that you’ve found a behavior or pattern that you don’t like, and now you’re going to work toward stopping it because you know it’s wrong for you.

2. Learn what your triggers are.

A woman with a hand on her forehead looks concerned while standing in a room. In the background, a man gestures with raised hands, appearing frustrated. They are in a domestic setting with shelves and a lamp visible.

Triggers are the emotional response to something. You can understand yourself by identifying what triggers you to do what you know is wrong. Knowing your triggers for the behavior puts you back in control of your mental health and overall well-being. Knowing your triggers will put you back in the driver’s seat of life rather than being a passenger.

When we can’t manage our emotions and responses, they can start to control us. This can result in doing things that we know are wrong simply to quiet the emotional response.

Here’s a quick rundown of how to learn what your triggers are:

– Identify and acknowledge any emotional responses.

– Journal to track behavior patterns.

– Listen to your body and notice any physical or emotional changes (feeling nauseous, unexplained physical pain, stomachache, headache, racing heart, etc.).

– Step back and evaluate once you notice the changes.

– Be curious and try to understand your reaction to the trigger.

– Practice self-compassion.

Because triggers can signal various responses, it’s essential to identify them and take back control of those responses. This can help you to stop doing the thing you no longer want to do and put you back in control of your reactions and responses.

Understanding your triggers can help you change, avoid, limit, and reduce the number of times you’re being exposed to them and, therefore, not follow through with the behavior that follows on from that trigger.

3. Understand the “why” behind your behavior.

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Take note of what you’re doing that is wrong and spend time sitting with the “why?” This might feel uncomfortable and leave you feeling unsure, but if you sit with this, you’ll start to understand.

Why are you doing something that you know is wrong? Does it make you feel like you belong? Does it make you feel more confident and better prepared? Perhaps it’s a stress reliever?

Once you understand the why, you can change the behavior pattern to something else. As creatures of habit, we often repeat the same thing over and over without ever stopping to question why we are doing it. Is it bringing us additional joy? Do we feel better doing it?

Without thinking, we often just repeat the pattern, bringing the same effect over and over. Take a few minutes to understand the purpose behind what you’re doing, and then turn to other ways to bring that purpose alive.

4. Create a support network who will encourage you and keep you on track.

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Open up to your support people regarding what you’re trying to change so they can help you. Doing this will allow others to support you, encourage you, and be there through the good times and bad.

In addition, having a support network will help your mental health and overall well-being which will make changing the habit feel more manageable.

5. Replace the “wrong” thing with a good thing.

A person with short dark hair is lying on a couch, eyes closed, wearing headphones, and appearing relaxed. They are wearing a black shirt and a brown watch, with one hand holding the headphones and the other resting on their chest.

Make it a goal that you’ll do something positive every time you feel the urge to do something you know is wrong. Write it down and stick it up in areas of your home where you spend the majority of your time. That way, you’ll always stay focused and aware.

Practice being present in the moment and recognize when you’re feeling the emotional response so that you can counteract it immediately with a newly developed positive habit/routine. Replace the thing you want to stop with something that makes you feel great.

6. Remind yourself of what you’re doing and why as often as needed.

A woman with long, light brown hair stands by a window, gazing outside. She holds a closed book and has a contemplative expression on her face. The background features a blurry view of rooftops and trees.

We can be our own worst enemies, sometimes planting doubt and uncertainty into our minds at every turn. It’s hard to be an adult in such an uncertain world, and often, we find peace in routine and habitual behavior, even if they’re negative. There is comfort in knowing what will happen next.

Make sure you remind yourself often that you’re human, you’re learning, you’re doing a hard thing trying to change a pattern, and that deserves self-compassion and care. It would be helpful to remind yourself that you’re doing great and not fall victim to a harsh inner critic.

7. Accept that lapses will happen and don’t label yourself a failure.

A man with short hair and a striped shirt is holding a chocolate chip cookie close to his mouth. He appears to be about to take a bite. The background is a red brick wall.

You’re not going to be perfect and get everything right at the beginning. Making changes, creating a new routine, and developing positive habits is so hard. Show yourself the compassion to make mistakes and allow yourself the grace to feel the feels and continue trying to change.

The key mindset to get into is one that can accept that setbacks aren’t failures. They are simply a part of life and allow you to develop and strengthen the skills needed to handle them.

Success, much the same as healing, isn’t linear. It’s an up-and-down, beautiful ebb and flow. Success comes when you keep trying, not necessarily when you are achieving. Success comes from recognizing that you’re doing something you know is wrong and making positive changes to correct the behavior/habit.

Change requires dedication, perseverance, effort, and consistency. However, you must give yourself compassion to make mistakes, forget, and step back. Success isn’t about fixing the wrong but instead devoting time and energy to righting the wrong.

8. Leave yourself reminders in places where the temptation lies.

A woman wearing a green sweater is adding a note to a grid-like wall with various papers and images. She appears focused and is in a bright room with plants in the background.

Grab yourself some sticky notes and write out the thing you’re trying to change. For example, whenever I reach for a cookie, I will have a carrot stick instead. Then, you write it out and stick it on the cookie cupboard, the fridge, and any other surface you see. This will help to reinforce in your mind that the thing you’re doing that you want to change is possible, and you’re in control of it. Leave yourself reminders everywhere.

9. Learn to say no in all areas of your life.

A woman with long, wavy hair stands against a yellow background, wearing a yellow sleeveless top. She has a serious expression and is holding both hands up with palms facing forward in a stop gesture.

Learn to say no in all areas of your life, whether it’s to others or yourself. No is a powerful word and reminder; it doesn’t require an explanation. It doesn’t need to be “No, because…” It can just be “No.”

10. Lean into a routine to create a new, more positive habit.

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Once you replace the thing you’re doing that you know is wrong with something constructive and positive, rely on routine to help you continue it. Routine helps with many obstacles in life. It removes the guessing game and allows you to relax and trust the process.

So, replace the wrong thing with something good and embrace routine. Once you repeatedly stop doing negative things and turn to something positive, a routine will form, and you’ll find the whole process easier.

11. Stop thinking it will be easy or you’ll set yourself up for disappointment.

A woman with long blonde hair sits on a couch, eyes closed, gently massaging her temple with her fingers. She appears to be experiencing a headache or stress. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a bright, calm room.

Nothing in life comes easy, and changing a wrong thing into something positive won’t be easy either. Though it’s completely and entirely possible, it’s still challenging and an uphill battle more often than not. So let go of the thoughts that it should be easy, and prepare yourself to commit and put in consistent effort to create a positive impact.

12. Learn when to listen to your mind (and when to ignore it).

A person with shoulder-length blonde hair and a serious expression is seated at a wooden table. They are wearing a floral patterned shirt and have their hands clasped together, looking ahead thoughtfully. The background features a blurred, warm-toned interior.

Your mind will try to have you continue doing what you know is wrong simply because that’s the habit. It’s easier to do the same thing rather than something different. It’s the path of least resistance.

Learn to recognize when there are red flags, something needs your attention, and you are defaulting to the easiest path. There are times when our minds are leading us to a safer path, but other times it’s leading us to the easiest thing, and the easiest thing is not always the best thing.

13. Let go of thinking you need to be perfect.

A man with a shaved head on top and short dark hair on the sides is looking to the left. He has a trimmed beard and is wearing a brown jacket with a blue stripe on the shoulder. The background is blurred and light-colored.

You don’t need to be perfect, and you won’t be, and that’s okay. Imperfection is still beautiful. Allow yourself to exist without explanations and try to change the harmful habit with a positive one. But, when you make a mistake, remember that you don’t need to be perfect.

Positive change takes time to build, and you don’t need to do everything in one day. You’re human and we all make mistakes, and that’s okay. Let go of all thoughts that you must be perfect and be able to change the habit immediately. Remember that it will take time and effort.

14. Don’t play the comparison game.

Two women with long, wavy brown hair wearing black and white polka dot dresses stand side by side. One gazes directly at the camera with a serious expression, while the other looks at her from a profile view. A lush, green outdoor background is visible.

I recommend you never play the comparison game. Don’t fall victim to it when trying to change a habit. It takes time, and everyone is different. If you must compare, then compare yourself to who you were yesterday, your efforts, and whether or not you showed up for yourself. Compare yourself only to yourself, to be better and do better.

Don’t compare how others overcome challenges to how you do, because you don’t know how they did. Everyone is unique; we all have different emotions, reactions, and responses. Let yourself just be you and work on yourself.