14 Signs The Chemistry You're Feeling Is Real

You can practically see the sparks flying…

A woman in a maroon shirt holds a coffee cup and smiles at a man in glasses and a white shirt. They are indoors with natural light coming through large windows in the background.

But still, you’re not quite sure if the tension that you feel you could cut with a knife is real, or if it’s all in your head.

It can happen at any time, anywhere, and not necessarily with the people you’d expect. It might be when you’re on a date, and you’re not sure whether to make a move. It might be with someone you’ve met at a party.

But it might be a bit more complicated than that. Physical attraction can develop between friends, or even between colleagues standing around the water cooler.

And, importantly, it’s not the same thing as flirting. Some people flirt totally innocently and without intending to take it any further, with someone they’re not at all attracted to. Flirting is just a way that certain people interact with members of the opposite sex.

But physical desire and the tension that comes with that is much more than that.

Sure, there’s probably flirting involved, but there might not be, as some of us just don’t quite get the concept of flirting. If there’s one thing for sure, it’s that it’s next-level stuff. It’s a feeling of heightened attraction that can only develop when the two of you are both feeling it. And whilst some of us have a natural ability to read body language accurately, many of us struggle.

On top of that, many of us don’t trust and act on our instincts, always second-guessing ourselves and convincing ourselves that what we think we’re feeling or seeing isn’t real.

Are you a bit confused as to whether the tension you’re feeling is real?

The signs below will help you figure it out.

1. There’s lots of eye contact.

A man and a woman sit at a café table, smiling at each other while holding white mugs. The background features a menu board and hanging lights, creating a cozy atmosphere.

This is one of the most basic signs of attraction (assuming, of course, the person doesn’t have a strong aversion to eye contact), so look out for it.

Just bear in mind that if someone’s shy or feeling flustered, they might struggle with eye contact, even if they are attracted to you. And certain people, such as those are autistic or who experience social anxiety, can find eye contact extremely uncomfortable and may avoid it. So don’t use this one as a standalone, surefire sign for or against attraction. Keep it in mind, alongside all the other signs listed.

2. The smiles are contagious.

A man and woman are sitting outdoors, smiling and talking while holding coffee cups. They appear relaxed and are engaged in conversation, with a background of a building and some foliage.

When they smile at you, they really smile from ear to ear, and you just can’t help but smile right back. It’s contagious.

3. You’re ultra-aware of any physical contact.

A group of young adults socializing at a casual indoor gathering. A woman in the foreground, holding a drink, is laughing while interacting with a smiling man. Other people are engaged in conversation in the background. The atmosphere appears lively and cheerful.

If things are getting tense between you, you’re going to be very aware of even the tiniest brush of skin on skin.

If they touch your hand or your back innocently, you feel the sparks fly. It’s pure chemistry at work.

If you do the same to them, you might notice them tense up a little, smile, or look at you to try to tell if you’ve touched them intentionally.

4. Things can feel a little awkward, or loaded.

A man in a suit, holding a notebook and a sheet of paper, sits at a desk in an office. He appears to be in a meeting with a woman whose back is to the camera. There are laptops and glasses on the desk, with a blurred office background.

If it’s the woman you keep bumping into by the microwave at work, then things probably do feel a little awkward between you, as you struggle to come up with topics of conversation when all you can think about is ripping their clothes off.

On the other hand, if you’re already on a date with a guy, you both kind of know what the deal is, so the silences between you won’t be awkward, but they will be loaded.

6. You both lean in and talk softly.

A woman and a man sit at a dimly lit bar, smiling at each other. Each holds a martini garnished with olives. The woman wears a red blouse, and the man wears a black shirt. The ambiance is cozy with blurred background figures and soft lighting.

This applies as much to the person you’re crushing on at the gym as it does to someone you’re on a date with.

If they’re leaning in to explain an exercise a little closer than they strictly need to, or explaining the latest report they’ve written in a soft voice, even getting close enough to whisper, then that’s a big indication that their is chemistry between the two of you.

7. You stay close to each other.

A man and a woman are playing pool in a dimly lit room. The man, wearing a purple shirt, is assisting the woman, wearing a pink top, with her shot. The woman is poised to strike the cue ball with her cue stick. Other people are blurred in the background.

You don’t just lean in to say something to each other, but you stay as close as you can.

If you’re at a bar, you’ll be sitting next to each other or within earshot. If you’re in a different kind of environment, you’ll find ways to get as physically close to them as possible, probably subconsciously.

8. You face each other.

A young man and woman are smiling at each other while sitting closely at an outdoor table. The man has short curly hair and is wearing a gray shirt. The woman has a short blonde hairstyle, wears a white hat, and a pink tank top. Drinks are visible in front of them.

When you’re with each other, if your bodies are angled toward each other, then you’ve got their full attention.

It’s the type of body language that indicates an open and warm feeling between the two of you since we often turn to the things we desire.

9. You’re always in contact.

A woman with long hair is smiling while holding a smartphone to her ear. She is wearing a pink shirt and sitting indoors in a well-lit area. The background is blurred, suggesting a casual and pleasant setting.

This might not apply in every case, but if there’s physical attraction building, things between you might be hotting up in the virtual world too.

If you’re spending a lot of time texting or they’re finding reasons to send you unnecessary work emails, that’s a sign you’re on each other’s minds.

10. The compliments are flying.

A person with short hair smiles at another person outdoors during daytime. They are wearing a patterned shirt and standing near a railing with trees in the background.

Sometimes the compliments will be overt and clear, but sometimes they will be subtle, and you’ll have to do a bit of digging before you realize that they were trying to compliment you.

We instinctively compliment people we like in order to get them to like us back, so if there are a lot of genuine compliments coming your way then don’t be afraid to reciprocate.

11. Talk turns to physical intimacy.

A man and a woman are seated at a candlelit table in a dimly lit restaurant, enjoying glasses of rosé wine. The man is dressed in a brown suit jacket and glasses, while the woman is in a white blouse. Both are smiling and engaged in conversation.

Nothing has happened between you yet, but you may well have found yourself discussing intimate things with them.

If you’re on a date, you might get into a cheeky discussion about kinks or intimate experiences.

If you haven’t got to date territory yet, your minds are probably both on the subject of physical intimacy, so it shouldn’t take long for the topic to be alluded to, even if only in a roundabout way.

12. You feel like you’re a teenager again.

Two people are planting a small tree in a grassy area on a sunny day. The person on the left is crouching and holding the base of the tree, while smiling at the camera. The person on the right is kneeling, steadying the tree, and smiling as well. A wheelbarrow is to their left.

When you see them, you might well lose your cool, even if only on the inside, and start acting like the nervy teenager you thought you’d left behind in high school.

This person has you acting a little bit crazy, and you’re not sure what to do or what to say, and feel like you keep putting your foot in it.

13. People have commented on the vibes between you.

A group of friends enjoying time together indoors. A man and a woman are sitting on a couch, smiling and holding beer bottles. Two other people are standing in the foreground, each holding bottles. A bookshelf with colorful books and decorations is in the background.

You’re not the only ones to have picked up on the tension.

If other people have remarked that you could cut the air between the two of you with a knife or rolled their eyes and told you to just get on with it already, that’s a very good indication that you’re not imagining things.

14. You just know.

A woman in a gray checkered apron leans on a counter and speaks with a smiling man in a white t-shirt. They are at a bar or café, with glasses, bar tools, and wooden shelves in the background. The atmosphere appears relaxed and friendly.

Deep down, you’ll know when you’re physically attracted to someone that’s attracted to you too.

It’s an indefinable feeling you’ll struggle to put into words or explain to your friends, and it’s easy to fabricate reality in your head when you’re attracted to someone…

…but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know if the tension between you is real.

So what do you do about it?

A man and a woman high-five each other in a bar. The woman, wearing a yellow blouse, is holding a martini glass with an olive. The man, in a blue shirt and apron, is smiling and reaching out. Wine glasses hang overhead, and warm lighting creates a cozy atmosphere.

Now, it’s important to point out here that just because there are signs of physical attraction between you, it’s not a free pass to overstep the mark.

Whatever you do, don’t let yourself get overexcited or nervous.

Go with the flow and respond to the signs they’re giving you, but don’t push things too far too soon, and remember, they or you can always change your minds at absolutely any point.

Attraction can be a fickle thing and can fade away at any moment, so just because the signs are right at one point in your interaction, that doesn’t mean it’s a done deal.

The rule is, if you’re not sure if someone is interested in you in that way, ask.

It might be a bit awkward, but it’s far less awkward than what could happen otherwise.

What if it can’t happen?

A blonde woman in a white tank top is secretly looking at a smartphone while lying in bed next to a man who is sleeping with his arm under his head, wearing a white t-shirt. The woman appears to be cautious and attentive to ensure she is not noticed.

Unfortunately, physical attraction and desire doesn’t always develop between two people who are both free and available to pursue it.

It can develop with someone who it’s entirely inappropriate for you to have a intimate relationship with, or you can even feel it for someone when you’re already in a happy, committed relationship with someone else.

If you want to save that relationship, or just make sure your lust doesn’t lead you to make a bad decision, then the best thing you can do is keep your distance.

This tension develops when we’re in close proximity to someone, so intentionally staying away from them as much as you can will give you the best chance of getting over it sooner rather than later, with no damage done.