If you're friends with someone who uses any of these 13 toxic phrases, it's time to move on

These 13 phrases indicate an unhealthy friendship

Two women smiling, seated close together. The woman on the left, wearing sunglasses on her head and a striped shirt, hugs the woman on the right, who wears a yellow top. They appear outdoors, with a bright background.

Friendships should be a source of joy, support, and growth. But sometimes, the people we call friends can be more toxic than we realize. These harmful relationships often reveal themselves through subtle phrases that dismiss our feelings, manipulate our emotions, or undermine our self-worth. Look out for these 13 toxic phrases that signal it’s time to reassess your friendship and prioritize your well-being.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

Two women sit at an outdoor café table, engaged in conversation. One gestures while holding a coffee cup, and the other listens with a cup in her hand. A pink notebook and a smartphone with earbuds are on the table.

Ever had a friend brush off your feelings like they’re yesterday’s news? This phrase is the ultimate emotional invalidation. It’s a sneaky way of saying your emotions don’t matter, and frankly, it’s a load of nonsense. Your feelings are valid, period. A true friend acknowledges your emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them.

2. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Two men sit on a sofa with beers, engaged in conversation. A bowl of chips is on the coffee table in front of them. One wears a maroon shirt and jeans; the other, a gray shirt, jeans, and a beanie. A phone rests on the table beside them.

This non-apology is a classic deflection tactic, shifting the focus from their actions to your reaction. Real friends take responsibility for their behavior and offer genuine apologies when they’ve messed up. This phrase? It’s just a way to sidestep accountability while pretending to care.

3. “You’re overreacting/making a big deal out of nothing.”

A young woman with her head down appears worried while another woman, slightly blurred in the background, gestures as if speaking to her. The scene suggests a serious or empathetic conversation.

Ah, the battle cry of the emotionally stunted. Being told this feels like a verbal slap in the face. It dismisses your feelings and implies you’re irrational. It’s often used when someone can’t handle the consequences of their actions. A good friend listens and tries to understand your perspective, not belittle your emotions.

4. “I never said/did that” (when they clearly did.)

A woman with short hair wearing a green shirt is sitting on a couch, gesturing animatedly while talking to another woman with long dark hair. They are in a bright room with shelves and plants in the background.

Welcome to Gaslighting 101. Using this phrase is a manipulation tactic designed to make you doubt your memory and perception. True friends own up to their words and actions, even when it’s uncomfortable. You don’t need liars and manipulators in your life.

5. “You’re just jealous/insecure.”

Two women are indoors having a conversation. One woman with brown hair and wearing a red patterned top looks away, while the other woman with wavy hair and wearing a checkered button-up shirt makes a gesture with her hand, appearing a bit skeptical or bemused.

This is a cheap shot aimed by a bad friend who is trying to deflect from their behavior by attacking your character. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, they’re trying to make you feel small and defensive. Friends worth having don’t play these mind games.

6. “If you really loved me, you would…”

Two women enjoy a picnic on a blanket outdoors. One is lying down with a book, smiling, while the other sits beside her, also smiling. They are surrounded by apples and greenery.

Emotional blackmail is not just for romantic and familial relationships it would seem. This phrase is another manipulative tactic, this time designed to guilt you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. It’s a way of weaponizing your affection against you. Genuine friends respect your boundaries and would never try to coerce you through emotional manipulation.

7. “You always/never…”

Two men sit on a leather couch engaged in conversation, each holding a mug. One wears a maroon shirt and holds a mug with a flag design, while the other wears a light blue shirt with a plain mug, gesturing with his free hand.

Absolutes are rarely accurate and often unfair. They are typically used to exaggerate a situation and paint you in a negative light. It’s a verbal sledgehammer, designed to make you feel like you’re constantly failing. True friends recognize that people are complex and they do their best to avoid these sweeping generalizations, or they at least apologize and correct themselves when they realise they’ve been unfair.

8. “You’re crazy/psycho (or any other stigmatizing slur.)”

Two women are engaged in a conversation outdoors. One woman, wearing a red knitted beret and a white coat, is in focus and appears to be listening intently. The other woman, whose face is blurred, is talking. The background shows part of a green architectural structure.

Toxic phrases don’t come much worse than this one. It’s a lazy, hurtful way to dismiss your feelings or behavior without actually engaging with the issue at hand. It’s also incredibly stigmatizing toward mental health issues. A friend worth having would never resort to name-calling or mental health slurs when things get tough.

9. “I’m just being honest” (spoken after saying something hurtful.)

Three men are engaged in a conversation in a dimly lit setting with an exposed brick wall in the background. Two men in white and patterned button-down shirts are facing a man with dark hair, who is seen from behind. They appear animated and focused.

Honesty without kindness is just cruelty in disguise. People often use “I’m just being honest” as a shield to deflect criticism after saying something unnecessarily hurtful. True friends understand that honesty and kindness aren’t mutually exclusive. They’ll find a way to tell you a truth if you need to hear it, but they’ll do it nicely and with your best interests at heart.

10. “You should know what I want without me having to tell you.”

Two women sit at a table with drinks in front of them; the woman on the left, in a gray sweater, looks pensive with her hand near her mouth, while the woman on the right, in a dark blazer, reacts with surprise or shock, her hand on her forehead.

Mind reading isn’t a prerequisite for friendship. Expecting someone to know what you want is unrealistic and sets the stage for disappointment and resentment. It’s a passive-aggressive way of avoiding clear communication. Good friends express their needs and wants openly, without expecting you to be a psychic.

11. “You owe me.”

Two men sitting at a wooden table, both enjoying lattes. The man on the left, wearing a white shirt, is smiling and has his glasses in hand. The man on the right, in a striped shirt, is holding a cup of coffee close to his face, appearing thoughtful.

Friendship isn’t a transaction, and it’s not about keeping score. Saying “You owe me” turns acts of kindness into bargaining chips, creating an unhealthy power dynamic. It can make you feel indebted and manipulated, both of which are pretty toxic things to feel in a friendship.

12. “I’m not mad” (when they clearly are.)

Two women sitting in a brightly lit room with blue accents, engaged in a cheerful conversation. The woman facing the camera has red hair, glasses, and is smiling, while the other woman, with blurred features, faces away from the camera.

This one is just plain old passive-aggression. It’s a way of expressing anger while denying it, leaving you to deal with their negative emotions without any clear way to address them. Whilst it’s ok for a friend to not be ready to talk about the anger they’re feeling, if it’s a mature friendship they won’t just pretend it doesn’t exist.

13. “I was just joking. Can’t you take a joke?”

Two men sitting on a porch, smiling and chatting. One holds a beer and a guitar, while the other tends to food on a small grill. The setting is relaxed, with logs and greenery in the background. Sunlight adds a warm ambiance.

This phrase is the last refuge of the insensitive. It’s a way of deflecting responsibility for hurtful comments by putting the blame on you for overreacting. It’s like throwing a rock at you and then claiming it was just a marshmallow. Real friends understand the difference between playful teasing and hurtful comments, and they apologize when they cross the line.