Women with these 13 quirky traits often don’t have many friends

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13 traits of women who don’t have a lot of friends

A person with blue eyes and freckles is looking over an open red book, wearing a straw hat that casts a shadow pattern on their face. The background is out of focus, suggesting a sunny outdoor setting.

Women who don’t have many friends often possess unique qualities that set them apart from the crowd. These traits can be misunderstood by others, which contributes to their smaller social circles; however, these characteristics also contribute to deeper, more meaningful connections when they do occur. Here are 14 of these quirky traits.

1. They can be brutally honest without intending to be rude.

Two women are sitting and conversing. The woman on the left has a concerned expression and is gesturing with her hand while speaking. She has brown hair tied back and is wearing a grey top. The woman on the right is facing away, with blonde hair and a maroon top.

These women struggle to sugarcoat their thoughts or engage in white lies, even when social norms might demand it. This trait often catches others off guard, as their candid remarks can come across as harsh or insensitive.

In reality, their intention isn’t to offend but to communicate clearly and authentically. They value truth over social niceties and find it challenging to navigate situations that require diplomacy. While this honesty can be refreshing to some, it may alienate others who prefer a more tactful approach, leading to a smaller but more genuine group of friends.

2. They hate small talk and prefer to deep dive into meaningful topics.

Two women sit on a bench outdoors, smiling and enjoying a conversation. The woman on the left has long, gray hair and is wearing a green cardigan, while the woman on the right has long, brown hair and is wearing a white blazer. Greenery and a building are visible in the background.

Superficial conversations about the weather or celebrity gossip leave these women feeling drained and unfulfilled. Instead, they crave deep, thought-provoking discussions that challenge their perspectives and expand their understanding of the world.

Their eyes light up at the mention of philosophy, science, or personal growth. They’re more likely to ask about your childhood than your weekend plans. This preference for substantial conversations can make casual social situations uncomfortable, as they struggle to engage in the light chit-chat that often forms the foundation of new friendships.

3. They have strong views and struggle not to share them.

Two women are sitting and holding white mugs while engaging in conversation. The woman on the left has long, wavy hair and wears a teal top, while the woman on the right has short hair and wears a reddish-brown top. Lush green plants are visible in the background.

Passion runs deep in these women, particularly when it comes to topics they care about. They hold strong opinions on everything from politics to pop culture and find it challenging to stay silent when these subjects arise. Their eyes spark with intensity as they launch into impassioned arguments, sometimes overwhelming those around them.

This tendency to share their views openly comes from a place of genuine conviction and a desire for meaningful dialogue. However, it can come across as argumentative or domineering, especially in social situations where others prefer to keep conversations light and non-confrontational.

4. They enjoy their own company (often more than others’).

A woman with shoulder-length blonde hair smiles and looks to the side while standing outdoors. She is wearing a blue shirt over a white top. The background shows a blurred street scene with greenery and buildings.

Solitude isn’t just tolerable for these women; it’s a sanctuary. They find peace in quiet moments alone, savoring the freedom to pursue their interests without interruption. They don’t feel lonely when they’re alone, they feel at peace.

This preference for their own company often stems from a deep sense of self-awareness and contentment. They’ve cultivated a rich inner world that often provides more fulfillment than social interactions do. As a result, they may find themselves turning down invitations in favor of solo pursuits, which can intentionally or inadvertently limit their social circle.

5. They’re very choosy about who they spend time with.

Three women are sitting outdoors, smiling and enjoying each other's company. They are in a relaxed, natural setting with tree foliage in the background, creating a bright and cheerful atmosphere. Each woman displays a warm, joyful expression.

For these women, friendship isn’t a numbers game. They carefully curate their social circle, preferring a handful (or less) of close, meaningful relationships over a large network of acquaintances. Each friendship is an investment of time and emotional energy, and they don’t make these investments lightly.

They seek out individuals who align with their interests and worldviews, often passing on potential friendships that don’t meet their criteria. This approach leads to fewer but more fulfilling relationships and a smaller social circle overall.

6. They have a unique sense of humor that may be perceived as “un-ladylike”.

Two women are smiling and appear to be laughing together. One woman, wearing a green necklace, is facing the camera and touching her face, while the other woman is out of focus in the foreground, wearing decorative earrings. The background is blurred.

Laughter erupts from these women in unexpected ways. Their humor often veers into territory considered taboo or unbecoming of a “lady”, catching others off guard. They might crack jokes about bodily functions or deliver deadpan one-liners that leave listeners unsure whether to laugh or gasp.

This unconventional humor is a reflection of their authenticity and disregard for societal expectations of femininity. However, this can sometimes lead to awkward social situations and fewer invitations to polite gatherings. But who wants to attend polite gatherings anyway?

7. They don’t say “yes” when they want to say “no”.

A young woman with shoulder-length brown hair wearing a light blue sweater is standing against a beige background. She has a serious expression on her face and is holding her hand up in a stopping gesture directly in front of her.

People-pleasing is not in these women’s vocabulary. They’ve mastered the art of setting boundaries and aren’t afraid to use the word “no” when necessary. Whether it’s declining an invitation or refusing to take on extra work, they prioritize their own well-being and commitments.

This ability to say no stems from a strong sense of self-worth and respect for their own time and energy. However, it can sometimes be perceived as selfish or unfriendly by others who are used to more accommodating behavior.

8. They often get lost in their own thoughts.

Two women sit at a table in a cafe, smiling and holding cups. One has long blonde hair; the other has a loose bun. A teapot and a plate of small cakes are on the table. The background is softly lit, creating a warm atmosphere.

The inner world of these women is a vast and captivating landscape. They frequently find themselves drifting into deep contemplation, oblivious to their surroundings. A simple question might send them spiraling into a complex web of ideas and possibilities.

This rich inner life is a source of creativity and insight, but it can also create barriers in social situations. They might appear distracted or uninterested in conversations, when in reality they’re simply processing information on a deeper level. This tendency to retreat into their thoughts can make it challenging to form and maintain casual friendships.

9. They are all about quality over quantity and have no time for popularity contests.

Three women sit together, smiling and clinking glasses of rosé wine. The woman on the left wears a light blue jacket, the central woman in a gray blazer with blonde hair, and the woman on the right wears a red top and yellow dress. They appear in a casual, bright setting.

In a world that often values social media followers and party invitations, these women march to the beat of their own drum. They prioritize depth and authenticity in their relationships, showing little interest in expanding their social circle for the sake of appearances.

This focus on quality connections means they invest heavily in the friendships they do have, nurturing them with time and attention. It also means they’re less likely to participate in large social gatherings or networking events that could lead to new acquaintances, but they’re ok with that.

10. They don’t feel the need to splash their lives all over social media.

A smartphone placed in a woven basket on a white table, with a blurred background showing a person reading a book on a gray couch and a gray mug nearby.

While others curate perfect Instagram feeds, these women often prefer to keep their experiences private. They find more value in living in the moment than in capturing it for likes and comments. Their social media presence, if it exists at all, tends to be minimal and sporadic.

This reluctance to share online stems from a desire for privacy and a belief that true connections happen offline. They aren’t deluded into thinking that what people share on social media bears any reflection on their real life.

11. They have no time for drama or fakery.

Three individuals sit on a bench outdoors, engaged in a conversation. The person on the left wears a white shirt and holds sunglasses, the person in the middle gestures while speaking, and the person on the right listens attentively. Trees and a walkway are in the background.

These women steer clear of gossip, petty conflicts, and superficial relationships. When drama unfolds around them, they’re more likely to walk away than to get involved. They can sense inauthenticity a mile off and have no time for it.

This aversion to drama comes from a place of emotional maturity and a desire for peace in their lives. They value genuine interactions and have little patience for pretense or manipulation.

12. They’re comfortable breaking social and gender norms.

A person with short blonde hair and glasses smiles gently while resting their chin on their hand. They are wrapped in a shawl, with a background of lush greenery and soft, filtered light.

Convention means very little to these women. They embrace their quirks and idiosyncrasies, unafraid to stand out from the crowd, but not doing so out of a need for attention. From their career choices to their personal style, they forge their own paths without concern for societal expectations.

This willingness to break norms stems from a strong sense of self and a belief in individual expression. However, it can also set them apart from their peers and they often have to look a little harder to find like-minded individuals who appreciate their unique approach to life.

13. They’re often misunderstood as aloof, standoffish, or stuck up, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Three women are sitting at a table in a cafe, engaging in conversation. The woman on the left is gesturing with her hand while holding a white cup. They are calmly discussing something, and the background shows a warmly lit cafe environment.

These women are often labeled as cold or unfriendly, when in reality beneath their seemingly distant exterior lies a world of warmth and depth. This misunderstanding can create barriers to new friendships, as others may be intimidated or put off by their initial reserve.

Their reserved nature in social situations is often a reflection of their thoughtfulness and preference for meaningful connections. They may take longer to warm up to new people, but once they do, they prove to be truly loyal, caring and fascinating friends.

About The Author

Anna worked as a clinical researcher for 10 years, authoring and publishing scientific papers in world leading journals such as the New England Journal of Medicine, before joining A Conscious Rethink in 2023. Her writing passions now center around personality, neurodiversity and relationships, always underpinned by scientific research and lived experience.