Couples who don't let the spark die no matter how long they've been together do these 9 things regularly

The spark won’t stay alive without effort.

A couple embraces outdoors, smiling as sunlight beams around them. The man is wearing sunglasses and a scarf, while the woman looks content. The background features a blurred beach scene with vibrant lighting effects.

Losing the spark in a relationship is something that happens to a lot of couples. It often happens in marriages, or once you’ve had kids – or just when you’ve been with someone for a long time. Yet some couples seem to keep the magic alive to their dying day. And if you asked them how, they’d probably tell you they regularly do these 9 things.

1. They prioritize regular date nights, no matter how hectic life gets.

A man and woman sit at an outdoor table, toasting with glasses of red wine. The man wears a blue shirt, and the woman is in a backless dress. They are smiling, with greenery in the background.

Couples who maintain the spark in their relationship commit to regular date nights. They decide on a day that works well for both of them and stick to it, whether it’s weekly or monthly. These couples understand that it’s not just about getting dressed up or going for fancy dinners; it’s about showing that they value their relationship and want to put time and effort into keeping it happy and healthy.

2. They have meaningful discussions, not just functional conversations.

A man with a beard and a woman with long hair sit at a table, smiling at each other. The man is holding a smartphone while the woman is holding a white coffee mug. They are in a well-lit, modern room with minimalistic decor.

Couples who keep the spark alive continue to have deep, meaningful conversations long after the honeymoon phase. While they’re comfortable with just being together, they make an effort to discuss their interests, share dreams and plans, and really communicate with each other.

These couples understand the importance of this kind of intimacy in their relationship. They make time for quality discussions that help them bond and stay connected, going beyond everyday topics like work stress or household chores.

3. They prioritize physical intimacy in all forms.

A couple is sitting on a couch, smiling and embracing each other. Their feet in cozy socks are in the foreground, with the focus on pink and striped patterns. The background is softly lit, creating a warm and relaxed atmosphere.

It should probably go without saying that couples who keep the spark alive understand the importance of physical intimacy in their relationship. They’re not afraid to initiate intimacy and are open to spicing things up when needed. These couples communicate openly about their physical needs and desires, addressing any changes or concerns calmly and without blame.

They also recognize that intimacy doesn’t always have to involve bedroom action. They make time for other forms of physical connection, like sharing a bath or cuddling on the sofa.

4. They reminisce about good times and commit to creating new memories.

An older couple is embracing and smiling joyfully. The woman, with short brown hair, has her arms around the man's shoulders, while the man, with gray hair and a beard, leans into her, creating a tender and happy moment near a window with soft light.

Couples who maintain their spark often look back on their relationship fondly. They enjoy looking at old photos, sharing memories from their first few dates, and talking about how their relationship has grown over time.

This reminiscing brings them closer and reminds them of how much they care for each other. It often inspires them to recreate special moments or surprise each other with things they love, keeping the relationship fresh and exciting.

5. They share new hobbies that they both enjoy.

A smiling older man wearing a helmet and a green jacket is biking on a trail. A woman in the background is also biking, surrounded by lush green trees on a sunny day.

To avoid feeling stuck in a rut, couples who keep the spark alive often try new things together. They pick up hobbies that interest both of them. These shared experiences give them more to talk about, provide quality time together, and inject fun and novelty into their relationship.

6. They prioritize feeling good individually to bring their best self to the relationship.

Two men wearing wetsuits and holding surfboards stand side by side on a beach, smiling at the camera. The ocean waves in the background indicate an ideal surfing location.

These couples understand the importance of individual well-being. They focus on self-care and feeling good about themselves, which positively impacts their relationship. They know that their relationship should be an addition to their lives, not their entire lives. They maintain their individual identities and interests, which keeps the relationship fresh and balanced.

7. They enjoy alone time and understand that absence often makes the heart grow fonder.

Couples who keep the spark alive are comfortable spending time apart. They understand that having separate interests and activities relieves pressure on the relationship and makes their time together more special. These couples make time for solo activities or time with friends, which helps them maintain their individuality and brings new energy to the relationship.

8. They focus on the positives rather than always pointing out the negatives.

A smiling couple embraces outdoors. The man, wearing a brown sweater, has a gray beard. The woman, in an orange top, leans her head on his shoulder. They appear happy, with a blurred green background behind them.

Instead of focusing on negatives, couples who maintain their spark regularly use positive reinforcement. They make a big deal out of the good things their partner does, expressing appreciation and love.

By highlighting what they enjoy, these couples effectively communicate their needs and expectations without nagging or arguing. This approach encourages more positive behaviors and keeps the relationship loving and supportive.

9. They work out together.

Two individuals stand back-to-back in a gym, each holding red dumbbells and wearing athletic clothing. They perform shoulder exercises in a brightly lit space with large windows revealing an outside view of a street and parked cars. Fitness equipment is visible nearby.

Couples who maintain their spark often exercise together. Working out releases endorphins, which help them stay balanced and upbeat as individuals and as a couple. By exercising together, they experience rushes of endorphins while having fun and bonding.

These couples coach each other, watch each other progress, develop self-confidence, and work as a team. They recognize that these elements are great for relationship-building and keeping their connection strong.