If you're doing these 11 things on your dating profile, you're completely ruining your chances

Doing these 11 things will ruin your chances.

A person with curly hair and glasses is looking at a laptop screen, holding a glass of orange juice. They appear thoughtful or focused, with one hand resting on their face. They're wearing a striped shirt and earphones, in a softly lit room.

Your dating profile is how you present yourself to the thousands of available people of your preferred gender. Those people are going to decide whether they’re interested in getting to know more about you based on what they find out from your profile.

To get lots of good matches, you ought to take this part of online dating very seriously.

Yet so many people sabotage their chances of getting a match (and preferably a good match) by making these 11 common mistakes. Are you one of them?

1. Using old photos that don’t reflect what you look like now.

A man sits at a desk looking at a laptop. He is wearing a light blue shirt and has his hand on his chin in thought. The background shows a window with a view of greenery outside. There are pens and office supplies on the desk.

People on dating sites don’t care about how you looked five years ago, they want to know who they’ll see when they show up for a date now. So, don’t choose old photos, especially those that don’t resemble you anymore. Make sure that all of your photos were taken recently.

If you don’t have any good recent photos, make a decision to take them before creating your dating profile. You could even hire a professional to take your photos, just remember that photos need to show how you really look, not how you’d like to look.

2. Using clichés or generic, bland statements.

A woman, seated on a couch, holds a coffee mug and looks at a laptop displaying an online dating website with a happy couple on the screen. A striped pillow is beside her.

Nothing screams generic like “long walks on the beach.” Steer clear of clichés, and try to be witty and unique when you write your description. Think of things that could serve as conversation starters instead of general things.

For instance, instead of “I like to laugh and have fun,” write “I like to go to comedy shows and watch Jim Carrey movies.” Instead of “I like jazz,” write “I’m a big Sinatra fan and a regular at the jazz club, but I’m mostly into electro swing.” Again, being specific is the key.

Your profile should be just as unique as you are, and it should offer something new compared to other profiles. So, what makes you unique? “I like to dance” sounds pretty generic. You could write, “I’ve studied ballroom dancing, but I’m also up for dancing in clubs as long as I get to show off the moves I invented.”

3. Going overboard with quirkiness or giving away too much information.

A woman with long dark hair lies on a sofa, smiling while typing on a laptop. She has red headphones around her neck. The laptop screen displays a website with a couple's photo and a login form. Sunlight filters through a window in the background.

Someone will love your quirks but don’t go overboard with listing and describing them. If you do, it will look like there’s no other person like you, when really you’re dating online to find that person.

Also, you don’t want to reveal everything about yourself in your profile. There are certain things that a person should find out after you get in touch and when you start dating in person.

So, don’t be an open book. You don’t have to list all your hobbies and pursuits, pick just a few of your most interesting ones. Your profile should spark people’s interest just enough to want to meet you, not get them to know you already.

4. Pretending to be someone you’re not because you think it’ll get you more matches.

A woman with short brown hair, wearing a long-sleeved pink shirt, sits on a gray sofa holding a smartphone. She rests her head on her hand and looks thoughtfully into the distance. The room is softly lit.

Do you genuinely like the things that you say you like? Make sure to be your authentic self on dating sites. It can be tempting to present yourself differently to how you really are. A lot of people do this, but you’re not doing yourself any favors by pretending that you’re someone you’re not.

Eventually, your date is going to get to know the real you, so don’t make them expect someone who’s not going to show up. Be your authentic self when writing your dating profile, as well as when you communicate with your matches.

You’re creating this profile so that you can find a person who likes you. There’s no point in it if you make them like the person you’re pretending to be. Find people who like you for you by being honest about what you enjoy and want.

5. Hiding your face in photos.

A woman with curly hair wearing sunglasses, an oversized white T-shirt, and denim shorts poses for a selfie with a smartphone. She is smiling and standing against a dark brown corrugated metal background.

Wearing sunglasses in a picture entirely hides your face. You might look cool with sunglasses on, but those who don’t know you can’t tell what you look like. So, don’t choose pictures where you’re hiding your face.

The point is for people to see your face, so don’t use hats, sunglasses, or anything else that would prevent them from seeing you clearly.

You might not be comfortable with showing your face because you think that you’re not attractive enough. However, that is for your potential matches to decide, and you just need to look relaxed, fun, and approachable.

After all, there’s no point in hiding on dating sites when your goal is to meet people in person. They aren’t going to be willing to see you in person if they can’t see you in a picture.

6. Using a photo that looks nothing like you in reality.

A woman with long brown hair takes a selfie with a smartphone. She has striking makeup, including bold eyeliner and lipstick, and is wearing a sleeveless top. The background is a plain, neutral color.

This has to be emphasized once more—you need to really look like you do in the photo. Obviously, you want to highlight your best features and present yourself in the best possible light… But it needs to still be you.

Think about how you would look if you were dressed up for a date with your ideal partner. You would probably present the best version of yourself. That is how you should look in your photos.

Don’t let your dates expect someone else when you show up for the date. A lot of people make themselves look significantly better than they really do. It’s okay to do this by dressing up and using cosmetic products, but don’t go overboard with editing. You shouldn’t even overdo it with dressing up and cosmetic products unless that’s what you normally do.

7. Making your description excessively long and irrelevant.

A man with short dark hair and a beard sits on a white couch, concentrating on his laptop screen. He is wearing a teal button-down shirt over a grey t-shirt. The background includes a window with sheer curtains.

While you should go into details and get specific, keep in mind that no one wants to read an essay on a dating site. So, keep your profile description relatively short. There are plenty of things that you can tell people once you get in touch, so just include an interesting introduction on your profile.

The purpose of your profile description is to get people interested in you. So, consider which things about you are relevant for this. Maybe you love to travel, and it’s important that your future partner likes to travel too. In that case, be sure to mention something about it.

However, maybe you enjoy fishing, but you don’t care whether your future partner will like fishing too. In this case, don’t include fishing in your profile description. You can show this hobby by posting a picture of yourself fishing if you care about your potential partner enjoying spending time in nature. Pictures are also a great tool for showcasing your personality without using up valuable word count.

8. Describing the physical appearance of your ideal person.

A man with a neatly groomed beard, dressed in a light gray suit and white shirt, leans against a large window in a modern office. He holds a smartphone in his right hand and gazes thoughtfully out the window. The room features white brick walls and ample natural light.

What if your ideal partner doesn’t look the way you’re imagining them? By describing the physical appearance of a person you’re searching for, you might be eliminating your perfect match.

Don’t focus on height, weight, hair color, eye color, body type, or anything else regarding the physical appearance of your perfect match. You will still get to decide whether you’ll give someone a chance based on their picture, but not just based on that.

Describe the kind of person they are, not what they look like. Are they adventurous, funny, smart, well-read, or ambitious? Maybe it’s important that they have respectable manners or that they are a good listener.

Describe the person, not the body. Think about it. Would you rather give a chance to someone who is your ideal partner or to someone who just looks like one? Don’t assume what your perfect match looks like, or even what you’ll find attractive in someone.

9. Highlighting your best qualities to the point of dishonesty.

A man wearing a green knit beanie and beige cable-knit sweater sits by a window, holding a coffee cup in one hand and looking at a smartphone in the other. Earbuds are in his ears. Outside the window, trees and buildings are visible on a cloudy day.

It’s okay to present yourself in the best possible light, just make sure that you’re not doing it to the point where you’re being dishonest about who you are. As you already learned, it’s very important to be your authentic self. Write about the person that you are, not who you’d like to be.

The goal is to appear interesting and positive while still being honest and not exaggerating your good qualities too much. You should also be honest about what you’re looking for.

10. Using too many group photos.

Four smiling friends gather closely for a selfie outdoors in a sunny urban setting. The group, consisting of two men and two women, appears happy and joyful, wearing casual clothes and standing in front of buildings with a clear sky in the background.

Having a group photo as one of your profile pictures might be okay, because it shows that you are social. However, this can’t be your main picture, and you shouldn’t make people guess who you are from all the faces in the photos.

It’s also a very bad idea to choose pictures where you’re with people of the opposite sex, and a terrible idea to use photos where you’re with your ex.

Ultimately, it’s safer to avoid group photos altogether. However, as long as you make sure that people can clearly recognize you and that they won’t assume that you were sleeping with someone from the photo, you’ll be fine.

11. Forgetting to update your profile regularly.

A man with short blond hair and a blue checkered shirt sits at a wooden desk, focused on a laptop in front of him. Large windows in the background reveal a blurred outdoor scene.

Your photos can quickly become old and outdated. Don’t forget to update your profile on a regular basis. Maybe you don’t like skiing anymore. So, you should remove that picture. Maybe you’re suddenly okay with hookups, so you want to remove that dealbreaker from your description.

Keep your photos and your description regularly updated. Most likely, you aren’t going to find the perfect match quickly. So, you’ll spend a while on the dating site, and things will change in time.

Even if you do meet someone great right away, you could later realize that it’s not working out and go back to your profile. So, make sure that it shows who you are right now, not who you were a few months ago.