You’ll Remain Lonely Forever If You Keep Making These 12 Social Errors

These things will make others turn their backs on you.

Elderly man with a beard sitting on a blue bench in a park. He rests his chin on his hands, looking contemplative. Trees and greenery are visible in the background.

We all know someone who’s a social pariah because of the way they behave around other people. You can avoid perpetual ostracization—or being run out of town with pitchforks—if you make a point of avoiding the social errors that follow.

1. Trash-talking others when they aren’t around.

A close-up of two people sharing a secret. One person, who is out of focus, is whispering into the ear of the other, who has a serious expression and short hair, looking intently at the camera. The background is a soft, textured blue.

People are naturally going to assume that if you talk about others behind their backs, then you’ll talk about them as well. Gossiping about people who aren’t around will show your social circle that you can’t be trusted, and that you’ll insult them as soon as they aren’t present to defend themselves. Soon enough, you’ll find yourself outside the circle entirely.

2. Leaving all the decision-making to someone else.

A smiling young woman with long red hair is wearing a striped t-shirt and holding her hands up near her face in a playful gesture. She is standing against a solid light blue background.

If those you enjoy spending time with ask what you’d like to do, eat, and so on, and you perpetually respond with “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”, they’ll eventually stop asking you. Most folks like decisive people who can at least offer a couple of suggestions instead of offering passivity and passing the responsibility to others.

3. Being too demanding of other people’s time and attention.

A woman in a yellow sweater sits on a couch, looking intently at her smartphone. She rests her chin on her hand. In the background, there are potted plants and a shelf. The room is softly lit with natural light.

We all get excited or enthusiastic when we click with someone amazing, but text-bombing a person with 37 messages in a row before they’ve had a chance to respond will likely unnerve and alienate them. Give people room to breathe and meet you halfway, instead of chasing them.

4. Sharing all the traumatic details of your life story, all at once.

Two women are seated on a white sofa in a well-lit room. One woman with long hair is attentively listening to the other, leaning on her arm. They both appear engaged in conversation, with neutral expressions. A wooden shelf is blurred in the background.

Many of us have experienced serious difficulties, and when we’re getting to know someone, we may want to bare our souls so they understand us on every level. The problem is that trauma-dumping on a person can be shocking and potentially overwhelming. So, when developing a relationship with someone new, open up to them slowly, over time.

5. Constant one-upmanship.

A group of four people are gathered in a modern coffee shop. Two men and a woman are standing by a counter where one person is pouring coffee. The focus is on a woman in a denim shirt, and there's a woman seated at a table in the background.

“That’s nothing, bro! This one time…”

Don’t be that person.

Although a lot of people seek to relate to others by sharing similar stories of their own adventures, trying to one-up another’s experience will put you in the eternal doghouse. You’re not in competition with anyone, so validate their experiences without seeking to outshine them.

6. Making jokes about everything (especially off-color ones).

Two people are sitting at a round wooden table in a modern cafe with a glass wall in the background. One person, wearing a green top, is laughing with one hand on their forehead, while holding a phone in the other hand. The other person is facing away.

It gets very tiresome when someone makes jokes about everything that occurs (whether those around them feel like laughing or not), and that includes responding with “That’s what SHE said!” during serious conversations. You’ll also become a social pariah rather quickly if your jokes are bigoted, vulgar, or otherwise inappropriate.

7. Interrupting or finishing other people’s sentences instead of allowing them to speak.

Two women sitting at a table holding coffee mugs and engaged in conversation. One wears a red and white striped shirt while the other wears a pink shirt. There are plants and curtains in the background, and both women appear happy and engaged.

Whether you’re trying to rush someone through a conversation because you’re feeling impatient, or you want to prove to them just how thoroughly you “get” them, it’s actually incredibly rude to finish someone else’s sentences for them, or to interject your thoughts as they’re trying to express their own.

8. Not paying attention to what’s been going on in others’ lives.

A man in a white shirt and black tie is closing his eyes and plugging his ears with his fingers. His facial expression appears strained or uncomfortable, and he is standing against a plain, light-colored background.

If you care about the people in your life, keep up to date with what’s going on in their worlds. Few things can be as damaging as making a baby joke and then finding out a friend had a miscarriage, or inviting someone to go running with you after they’d been paralyzed in a car accident.

9. Screwing people over.

In a kitchen, two women appear to be having a disagreement. The woman in the foreground is looking away, covering her mouth with her hands, while the woman in the background is holding a mug and expressing surprise or frustration.

Whether it’s borrowing money and never paying it back, throwing them under the bus when they need your help, or sleeping with their partner, screwing someone over will damage your reputation—and your social life—forever. Once you prove yourself to be a wastrel like that, nobody will want you anywhere near them.

10. Being argumentative for its own sake.

Three women sit at a table with drinks, engaged in an animated conversation. The woman in the middle looks directly at the camera with a calm expression while the other two, on either side, gesture energetically toward each other. A potted plant is in the background.

You might derive immense joy and entertainment from lively debates with others, but that doesn’t mean everyone else feels the same way. Unless you’re specifically invited to debate someone during a discussion, avoid arguing with them solely for the sake of doing so. If you have something important to add, cool, but don’t be contentious.

11. Going on the attack based on personal assumption.

A man with a beard and wearing a white shirt sits at a table in conversation with a woman whose back is to the camera. His expression is thoughtful and slightly furrowed, as if engaged in a serious discussion. The setting appears to be a casual cafe.

There’s a massive trend right now in which people make assumptions about what others express and leap down their throats about it. You could say: “I prefer chocolate to almonds” and they’ll respond with “So what you’re saying is that you want to burn down all almond trees? You didn’t even mention walnuts here, you bigot.”

12. Being gluttonous.

Four hands reaching toward a blue plate on a wooden table, with one hand holding a slice of pepperoni pizza.

Taking more than your fair share of anything, or grabbing the best of what’s available instead of graciously offering it to others around you, is a one-way ticket to eternal lonely land. Everyone appreciates generosity in others, while also despising greedy people who always put their own needs and wants first.