Are you minding your own business?
Minding your own business does more for your peace and happiness than almost anything else. Furthermore, minding your business should improve your friendships and relationships because people with healthy boundaries do not want to spend their time with nosy busybodies.
But suppose you are a little on the nosy side—how can you resist the temptation to pry into the lives of others? How do you rein in behaviors that others consider intrusive? How can you stop yourself from becoming a full-on interfering busybody that no one wants to be around?
Let’s take a deeper look at the behaviors you need to curb if you want to stay in your own lane.
1. Engaging in gossip, either actively or passively.
People love gossip. It’s exciting to feel like you are in the know about some drama that is unfolding.
The problem is that gossip causes unnecessary stress in your life. If you are gossiping or receiving gossip, you are intentionally choosing not to respect people’s boundaries.
No one likes that. You probably don’t like it when others aren’t minding their own business and butting into yours.
And why don’t you like it? The obvious reason is that it’s your business to mind.
The not-so-obvious reason is that gossip often isn’t an accurate reflection of the situation. There are usually holes in the story, unknown motivations, or the person who is spreading the gossip is sprinkling some additional flavor on top to make the scandal a bit spicier.
That gossip may also stem from something deeply personal and painful. Gossips may find it exciting that Sharon had a blowout fight with her husband. It’s not so entertaining when you find out the reason is that Sharon can’t get pregnant and it’s tearing their relationship apart.
Avoid gossip. It’s not a good thing. Don’t spread it, don’t receive it.
And if someone tries to spread it to you, say to them, “Why are you telling me this? I’m trying to mind my own business.” That will clearly communicate that you are not interested in gossip. Be forewarned, you may find that other gossips stop talking to you over it. After all, they are there for the gossip, not for you.
2. Trying to change or “fix” people rather than accept them as they are.
People are often messy because they are trying to work through the harm and heartbreaks they’ve experienced. Minding your business can be easier when you remove the idea of drama and spectacle from the equation.
The greatest thing you can do to find more peace with other people is to accept them for who they are, not try to change them, and stop trying to fix people’s problems for them.
You can decide to be a positive influence and encourage people on their path, but you can’t fix anyone other than yourself. That’s not for you to do, not for a romantic partner, not for your children, not for anyone but you.
Stay in your lane and stop interfering with their lives. That’s how to mind your own business in a relationship or friendship.
That doesn’t mean you should accept bad behavior or not try to intervene in bad behavior if it’s within your power. Instead, you need to accept that it’s outside of your control and may not be worth involving yourself in.
3. Getting involved in unnecessary conflict by trying to change the opinions of others.
We lose a lot of our power and peace of mind by giving our emotions over to other people.
We cannot control the actions of others, but we can control how we respond to those actions. Yes, someone might do something hurtful to you, and you would feel justified in being hurt. Your hurt may be fair and reasonable. But do they think that way? Do they care? They may not.
You may get hurt, stand up for yourself, and find that it goes nowhere because the other person feels justified in their actions. What do you do in that situation?
Minding your business may be your best option. The opinions others have about you are not your business. You may feel like you can correct those wrong opinions or even lash back at the person by getting involved in the conflict, but it often doesn’t do any good. They’re more interested in the gossip and drama than you are.
You don’t want to ignore conflict completely. Conflict is a necessary part of human interaction, friendship, and relationship building. You’re going to have disagreements with people that you’re close to, and that’s okay. Those points of conflict serve as building blocks in strengthening a relationship as you work with that person to find a resolution.
Still, you may wish to choose not to care about their opinion. It’s difficult to do at first, but it gets easier the more you do it.
4. Forming unnecessary opinions about other people’s lives.
“Do I need to have an opinion on this?”
How is it that we form an opinion about someone else? It might seem obvious, but you need to be in their business to begin with. Otherwise, how would you know or why would you care?
One way to stop being so nosy is to refrain from forming opinions about other people’s lives. You can stay in your own lane, focus on yourself and handle your own business. You aren’t required to have an opinion, particularly if the business doesn’t affect you.
Another issue is having an informed opinion. You will never get the full picture from gossip alone. There’s likely to be some piece of information that could change the context of a situation, revealing that your opinion was wrong all along.
And for what? There’s nothing to gain by having unnecessary, incorrect opinions.
Incorrect opinions can help shape your perception and interactions with others, often in a negative way. This results in unfair judgment and conflict that didn’t need to exist if you had just minded your business.
These problems also rob you of meaningful emotional energy to pour into the things that matter, like a cause you might believe in, working on yourself, or fixing your own life. Conserve that emotional energy and peace of mind by questioning your opinions.
5. Letting your emotions and impulses dictate your behavior.
All day, every day, we are flooded with emotions about different things, but not all feelings are worth our time and attention.
You may ask yourself, “Why can’t I mind my own business?” And the answer may be that you’re following your emotions too much. Just because we feel something doesn’t mean we need to act on those feelings.
Let’s say you’re suspicious of your partner. It’s typically better to mind your own business in a relationship without any kind of tangible reason not to. Suspicions can certainly lead to uncovering an unsavory truth, but they can also destroy a good relationship. No one likes to have their privacy violated.
The question to address is, “Is there a good reason for me to act on these emotions?”
You may find that an impulsive, emotional reaction doesn’t serve you well. The only way to intercept those emotions is by pausing to question the emotion. Once you do that, you can decide to step outside of your lane if the situation warrants your attention.
6. Getting involved in things that simply don’t affect you.
Before interjecting yourself into anyone’s business, do you ask yourself “Does this affect me?” If the answer is no, then you most likely don’t need to know about it or be involved. So why are you?
You can even apply this question to other facets of your life. What does affect you and what doesn’t? What do you have control over and what don’t you?
You can create so much peace for yourself by considering what affects you and what doesn’t. Furthermore, it helps you stay in your own lane and focus more on your life than others.
Are you someone who is into celebrity culture? Why? Does it affect you? Does it matter to your life at all? Not at all. They’re millionaires doing whatever crazy stuff they’re doing that the media is currently blasting out because people give their attention to it. All that does is waste your time.
Then you have the drama in the lives of the people around you. Does it concern you? No? Then why waste your time on it? You only have so many hours in the day. Mind your own business and focus on your life instead.
7. Providing solicited or unsolicited advice.
Don’t provide solicited or unsolicited advice. Typically, you’d see this point stated as “Don’t provide unsolicited advice.” However, what many people don’t consider is that offering solicited advice can be just as bad if not worse.
First, for you to offer an informed opinion and advice requires you to be involved in that person’s business. And if you don’t want to be nosy and interfering, then you’re already on the wrong path.
Second, you don’t know what the actual truth of the matter is. You’re only hearing what this person is telling you. If others are involved, they will have their own take on what’s going on. Even then, that’s all just opinions. Then there is the matter of the actual truth at the core of it all.
Third, you may end up blamed for your solicited advice which pulls you deeper into their business. You can give the absolute perfect advice for a situation and it just blows up in their face. Maybe someone did something unexpected. Maybe they only followed part of your advice. It could be that the advice you gave was based on a mistaken impression. Maybe they just straight-up lied to you. Whatever the cause, they may turn around and blame you for it because you gave the advice.
Unsolicited advice is something people don’t often want to hear. And while some want to hear solicited advice, you do need to be wary about giving it because you are interjecting yourself into their business. Sometimes the best advice you can give is, “You should really talk to a professional about that. I can’t help you.”
Finally…
Minding your own business isn’t about being cold or uncaring. It’s about respecting boundaries, preserving your peace, and focusing on what truly matters in your life. By ditching these 7 interfering behaviors, you’ll not only improve your relationships and lose the title of interfering busybody, but you’ll also free up valuable time and energy for personal growth. So, take a step back, stay in your lane, and watch how your life transforms for the better.
